A couple of days ago i asked a question on here whether if you had a condition that made you smell, if you would want to kill yourself.....

[jawdropped123]

A couple of days ago i asked a question on here whether if you had a condition that made you smell, if you would want to kill yourself and alot of the responses where "yes" some where "no" and other didnt really answer my question but they where very nice to try to help me. For the once that said "no" i can live a decent isolated life. I dont know if they know how fucked up that is. And for the once who said there are still people that would want to be with me...how about jobs? How am i able to survive exactly if people cant even stand to be around me? I went to an interview today that was 20 minutes body language tell alot..they probably will never hire me..i cycled for 1.5 hours to get there a waste of my time and im probably never gonna hear from them again i will be homeless soon. I dont care about having no one but being homeless???

 

[Hollowman]

I'll be facing homelessness at some point I know I can't handle that.

 

[jawdropped123]

I'll be facing homelessness at some point I know I can't handle that.

Yeah im so done

 

[Hollowman]

I hear you, I've been done for years but my parents keep helping me out. They're old now time's running out.

 

[jawdropped123]

I hear you, I've been done for years but my parents keep helping me out. They're old now time's running out.

Damnn..i moved out im living far far away from my parents so im fucked too

 

[Al_stargate]

A person can't comprehend someone else's position until they experience it themselves. If more people had your condition there would be a race to find the cure. Sorry about what you're going through, can't imagine that. Someone who has a healthy mental state might give hypotheticals about what they would do in your situation but in reality, just after a couple of days in your shoes, they would likely start to lose it. Healthy people can't comprehend how it is when mental state begins to deteriorate.

 

[jawdropped123]

A person can't comprehend someone else's position until they experience it themselves. If more people had your condition there would be a race to find the cure. Sorry about what you're going through, can't imagine that. Someone who has a healthy mental state might give hypotheticals about what they would do in your situation but in reality, just after a couple of days in your shoes, they would likely start to lose it. Healthy people can't comprehend how it is when mental state begins to deteriorate.

I agree

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound so horrifying, that condition. It sounds like something that is capable of ruining someones life. It should not exist in the first place. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, this life is just so unfair and cruel. Many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own, and it is sad to hear how much some people suffer. I wish you the best.

 

[whatevs]

Listen, why would it matter what WE say? All lives seem to be solipsistic, incommunicated bubbles anyway. I can say that bad bodily odour made my life hell because I experienced it, and that's why I said I understand that it makes you suicidal.

However, it's YOUR life, YOUR experience. You are having a really hard time, and you are wondering about ending it. It's all reasonable.

It sounds like your life is going to suck with that condition, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. But people that are worse off seem to enjoy life, it's definitely not unheard of. It all comes down to the individual, subjective experience. Ending a shitty life can be seen as a economical decision, but at the same time life is very stubborn and some people make the best out of what they were dealt with.

 

[rationaltake]

Listen, why would it matter what WE say? All lives seem to be solipsistic, incommunicated bubbles anyway. I can say that bad bodily odour made my life hell because I experienced it, and that's why I said I understand that it makes you suicidal.

However, it's YOUR life, YOUR experience. You are having a really hard time, and you are wondering about ending it. It's all reasonable.

It sounds that your life is going to suck with that condition, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. But people that are worse off seem to enjoy life, it's definitely not unheard of. It all comes down to the individual, subjective experience. Ending a shitty life can be seen as a economical decision, but at the same time life is very stubborn and some people make the best out of what they were dealt with.

Yes. I agree. It's down to each individual to decide what they personally are prepared to accept.

Somebody else might make a go of my situation but I refuse to accept my circumstances.

 

[jawdropped123]

Listen, why would it matter what WE say? All lives seem to be solipsistic, incommunicated bubbles anyway. I can say that bad bodily odour made my life hell because I experienced it, and that's why I said I understand that it makes you suicidal.

However, it's YOUR life, YOUR experience. You are having a really hard time, and you are wondering about ending it. It's all reasonable.

It sounds like your life is going to suck with that condition, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. But people that are worse off seem to enjoy life, it's definitely not unheard of. It all comes down to the individual, subjective experience. Ending a shitty life can be seen as a economical decision, but at the same time life is very stubborn and some people make the best out of what they were dealt with.

