a completely honest suicide note

[nembutal]

many people heavily censor themselves in their letters as to minimize grief and guilt after their deaths. if you were to expose your raw emotions in your letter, what would you include? would there be someone you would guilt? is there something you would be very hesitant on including?

 

[Worndown]

You should write your note so the intended recipient gets the information you want them to have. Nice or honest, make it for them.
Maybe more than one note is needed when there are multiple recipients in more complex situations

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I wouldn't guilt anyone in a CTB note. If there is someone to blame for your problems, confront them while you're alive. I prefer to go out on a high note. My suicide shouldn't be about getting revenge on someone for wrongdoings. It should only be about alleviating my suffering.

 

[movinout17]

many people heavily censor themselves in their letters as to minimize grief and guilt after their deaths. if you were to expose your raw emotions in your letter, what would you include? would there be someone you would guilt? is there something you would be very hesitant on including?

I would minimize grief and guilt, because that's what I genuinely want to express. I'm fortunate enough to be living with a family who loves me. But unfortunate enough to want to CTB.
it's easy for me not to guilt anyone. But regardless, I believe it is better minimize damage when leaving the world.
I do understand though that some people have reasons to hold grudges, or would be satisfied by guilting others.

 

[liz!!!!!]

i'm not in as dark of a space as i used to be, and i can only explain my emotions accurately when i feel them. but if i did, i'd probably say sorry. an individual sorry for everyone i'll be leaving. leaving them is my biggest regret. they'd know i didn't have a reason to be here anymore, but they do. and my last request would be that they live a life that'd make me happy. i don't have anyone who would find out to guilt. and even if i did, they wouldn't deserve to know that they were why. :)

 

[itsallpointless]

I'm a coward so not even gonna produce a note. Gonna throw the dirty work of cleaning up to a friend and make it look like a natural death.
Ending on a different note I guess

 

[sunnydaysahead]

many people heavily censor themselves in their letters as to minimize grief and guilt after their deaths. if you were to expose your raw emotions in your letter, what would you include? would there be someone you would guilt? is there something you would be very hesitant on including?

every single note I write starts off pretty much like: "this was not your fault" but then I start to write down my raw emotions, and it gets pretty ugly lol. The only person in my life that somewhat understands and tries hard is my sister, I would not want to guilt her at all. I used to have nothing but respect for my grandparents, my guardians who took me in from my neglectful bio parents, but so much stupid, hateful shit has been said by them that I don't really care anymore. They have lost a child before (from a very very unlikely event that wasn't their fault) so I get a bit hesitant about that. They tell me that whatever I do, they just don't want me to kill myself. But that's not something I can guarantee, not at all. When my grandma is mad at me, I really want to CTB and quickly to avoid her rage.

I would include how mad at I am at them for not accepting me (really, it's my own fault for thinking that baby boomers from the midwest would ever accept a transgender person.) among other things. This got really rambly, sorry about that.

 

[FuneralCry]

Honestly, I wouldn't wish to make anyone feel bad in a suicide note, the focus would be on saying that suicide is the preferable option for me and that now I'm no longer suffering. The whole point of the note would be to act as a form of closure for others and act as some sort of explanation, the thing that I have a problem with and hate is life itself rather than specific people.

 

[yohan]

i might anonymously guilt some of the people who intentionally caused pain in my life, but im not entirely sure. if they read it, they would understand. the note can be me apologizing to the people who are closest to me. an apology for my selfishness, deciding to go through. an apology to my really attached friend especially, i know me ending my life will affect her and and i feel extremely bad about it. but i still have time so im not worrying rn. i would include the passwords to my accounts so they don't go to a complete waste. i would ask for my dogs to see my body so they got a sense of where i went. and for the things i own, my wish would be for it to be sent to anyone who needs it the most.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Honestly- the first suicidal thoughts I had (aged 10) were in direct response to someone. I did rough out a note way back then where I named them. I'm an adult now though. All that shit no doubt contributed to where I am now but it's not the main reason anymore.

I do want to say that I'd been suicidal for decades though- I do want people to realise that I hung on for as long as I could (primarily for my Dad to go first.) Still- I don't feel the need to name and shame anymore. I truly believe they are a Narcissist anyway- so- I don't think it would affect them regardless.

