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LowLevelChimp
Just your average pos
- Jul 18, 2022
- 44
I'm struggling inside today, I found out that a recovery friend and mentor passed away this week after going back to drinking/using and signing himself out of hospital. He was instrumental in my recovery and I knew him before as a child/teen.
I can't explain how I will miss him, just knowing I won't see him again hurts. I'm still processing this, I just feel flat and empty, I can't imagine how his family is feeling, he did so much good for others but always struggled himself.
In my short recovery so many people I've know has passed through picking up again or suicide, I just sometimes feel what's the point, I struggle with self doubt and suicidal thoughts/ideation. I came into recovery from alcoholism after my last suicide attempt and he was there at my first meeting and he gave me hope. So far down today I just needed to put it out there.
I can't help feeling that there's no point to it all and I know I'm full of self pity but I do feel for him and his family, but like him I've been wearing a mask recently but planning my exit in private. I just can't get out of this chasm.
Sorry for this bit of self indulgent nonsense and thanks for letting me vent a bit.
I can't explain how I will miss him, just knowing I won't see him again hurts. I'm still processing this, I just feel flat and empty, I can't imagine how his family is feeling, he did so much good for others but always struggled himself.
In my short recovery so many people I've know has passed through picking up again or suicide, I just sometimes feel what's the point, I struggle with self doubt and suicidal thoughts/ideation. I came into recovery from alcoholism after my last suicide attempt and he was there at my first meeting and he gave me hope. So far down today I just needed to put it out there.
I can't help feeling that there's no point to it all and I know I'm full of self pity but I do feel for him and his family, but like him I've been wearing a mask recently but planning my exit in private. I just can't get out of this chasm.
Sorry for this bit of self indulgent nonsense and thanks for letting me vent a bit.