I think not all clinics are perfect for that. But I am amazed how strong some people I met there influenced my life. In some ways it was enriched by that. I was a couple of times in clinics. Full time clinics, day time clinics and the locked ward. The last one is not such a good place to meet people or a place to have good conversations. The life quality was for me always the best when I cooperated and went there on a voluntary basis. I recently complained that some higher ups of the clinics often pushed people not to stay that long. However I know how luxurious the German health care system is compared to international systems. I am very grateful for that I had to pay close to nothing for it. They say the German health care system lacks a lot of money and sometimes I get a guilty conscience because of it. But honestly fuck them welfare is way too low let's let the system implode. (I am kind of cynical and off-topic.) I wanted to say don't feel guilty for searching help the society does not treat us well in many instances but I try to get help when it is possible and available. (And I fight for my right.)
I met really interesting people there. The best place for that was the day hospital for mental health. The people were not on the edge of suicide or acute in a psychotic episode this is why the conversations were more fruitful. I also was in a clinic for people with psychosis. There were many clinically insane people, delusional people, some criminals but also some other interesting friendly people there. I had contact to two of them for a long time.
In the clinics two women had a crush on me. Though I did not want to start a relationship with them. I had one serious crush on another girl but my brain fucked it up. I met a STEM professor who deeply impressed me and I tried to learn of him but he found me extremely annoying. I met a guy who wanted to become chancellor of my country, I met a guy who thought he was Jesus Christ, I met religious people who damned God for their suicidality, I met a lot of young people who fucked up their brains with drug consumption, people who barely had any thinking abilities anymore because of that, people with extremely crippling conditions, acute suicidal people some of them who might not be alive anymore (sadly I think the guy I think about did really want to live), A guy who became apathetic and depressed because he spent too much time in suicide forums and chatting with people shortly before they committed suicide (this was for me a serious warning not to become too close to other people here in this forum), people who heared voices in their heads and talked with them, a guy who shared his love for pornography (which was pretty weird and awkward). a girl who seriously suggested me (a guy with psychosis) to smoke some weed in order to get calm (this would be extremely counterproductive), many people lived despite abuse, misery, pain and traumata - they found a way to live with it and I tried to learn from them, I had many pretty interesting discussions with professionals, the mental health education helped me a lot, it was a valve for me to share my suicidality with them and it helped to cope in my darkest hours and I felt less alone because of it.
I met people who lived despite poverty, I had discussions with refugees whose families were killed in wars. Really tragic stories but it showed me that I have to be humble being born in Germany. I met a lot of people who became obese due to the medication, met people who were skilled artists some mental conditions are associated with higher creativity and I noticed that in many people, I met people with very heterogeneous conditions, people with PTSD, borderline, bipolar, different forms of schizophrenia, depression, ADHD, autism etc. I have not met any psychopath, sociopath, people with multiple personality disorder or at least they did not mention it. Maybe because there are not many of them or they did not want to share it (I kind of understand that because these are very stigmatized conditions).
I met a drug dealer who proudly called himself an antisemite (I don't condone that by any means though I would not have ever met people like that without these hospitalisations, it shocked me for sure). A young pregnant mother who did not care about her child. - I don't find that good but it taught me a lot about some humans. She lost interest in her child after some months/few years.
I met a lot of interesting clinic staff and learned how they coped with it. I had the feeling some of them were ill themselves, there were the religious ones and others who coped by ethical considerations etc, It was interesting to see how they dealt with all the suffering they are daily facing. Though I already elaborated on that a couple of time.
Of course it is horrible that many of them suffered so much. But some interactions helped me to learn about myself, humans in general, mental health, about suffering and conditio humana (just mentioned that to sound cool - irony?).
I can recommend going to clinics and search out for help. My stays helped me through some tough times. Though I could decide to which I went to because I went there volunterarily. The times when I went there voluntarily were more pleasant.
I think suicide forums are also places to meet interesting people. Though it is only online which reduces the interactions. Moreover the suffering can overwhelm sometimes. Meeting interesting people should not be the first priority to go there - but it can be a pleasant side effect.
Did you have similar experiences in clinics? I think I might will remember some people who I left out. I just remember one: A young woman who was mentally handicapped. I never had close contact to such a person and it was insightful to have a picture of what it was like to deal with such a person. I tried to be very friendly to her and some staff members were impressed by my behavior. (I think someone religious was impressed that someone with suicidal thoughts can be such a good person. Lol.) Yeah I also experienced some stigmatization. Sometimes even of staff sometimes from other patients. There was a girl who called people who have suicidal thoughts insane. It was her way to cope with her suicidal ideation. When I talked with her about psychosis she very weirdly associated it with pedophilia. I met an autistic guy who became extremely adapted to his environment because of past bullying (an he recommended me to do that which I rejected.) I talked with a shocked therapist about antinatalism. Okay I think I could go on for hours. Lol.