I get what you mean tho the reason why im constantly asking this question is because im having a hard time explaining it to my therapist and im trying to see if im being dramatic for wanting to kill myself and i wanted to know how weird it would be to tell my therapist. But i guess because the majority said yes they would kill themself i wont even bother telling my therapist anymore and just have to end it.

Yes. I agree. It's down to each individual to decide what they personally are prepared to accept.

Somebody else might make a go of my situation but I refuse to accept my circumstances.

I know but sometimes i feel like im being dramatic and im having trouble talking about this with my therapist so i needed some opinions but im not telling him anymore cause its unfixable anyways you know because like in what way can he help me anyways

A person can't comprehend someone else's position until they experience it themselves. If more people had your condition there would be a race to find the cure. Sorry about what you're going through, can't imagine that. Someone who has a healthy mental state might give hypotheticals about what they would do in your situation but in reality, just after a couple of days in your shoes, they would likely start to lose it. Healthy people can't comprehend how it is when mental state begins to deteriorate.

Yeah i get it

 

[whatevs]

Are you sad, lonely and in pain? Has your life been miserable for many yers with little or no respite? The reasons why become irrelevant, if the answer is yes, and the reasons why can be foreseen in the future to still be plaguing you, ending your life makes sense. Whatever anyone else has to say or the opinion they have doesn´t matter in regards to how you regard your own life.

When did your condition start, how is it called?

 

[jawdropped123]

Are you sad, lonely and in pain? Has your life been miserably for many yers with little or no respite? The reasons why become irrelevant, if the answer is yes, and the reasons why can be foreseen in the future and still plaguing you, ending your life makes sense. Whatever anyone else has to say or the opinion they have doesn´t matter in regards to how you regard your own life.

When did your condition started, how is it called?

I truly agree with you but my therapist wont. I feel like he will think im attention seeking if i have no reason to kms even now that im having trouble talking to him i still feel like im not being taken seriously.

My condition started at 10 years old when i first got my period so basically it happened due to hormones. Its called "tmau" its a gut disorder. There is no cure. I tried a diet doesnt work anymore its like my body adapts very fast i have an ed because of it now

 

[whatevs]

It´s a genetic disorder, it seems, and there is no cure. I am sorry.

I truly agree with you but my therapist wont. I feel like he will think im attention seeking if i have no reason to kms even now that im having trouble talking to him i still feel like im not being taken seriously.

You pay or someone pays the therapist to hear your shit. Don´t hold back. If you are not telling that person everything it´s a waste of time (unless you just want to CTB, in which case the therapy ends).

 

[jawdropped123]

It´s a genetic disorder, it seems, and there is no cure. I am sorry.

You pay or someone pays the therapist to hear your shit. Don´t hold back. If you are not telling that person everything it´s a waste of time (unless you just want to CTB, in which case the therapy ends).

Yup.
Yeah i mean right i am paying its just embarrassing but he probably heard worst things before

 

[Riddle]

Earlier in this thread somebody said you can't comprehend what somebody is going through until you have experienced. All I am going to say is that I have a devastating chronic illness and I would trade it for yours in a heartbeat and then no, I would not want to ctb if I only had what you had. Yes you were dealt a bad hand, and other were dealt worse hands, some hands are unplayable but imo yours is. You still have a healthy brain, a healthy body

If you are outside around people is the smell still bad? And how old are you? I 100% believe it will be easier for you to cope mentally as you get older

 

[Symbiote]

Earlier in this thread somebody said you can't comprehend what somebody is going through until you have experienced. All I am going to say is that I have a devastating chronic illness and I would trade it for yours in a heartbeat and then no, I would not want to ctb if I only had what you had. Yes you were dealt a bad hand, and other were dealt worse hands, some hands are unplayable but imo yours is. You still have a healthy brain, a healthy body

If you are outside around people is the smell still bad? And how old are you? I 100% believe it will be easier for you to cope mentally as you get older

People have different situations that makes life unbearable or they don't have enough in their emotional tank to live forward. We shouldn't invalidate one person's misery because you think they don't have it worse unlike others do. Bad smells, horrible skin conditions (psoriasis) all have an effect on how the world perceives us. I have psoriasis and it has made the outside world think I'm dirty, unclean, or have an STD. People didn't want to share the swimming pool when I'm in it. It hurt to go into the ocean cause salt water burns it.