That's the thing- if it's some kind of abuse or trauma you want to pinpoint as your cause- what are the chances the perpetrator is even capable of feeling blame or remorse? Perhaps it will affect the way some of the people around them see them but I doubt it. Narcissists have 'flying monkeys'- people who will stick by them no matter what. I expect other types of abusers are the same- they manipulate people.

For me- there are a few friends who will know the truth always. Some of them lived through it with me. That's enough for me. Everyone else will likely suspect it- even if they don't talk about it. Besides that- we'll be free of this shit show! Let them think what they want!

 

[jamie_]

If there is someone to blame for your problems, confront them while you're alive

and if they avoid you because they know they've done you wrong and prevent you from confrontation whilst you're alive, don't bother writing anything for when you are dead. nothing you say is going to make it back to them

 

[Disaster]

I actually need help with some comfortable-to-the-recipient but untruthful note idea… See, I'm considering leaving two versions, one for the person really close to me, who would likely cope better when told the truth, and another one for the rest. I do have some friends who happen to be pro-lifish when it comes to CTB, even though they are pro-choice when it comes to pregnancy. We are sort of indoctrinated to be pro-life when it comes to CTB, so I don't feel like it's entirely their fault. I don't want them agonizing over not stopping me or something. Yet they put down their pets if the pet is in pain, like every compassionate person does, so I doubt they would refuse that right to someone in serious physical pain etc. So I need ideas of illnesses that wouldn't be visible, yet could be "sufficient reason" for such people to make them not beat themselves too much for not "saving" me, and maybe would make them start being a little more pro-choice, just respecting my choice. For obvious reasons I do prefer to receive those ideas via DM, not on a forum.
I am not planning anything in particular at the moment, yet my concern about pro-lifers possibly getting really upset, but also even more pro-life because of guilt is a huge burden. I feel like a lie about an illness they'd consider "serious and unpleasant enough" to make the CTB "justified" may do more good in making them respect peoples choices on stuff like that, than just confronting them with actual truth.

 

[LastFlowers]

I wouldn't guilt anyone in a CTB note. If there is someone to blame for your problems, confront them while you're alive. I prefer to go out on a high note. My suicide shouldn't be about getting revenge on someone for wrongdoings. It should only be about alleviating my suffering.

If they're someone(s) who possess power, privilege, support that you do not have yourself then confronting them while still alive could cost you and leave you with more consequences to bear until you're able to ctb.
It's rare that someone would even admit their own guilt in causing or compounding someone else's suffering.

 

[88124540]

many people heavily censor themselves in their letters as to minimize grief and guilt after their deaths. if you were to expose your raw emotions in your letter, what would you include? would there be someone you would guilt? is there something you would be very hesitant on including?

The people who did me wrong would be named(I really only wouldn't want to name them just because I know my inner circles would think it was petty), and I know my childhood messed me up a lot, but I wouldn't want to say anything that would make my mom feel even worse.

 

[ThinkTechnical]

I'm conflicted on this. On one hand, exposing all the horrible things my step-brother has done to me with all the proof I can possibly reproduce might get him in some kind of trouble if it's believed. On the other hand... I don't want anyone to be killed, or go to jail. I don't want him hurt for all the times he's hurt me. I want him to just... be a better person. I want him to realise how much he's hurt me, and how close I could have brought his acts to being discovered and retribution being brought to him, so that he thinks twice before doing it to anyone else.
Would a note just for him be enough to sway his morals back to something more reasonable, or does he need to be actually punished before he'll change his ways? I really don't know.

I suppose if I were exposing my raw emotions, I'd want to make sure he knows that by driving me to CTB, he took away the only things I truly cared about in my life. He took away the only love I ever had, and the only objects that in my mind ever loved me, if no actual person ever did. That's the most pained sentiment that exists for me at this stage in my life...

 

[liverhood]

if i ever left a suicide note (which i won't, as writing one is probably the second biggest waste of time ever (first being life itself lol)) i would probably guilt trip and blame someone specific just for fun