a classic warning of suicide: giving things away

[OblivionSeeker]

The past few months, I've gotten serious about giving away things that I've collected over a lifetime. My partner is older and feeble, and I question whether he would have the strength to go thru my things, and attend to finding "new homes" for them.

He's also trifling as hell, and would probably call garbage men and take all my nice stuff to the dump. (before taking the energy to go thru things.)

I'm old, and it's not easy getting rid of things you've owned since the 1950s. At first I thought it would be an unbearably emotional experience, going thru memories and objects from a lifetime. But it has become a relief.....knowing my nice things will get a new home, and not be sent to the dump. There are two charity thrift stores nearby that I'm donating to, when I get a 5 box delivery ready. (5 boxes is their limit on donations at this time)

Getting rid of things is a classic feature of impending suicide. My partner has a Masters in Counseling, but has failed to notice I'm getting rid of a LOT of stuff. and I do mean a lot. and there's more to go. An example how far removed he is, when it comes to anything about me.

Any of you folks experiencing this? or have experienced it?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I don't think my family wants a beaten up gaming laptop and a combat knife. Not sure they want the 50m of climbing rope that I won't need for the hanging, either They can just sell the clothes or other miscellaneous objects if they want. Whatever.

 

[summers]

@OblivionSeeker you make a good point. For people trying to keep their plans to themselves, it would be best to not give your things away. It will raise suspicions. I hate to say this, but your things matter to you, not other people. If you have anything of real value, just write up a will and have it notarized at a bank. Let shit get sorted out afterwards, it's not your problem anymore at that point.

 

[RedHarlequin]

I got rid of most of my things last time I attempted 4 years ago. Now I just don't buy a lot of stuff and throw things out the moment I don't need them anymore because I know I will be leaving anyway. All I really have are my clothes, some books and some documents. I plan to go through my clothes and throw most of them out before I leave so my partner has less to deal with.

 

[ashedout]

I'm looking forward to going through my things to see what to give away. I imagine having a few small objects set aside for when the time comes but plan to majorly get rid of most things beforehand to spare my family the hassle. I also second having a will drawn up just in case for anything valuable and any financial matters to settle if applicable.

 

[LittleJem]

I have stuff at my boyfriend's, my ex-husbands, my dad's place. My ex-husband, I'm going to ask him to put it in a skip/burn it/donate it. It is a big job and he will need to pay someone to help unless a friend of his helps him. I don't think any of it is valuable, it's 100s of self-help books!!! Much good they did ;) And some clothes. And probably a lot of old diaries of my historic misery! Burn it all.

My bf will never get rid of my stuff as he doesn't get rid of stuff in general. I don't want him living surrounded by his 'dead girlfriend's' stuff so this is one of the things I need to do before CTB. Tiring.

I am officially moving house this Sunday but I don't know if I'm well enough to rent by myself. Really don't know what to do. But I have to move a lot of stuff from one place to another in any case.

I am looking forward to getting rid of stuff. Some of it is just past-life now, or represents my dreams of getting better, and now I know that doesn't and won't happen.

 

[Rockman]

Ive always been minimalist. Dont have too much. Maybe guitar and aquarium is extra stuff but theyre worth a 3 cents.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Do it secretly with the will. Anything too sensitive put in the safety deposit box / self storage and spell it out.

 

[Lostandlooking]

I did this quite a lot last year when I got really bad. Not so much giving away nice things. More like cleaning up useless stuff. So my family doesn't have to deal with as much junk. I made several trips to the dump and thriftstores.

I also donated some money to charity. Also donated to SS. That felt pretty good.

 

[sorella santini]

Doing this currently too. It's sad that your partner, a counselor, has not noticed the signs. Could it be that your partner doesn't want to acknowledge what you are going through? I know mine likes to pretend most days that everything is hunky-dory.

My giving away of things is largely going unnoticed. We are in the process of downsizing for a move so it's been very easy to hide my intentions. Just sent my niece a couple of mementos that were my mother's, items that were dear to me. I am happy she will now have them.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I don't think my family wants a beaten up gaming laptop and a combat knife. Not sure they want the 50m of climbing rope that I won't need for the hanging, either They can just sell the clothes or other miscellaneous objects if they want. Whatever.

I'll take the combat knife.

 

[GarageKarate07]

The past few months, I've gotten serious about giving away things that I've collected over a lifetime. My partner is older and feeble, and I question whether he would have the strength to go thru my things, and attend to finding "new homes" for them.

He's also trifling as hell, and would probably call garbage men and take all my nice stuff to the dump. (before taking the energy to go thru things.)

I'm old, and it's not easy getting rid of things you've owned since the 1950s. At first I thought it would be an unbearably emotional experience, going thru memories and objects from a lifetime. But it has become a relief.....knowing my nice things will get a new home, and not be sent to the dump. There are two charity thrift stores nearby that I'm donating to, when I get a 5 box delivery ready. (5 boxes is their limit on donations at this time)

Getting rid of things is a classic feature of impending suicide. My partner has a Masters in Counseling, but has failed to notice I'm getting rid of a LOT of stuff. and I do mean a lot. and there's more to go. An example how far removed he is, when it comes to anything about me.

Any of you folks experiencing this? or have experienced it?