People have killed themselves for having chronic hiccups or cluster headaches. People kill themselves over sports teams not making the playoffs or losing a lottery ticket. It's just one thing over a period of other shit that finally breaks a person.

 

[Riddle]

People have different situations that makes life unbearable or they don't have enough in their emotional tank to live forward. We shouldn't invalidate one person's misery because you think they don't have it worse unlike others do. Bad smells, horrible skin conditions (psoriasis) all have an effect on how the world perceives us. I have psoriasis and it has made the outside world think I'm dirty, unclean, or have an STD. People didn't want to share the swimming pool when I'm in it. It hurt to go into the ocean cause salt water burns it.

People have killed themselves for having chronic hiccups or cluster headaches. People kill themselves over sports teams not making the playoffs or losing a lottery ticket. It's just one thing over a period of other shit that finally breaks a person.

I appreciate all that and I didn't mean to discount OP's experience, merely provide perspective. Plus OP did pose the question whether I would want to live with that condition, and I replied yes because it could be worse in my opinion.

I just want OP to know if they are young the feelings of embarrassment and loneliness are amplified and it can seem daunting to have a future living with that condition. But getting older for one helps you block out how much you consider what people think or say about you. Which would help them go about their daily lives

 

[Ethereal Knight]

For the [one] that said "no, [you] can live a decent isolated life", I dont know if they know how fucked up that is.

one of the main reasons I'mma CTB is loneliness. as much as I tried to be happy and satisfied while isolated, in the end of a long journey of trying it, I felt like it's not worth it, for me at least, to live life alone. even if I were rich, fit and beautiful, being alone just sucks too much for me. so I think I can relate to you.

I'm sorry for your condition.

have you considered working from home? finding a partner who accepts you? (as someone commented in the other thread, it happened to somebody who has this condition, so it's possible)
someone posted a link of a forum of rare diseases. there must be some facebook groups too. it could be nice to meet people who are dealing with similar situations.

I think that telling your therapist that you're planning to kill youself could be good or good be terrible, there was a thread yesterday of an user telling, among other things, "When I confessed my suicidal ambitions to my old therapist in 2020, I was sent to a mental hospital. Not only did I NOT receive treatment there, I was put through so much horrible shit (sexual harassment, forced drugging, transphobia, etc) that I was traumatized" - I can relate to this user, I was forced to stay at the mental hospital too and few things traumatized more in my life than being confined there, it was nightmarish. be careful.

anyway, good luck with whatever you decide. and please forgive yourself, you tried your best, you're a good person and you're worthy of everything great in this world. know this.

 

[jawdropped123]

Earlier in this thread somebody said you can't comprehend what somebody is going through until you have experienced. All I am going to say is that I have a devastating chronic illness and I would trade it for yours in a heartbeat and then no, I would not want to ctb if I only had what you had. Yes you were dealt a bad hand, and other were dealt worse hands, some hands are unplayable but imo yours is. You still have a healthy brain, a healthy body

If you are outside around people is the smell still bad? And how old are you? I 100% believe it will be easier for you to cope mentally as you get older

Its pretty bad you can feel it from a far im 21 ive been dealing with this for 10 years. The stares are exhausting and people are following me for some reason but i dont know if its related to the condition or if paranoia

I appreciate all that and I didn't mean to discount OP's experience, merely provide perspective. Plus OP did pose the question whether I would want to live with that condition, and I replied yes because it could be worse in my opinion.

I just want OP to know if they are young the feelings of embarrassment and loneliness are amplified and it can seem daunting to have a future living with that condition. But getting older for one helps you block out how much you consider what people think or say about you. Which would help them go about their daily lives

Yeah the thing isnt just the smell tho.
I cant get a job. I will probably be homeless in a couple of months.
Roommates cant stand being around me.
No sex. No one want to be around you
No friends. For the same reason.
Isolation. Because people react to the smell (sneezing/coughing.
People are rude to you especially strangers.
People talk behind your back.
People will make assumptions that you're dirt.