To add two people. I met two people who were only a shell of their former selves. They acted like children despite they were adults. Pretty sad.
I try to end it here. Thanks for reading. Holy shit such a wall of text. But I kind of enjoyed to reflect on my memories because these were very insightful for me.
I met really interesting people there. The best place for that was the day hospital for mental health. The people were not on the edge of suicide or acute in a psychotic episode this is why the conversations were more fruitful. I also was in a clinic for people with psychosis. There were many clinically insane people, delusional people, some criminals but also some other interesting friendly people there. I had contact to two of them for a long time.
In the clinics two women had a crush on me. Though I did not want to start a relationship with them. I had one serious crush on another girl but my brain fucked it up. I met a STEM professor who deeply impressed me and I tried to learn of him but he found me extremely annoying. I met a guy who wanted to become chancellor of my country, I met a guy who thought he was Jesus Christ, I met religious people who damned God for their suicidality, I met a lot of young people who fucked up their brains with drug consumption, people who barely had any thinking abilities anymore because of that, people with extremely crippling conditions, acute suicidal people some of them who might not be alive anymore (sadly I think the guy I think about did really want to live), A guy who became apathetic and depressed because he spent too much time in suicide forums and chatting with people shortly before they committed suicide (this was for me a serious warning not to become too close to other people here in this forum), people who heared voices in their heads and talked with them, a guy who shared his love for pornography (which was pretty weird and awkward). a girl who seriously suggested me (a guy with psychosis) to smoke some weed in order to get calm (this would be extremely counterproductive), many people lived despite abuse, misery, pain and traumata - they found a way to live with it and I tried to learn from them, I had many pretty interesting discussions with professionals, the mental health education helped me a lot, it was a valve for me to share my suicidality with them and it helped to cope in my darkest hours and I felt less alone because of it.
I met people who lived despite poverty, I had discussions with refugees whose families were killed in wars. Really tragic stories but it showed me that I have to be humble being born in Germany. I met a lot of people who became obese due to the medication, met people who were skilled artists some mental conditions are associated with higher creativity and I noticed that in many people, I met people with very heterogeneous conditions, people with PTSD, borderline, bipolar, different forms of schizophrenia, depression, ADHD, autism etc. I have not met any psychopath, sociopath, people with multiple personality disorder or at least they did not mention it. Maybe because there are not many of them or they did not want to share it (I kind of understand that because these are very stigmatized conditions).
I met a drug dealer who proudly called himself an antisemite (I don't condone that by any means though I would not have ever met people like that without these hospitalisations, it shocked me for sure). A young pregnant mother who did not care about her child. - I don't find that good but it taught me a lot about some humans. She lost interest in her child after some months/few years.
I met a lot of interesting clinic staff and learned how they coped with it. I had the feeling some of them were ill themselves, there were the religious ones and others who coped by ethical considerations etc, It was interesting to see how they dealt with all the suffering they are daily facing. Though I already elaborated on that a couple of time.
Of course it is horrible that many of them suffered so much. But some interactions helped me to learn about myself, humans in general, mental health, about suffering and conditio humana (just mentioned that to sound cool - irony?).
I can recommend going to clinics and search out for help. My stays helped me through some tough times. Though I could decide to which I went to because I went there volunterarily. The times when I went there voluntarily were more pleasant.
I think suicide forums are also places to meet interesting people. Though it is only online which reduces the interactions. Moreover the suffering can overwhelm sometimes. Meeting interesting people should not be the first priority to go there - but it can be a pleasant side effect.
Did you have similar experiences in clinics? I think I might will remember some people who I left out. I just remember one: A young woman who was mentally handicapped. I never had close contact to such a person and it was insightful to have a picture of what it was like to deal with such a person. I tried to be very friendly to her and some staff members were impressed by my behavior. (I think someone religious was impressed that someone with suicidal thoughts can be such a good person. Lol.) Yeah I also experienced some stigmatization. Sometimes even of staff sometimes from other patients. There was a girl who called people who have suicidal thoughts insane. It was her way to cope with her suicidal ideation. When I talked with her about psychosis she very weirdly associated it with pedophilia. I met an autistic guy who became extremely adapted to his environment because of past bullying (an he recommended me to do that which I rejected.) I talked with a shocked therapist about antinatalism. Okay I think I could go on for hours. Lol.
To add two people. I met two people who were only a shell of their former selves. They acted like children despite they were adults. Pretty sad.
I try to end it here. Thanks for reading. Holy shit such a wall of text. But I kind of enjoyed to reflect on my memories because these were very insightful for me.
Last edited:
