A call

[Miss_Takes]

Im also lost ... and seriously would question the sanity of anyone looking to me for guidance on anything ... doesnt mean I dont have a few clues just means Ive lost trust in myself.

I was recently in a similar position to yourself. I have previously been highly regarded for my ability ... offered a job (despite the employer knowing a little of my struggle ... a former colleague recommended me). I have no real time limit on accepting and so have decided to leave the decision for now when my impulse was to say ... 'Hell NO ... dont you know Im a basket case who is seriously considering CTB and didnt work (actually love the work) get me here in the first place?'
Instead Im sitting on my hands ... no excuses ... just said Im taking the decision seriously and that it may take some time.
Im scared shitless ... but I was scared shitless before the offer ... so meh.
Of course this post is written on a day when I havent sat i the corner of the kitchen crying with a knife in my hand ... so maybe ask me again tomorrow.

 

[Spitfire]

Im also lost ... and seriously would question the sanity of anyone looking to me for guidance on anything ... doesnt mean I dont have a few clues just means Ive lost trust in myself.

I was recently in a similar position to yourself. I have previously been highly regarded for my ability ... offered a job (despite the employer knowing a little of my struggle ... a former colleague recommended me). I have no real time limit on accepting and so have decided to leave the decision for now when my impulse was to say ... 'Hell NO ... dont you know Im a basket case who is seriously considering CTB and didnt work (actually love the work) get me here in the first place?'
Instead Im sitting on my hands ... no excuses ... just said Im taking the decision seriously and that it may take some time.
Im scared shitless ... but I was scared shitless before the offer ... so meh.
Of course this post is written on a day when I havent sat i the corner of the kitchen crying with a knife in my hand ... so maybe ask me again tomorrow.

The knife in the hand is something because of te consciousness it can deliver to that person holding onto it... I hold it myself right now.
Alalallwlqlql
So stupid
I'm ready

 

[Meditation guide]

I have decided on January 24th. A 'Macgyver hands' call, I guess?

Isn't that more than three weeks? January 21st is the last day if you start from today. Why delay it so long anyway?

 

[LigottiFan19]

I think I will contact the operations manager, and tell him to give the opportunity to another soul.

Absolutely NOT.

This came to you. You jump on this shit, baby. If it doesn't work out that's another matter for later, for now, you NEED this.

Do not refuse.

 

[Spitfire]

Isn't that more than three weeks? January 21st is the last day if you start from today. Why delay it so long anyway?

To die...

 

[Ghost2211]

To die...

If you take it and choose to ctb there is no loss. It's good to keep on living while we are alive, and keep progress and opportunities open in life. If we ctb then it is what it is, but if we decide to keep going for another day, month, year at least we still have what we need. Living as if we are already dead makes quality of life worse.

 

[Spitfire]

If you take it and choose to ctb there is no loss. It's good to keep on living while we are alive, and keep progress and opportunities open in life. If we ctb then it is what it is, but if we decide to keep going for another day, month, year at least we still have what we need. Living as if we are already dead makes quality of life worse.

It is New Years Eve today and is a new year starting tomorrow, so have to see? I wanted to make it through the holidays to enjoy spending them with my sister this year.

I am going to have to think about this over the weekend before making a decision. If I am not going to go work then I need to let the organization know so they can get someone else ready to go on time. I am going to have to get back to my colleagues after the weekend though because they are going to want to know.

I have several decisions to make because I was planning to begin my traveling to visit my Dad in the beginning of January. I have a cabin to go to where I want to spend the last of my time there by myself for a while maybe a month or two first was what I I though to do.