Id rather have an any other condition. I dont want to sound rude or insensitive but id rather have cancer or any other medical condition because if im out in public and someone see me bald they will assume i have cancer or alopecia and they would feel bad for me rather than be disgusted by me.
Have a great day!
I

 

[WhiteRabbit]

there must be some facebook groups too. it could be nice to meet people who are dealing with similar situations.

Agreed. I would check out some of those groups to see how other people are living and coping with this condition.

 

[jawdropped123]

Agreed. I would check out some of those groups to see how other people are living and coping with this condition.

I already have friends with this condition

 

[Riddle]

Its pretty bad you can feel it from a far im 21 ive been dealing with this for 10 years. The stares are exhausting and people are following me for some reason but i dont know if its related to the condition or if paranoia

Yeah the thing isnt just the smell tho.
I cant get a job. I will probably be homeless in a couple of months.
Roommates cant stand being around me.
No sex. No one want to be around you
No friends. For the same reason.
Isolation. Because people react to the smell (sneezing/coughing.
People are rude to you especially strangers.
People talk behind your back.
People will make assumptions that you're dirt.

Id rather have an any other condition. I dont want to sound rude or insensitive but id rather have cancer or any other medical condition because if im out in public and someone see me bald they will assume i have cancer or alopecia and they would feel bad for me rather than be disgusted by me.
Have a great day!
I

Sorry my man, you are right, I don't know what its like to have that condition and will never be able to truly empathize and understand what you are going through. It does sound incredibly isolating, I still think I would give it another 5-10 years since you are still young and at the least smoke weed and play video games. Or find a hobby you enjoy

And yea maybe you can find some people on FB like whiterabbit suggested

 

[Ethereal Knight]

depending on the country you live, you can ask for disability. I'm not sure but I think US gives disability for mental health conditions.

at the least smoke weed and play video games. Or find a hobby you enjoy

as a hikikomori, I've been doing that for a couple of years now and I gotta say that at some point the lack of friends, the lack of sexual or romantic partners and the feelings of loneliness start to catch up with you, despite you being skilled at constantly running & hiding from the pain.
it's very hard to cope with social isolation. I think maybe one can do that only temporarily, or do it for a long time but become somewhat psychologically ill in the proccess...

I wish I could help you but I would be an hypocryte, because like I said, I wasn't even able to help myself, loneliness is one of the biggest factors that's sending me to the grave.

maybe you could try more diets? what diets have you tried yet? human beings are versatile and can survive on so many diets. from vegan to carnivore, from only raw fruit to only beef and animal fat, we are a super adaptable species.

maybe find a buddhist master, go to the monastery and become a buddhist monk? 21 years old is very young age, your mind is still sharp enough to learn crazy meditation techniques, buddhist teachings and become a master at controlling your own mind. then you won't worry anymore about money or connections, you'll be bigger than that.
this is a big one, you could change your life upside down.

maybe find God? the same way buddhist religion can change one's life, other religions can too. for example, cristianity. people have managed to turn everything upside down through means that I don't really understand, but are connected to faith and religion.

 

[jawdropped123]

depending on the country you live, you can ask for disability. I'm not sure but I think US gives disability for mental health conditions.

as a hikikomori, I've been doing that for a couple of years now and I gotta say that at some point the lack of friends, the lack of sexual or romantic partners and the feelings of loneliness start to catch up with you, despite you being skilled at constantly running & hiding from the pain.
it's very hard to cope with social isolation. I think maybe one can do that only temporarily, or do it for a long time but become somewhat psychologically ill in the proccess...

I wish I could help you but I would be an hypocryte, because like I said, I wasn't even able to help myself, loneliness is one of the biggest factors that's sending me to the grave.

maybe you could try more diets? what diets have you tried yet? human beings are versatile and can survive on so many diets. from vegan to carnivore, from only raw fruit to only beef and animal fat, we are a super adaptable species.

maybe find a buddhist master, go to the monastery and become a buddhist monk? 21 years old is very young age, your mind is still sharp enough to learn crazy meditation techniques, buddhist teachings and become a master at controlling your own mind. then you won't worry anymore about money or connections, you'll be bigger than that.
this is a big one, you could change your life upside down.

maybe find God? the same way buddhist religion can change one's life, other religions can too. for example, cristianity. people have managed to turn everything upside down through means that I don't really understand, but are connected to faith and religion.