Speaking as a male. Your partner loves you very much. He has his own grief and worries and may not be "ignoring" you in the sense that you feel he is. You see him toil and go through his day not giving you attention but he has you on his mind. It's not that he doesnt notice or think about what hardships you are going through or anything like that. You want the advice of a younger man? Hold your husbands face gently, ask him to look you in the eyes gently, ask him to go to a simple lunch or dinner. Tell him you dont want to drift. Tell him you love him. Tell him to go back to the "honeymoon phase". You are a woman and you have no idea the power you have over a man. Use that power. Get him to not be busy for a moment and talk to him about how you feel. You dont have to tell him about your depression but tell him how you feel. He loves you. Command him and he will do it. Did You lose this power? Take a bath together. Go for a walk and actually talk about mutual things together. He has his pains also. Remember that before you misjudge him or take his actions as a misunderstanding.

 

[Symbiote]

My family is well aware of the warning signs, so when my time is near, I'll maintain the status quo and won't do anything that would tip off that something isn't right.

 

[GarageKarate07]

My family is well aware of the warning signs, so when my time is near, I'll maintain the status quo and won't do anything that would tip off that something isn't right.

These are my thoughts as well. I'm alone so its different. It will be weeks before they find me.

 

[Deltawaves74]

started clearing out today tried to find a home for my precious stuff but no takers so will bin them. its like its took me over now times moving this on its not gonna be long now, i also realised this week that the couple of people i was holding off for because i didnt want to hurt them actually do not see me as i see them so that worry is now gone. made me realise just how wrong ive been, totally do not understand people no matter how much i try to and i will never be like the majority, just wanted to be loved.
tried my best, loved with every bit of me but never right.
what sort of world is this when u would hurt no one, you do what u can to be a decent person and there isnt a single person on this planet who knows you to give you a hug, its hell, no matter what comes next if anything cant be worse

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, as for me, when I tried to ctb I left some notes explaining to my family what I wanted them to do with my stuff but the truth is I didn't really care whether they did what I wanted or not. After all, I would be dead and wouldn't be interested in what happened in this world anymore.

 

[Deltawaves74]

makes sense, i feel it would be sorta a last decent thing i can do for someone who maybe doesnt have much

 

[Moonbounce]

I've got so many things that it would take ages for me to sort through them. Not to mention most of them are pretty much worthless to anyone but me so giving away my things feels pointless. I feel that the only thing I'd actually take the time to go through and give away would be my extra clothes.

 

[watereyes]

I've thought of giving away my CRTs but who the hell would take care of them like I have...

 

[GarageKarate07]

I've thought of giving away my CRTs but who the hell would take care of them like I have...

What is that? CRT?

 

[watereyes]

What is that? CRT?

Cathode Ray Tube. Old TV sets. here they are :

Spoiler

 

[Meditation guide]

Cathode Ray Tube. Old TV sets. here they are :

Spoiler

The smol white one is adorable.

 

[GarageKarate07]

Cathode Ray Tube. Old TV sets. here they are :

Spoiler

Oh wow! Yeah, that's like a lost art for sure. Look at the tiny ones! Those are so cool. Like the handheld type. You could ebay them. I don't know what you would do with them either after that.

 

[watereyes]

Oh wow! Yeah, that's like a lost art for sure. Look at the tiny ones! Those are so cool. Like the handheld type. You could ebay them. I don't know what you would do with them either after that.

I would need to wait years for someone to buy them.. As long as I'm alive I'll be their mommy.

 

[OblivionSeeker]

Recently I've been able to get rid of a lot, by using Craigslist. It's especially easy when ya give the items away.

My closet is empty, my 3 bedroom chests are empty. nothing in my room but clothes, a lamp and a few pieces of furniture. But my partner's only observation is that "my room looked tidier". He is so thoroughly disconnected to me, it boggles my mind.

 

[Fizz]

My best friend ctb last year and the part that horrified me was that her parents threw everything she owned into a skip. Beautiful rugs, shoes, books, dresses that would have gotten good homes and would mean that little pieces of my friend's life were being enjoyed by others. I salvaged what I could, but in all the months of the ups and downs with her mental health, that skip broke me after her death.

 

[FuneralCry]

If I did do it, I wouldn't want anyone else to have to deal with all my stuff after I was gone. The problem is that I am a bit of a hoarder so it would be hard to get rid of lots of things without others noticing. Most of the stuff doesn't have much significance to me and I just hoard it for the sake of it.

 

[Hattywacky]

Cathode Ray Tube. Old TV sets. here they are :

Spoiler

what do you do with them? You ever upgraded one?
I've thought about getting one (something like the middle one on the blue table) and upgrading it. New screen, wifi connection, speakers, maybe fit a gaming console in there. I like the style of them and it reminds me of the painting

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I've thought of giving away my CRTs but who the hell would take care of them like I have...

I'll look after the small white one(Top left) and make a £20 Donation to a charity of your choice! :-)

 

[Makko]

The smol white one is adorable.

I was given one of these for my room when I moved countries as a kid. It was black and white and you had to sit with your nose to the glass to see anything, but the picture was very crisp. I had a big color tv before that so it was a fresh experience seeing modern color shows in black and white. Kinda comfy. I threw it away after a few years and never had a tv since. It would be a hipster treasure today.