Im trying to be a vegan the thing is that im in my early 20s i want to enjoy life im not fat because i cant really gain much weight so i can wat whatever i want so it kinda sucks so sometimes i give up on my diet and i have the biggest meltdown so now they think i have an ED

 

[downndone2]

Is it Trimethylaminuria[ that you suffer from? Have you tried changing your diet and/or antibiotics? Dietary supplements? Slightly acidic soaps and/or lotions?
Also, have you looked into remote jobs?
I'm sorry you suffer with this condition and hope you can find some relief and work

 

[jawdropped123]

Is it Trimethylaminuria[ that you suffer from? Have you tried changing your diet and/or antibiotics? Dietary supplements? Slightly acidic soaps and/or lotions?
Also, have you looked into remote jobs?
I'm sorry you suffer with this condition and hope you can find some relief and work

Im a vegan at the moment but i do eat cheese tho but other rhan that i only eat fruits and plants. Im trying probiotic for the first time i hope it helps

 

[downndone2]

Im a vegan at the moment but i do eat cheese tho but other rhan that i only eat fruits and plants. Im trying probiotic for the first time i hope it helps

I have read activated charcoal and certain copper supplement can also help. Then the slightly acidic soaps/lotions can convert trimethylamine on the skin. I wish all the best and hope something helps. Sounds like your diet is good

 

[jawdropped123]

I have read activated charcoal and certain copper supplement can also help. Then the slightly acidic soaps/lotions can convert trimethylamine on the skin. I wish all the best and hope something helps. Sounds like your diet is good

Thanks you i will have to try that

 

[Ethereal Knight]

what about those random youtubers who claim they found the cure? have you checked their claims?
I haven't checked it, 'cause I know almost nothing about this condition, but here are the links:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2N-PBdKHj1Ut2Q3eDU1P5Q/videos

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdTfqzPKjOh4733qcO6RacA/videos

one of these youtubers says he's using kombucha, and he shows how to make kombucha like he does. the other I haven't checked in details but they also claim that they cured it.

i want to enjoy life (...) i can eat whatever i want so it kinda sucks so sometimes i give up on my diet

man, I have met people who have been eating nothing but ground beef, eggs and salt for 5+ years. I have also met people who have been eating only steak and salt for 20+ years. people like Shawn Baker and Mikhaila Peterson, for example, they do that.

I know that some people have the habit of using food a source of pleasure, but a better approach in my humble opinion would be to eat whatever makes you feel, look and perform the best.

food is like the gasoline for our engine, it's what fuels our performance.

what I'm suggesting is that you can "enjoy" life without having to eat "whatever you want". there are other ways of enjoying life. especially nowadays, there are so many things that give pleasure out there (movies, videogames, sports, physical activities, hobbies, sex toys [lol] etc...), that if you're really smart and creative and intentional, you can use food just for performance and get pleasure from other things.

especially now that you're considering taking your own life, the way you feel and perform is more important than temporary pleasure from food.

if you feel like the vegan diet works for you, then be disciplined and stick to it.

you can also do your research, 'cause there are many other diets out there, there may be a diet especifically designed for your condition.

I'm sure you know way more about this condition than I do, but a quick online search told me that even protein from legumes and grains could increase the smell. also things like cauliflower...

maybe some vegan diet variation, like some form of low-protein vegan diet could work in some way. I say this because vegan doesn't necessarily equals low-protein. one could be vegan and eat a lot of brown rice and black beans, peas, quinoa, wheat gluten, soy / tofu etc and then they still would be eating a good amount of protein despite being vegan.

cheese has a lot of casein, which is a dairy protein, so based on this I think it'd be a mistake to eat it. it's also addictive, so it's hard to give it up, but it's possible.

you could take supplements if needed. common ones for vegans are B12, EPA & DHA (omega 3s from algae oil), iron (if necessary), vitamin D, magnesium etc...

I don't know exactly what low-protein vegan looks like in practice (what exact foods people eat), but that's easy to discover, as there are many people doing it right now.

but my point is: use food as a performance-enhancing-drug and get pleasure from other things.