N

nihilism__

Member
Jul 12, 2024
57
Title. Last few days I wasn't active at all, I'm sorry if I didn't respond to dms and private chats but I tried to do my best to give life a second chance (and it's not my first time doing that)
I started my fast 1 hour ago, gonna drink 500 ml of water in 3 hours and then fast again for another 4 hours.
Recap of the plan:
Fast 8 hours (500 ml of water total)
Take 1000 mg of paracetamol at 5am (500 mgX2)
Take 6 pills of maalox at 5:30 am (5mg metoclopramide X6) with a little bit of water
Drink 25 grams of SN mixed with 75 ml of water at 6am. I'll prepare another 2 cups beforehand in case I vomit my first drink.
I haven't texted the purity of the SN that I'm going to use, the lab said >= 98.5%. Can anyone tell me if they purchased on a Polish website called A….o pl their SN? Because that's where my SN comes from.
I am still glad that I tried with all my strength to give life another chance, but I am even more glad that it is possible to get out of this nightmare.
Moreover, although unintentionally, these months I have been very detached from friends and relatives and thinking about it was better that way.
Although I realized how frivolous and temporary all emotions are, since my uncle committed suicide in March and everyone forgot about it in a short time and have resumed their lives. makes me think. does it really make sense to worry about all this? and then one life less really counts so much? or is it just a number?
in any case in a few hours I will find out what awaits me, and that's all I'm waiting for. I would like to hear your opinions on it in the short time that remains
Nihilism
 
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MatrixPrisoner

MatrixPrisoner

Enlightened
Jul 8, 2023
1,376
8 hours until freedom from suffering. Have fun in the Utopia of non-existence, my friend.
 
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Nikitatos

Nikitatos

Arcanist
Apr 10, 2024
480
Right behind you. GL. 180,000 people die every day on Earth. Everyone dies eventually. It's very, very natural.
 
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dreamcatcher90

dreamcatcher90

Member
Aug 3, 2024
91
We are responsible for our own happiness and that is depressing indeed.
 
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Labyrinth

Labyrinth

There is no escaping the burden of existence
Jan 8, 2024
205
One less life makes no numerical difference, and not even society will care. I feel sad and relieved to know that your life will end. It must have been very difficult to bear. Thanks for sharing your ideas.

"I would like to hear your opinions on it in the short time that remains"
Do you want me to be honest? In my conception of death, you will relive all the previous moments, from the day you were born to the day you died. You will see life par excellence, in its smallest details. Every nuance, every movement, every color. I hope you discover the truth!
 
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opheliaoveragain

opheliaoveragain

Specialist
Jun 2, 2024
384
Wishing you courage and luck on your journey. Please update us if you want to<3 Thank you for giving life its chance, that's all we can do. Sending love.
 
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Kurai

Kurai

Suffering
Jul 23, 2023
177
Hope everything goes peaceful and well for you💜
 
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Last dance

Last dance

Forver 23
Aug 7, 2024
55
We are responsible for our own happiness and that is depressing indeed.
Not always. I used to be happy until people came and fucked me up
Op I wish you the best Im gonna do exactly as youre doing today in 3 weeks.
 
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A

Aprilfarewell4

Mage
Apr 9, 2024
557
Title. Last few days I wasn't active at all, I'm sorry if I didn't respond to dms and private chats but I tried to do my best to give life a second chance (and it's not my first time doing that)
I started my fast 1 hour ago, gonna drink 500 ml of water in 3 hours and then fast again for another 4 hours.
Recap of the plan:
Fast 8 hours (500 ml of water total)
Take 1000 mg of paracetamol at 5am (500 mgX2)
Take 6 pills of maalox at 5:30 am (5mg metoclopramide X6) with a little bit of water
Drink 25 grams of SN mixed with 75 ml of water at 6am. I'll prepare another 2 cups beforehand in case I vomit my first drink.
I haven't texted the purity of the SN that I'm going to use, the lab said >= 98.5%. Can anyone tell me if they purchased on a Polish website called A….o pl their SN? Because that's where my SN comes from.
I am still glad that I tried with all my strength to give life another chance, but I am even more glad that it is possible to get out of this nightmare.
Moreover, although unintentionally, these months I have been very detached from friends and relatives and thinking about it was better that way.
Although I realized how frivolous and temporary all emotions are, since my uncle committed suicide in March and everyone forgot about it in a short time and have resumed their lives. makes me think. does it really make sense to worry about all this? and then one life less really counts so much? or is it just a number?
in any case in a few hours I will find out what awaits me, and that's all I'm waiting for. I would like to hear your opinions on it in the short time that remains
Nihilism
Our lives only really mattered to us. Ultimately. See you on the other side
 
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L

LostSoul1965

Specialist
Apr 15, 2024
343
How are you holding up OP? I wish you the best whatever you decide.🙏
 
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nihilism__

Member
Jul 12, 2024
57
In my conception of death, you will relive all the previous moments, from the day you were born to the day you died. You will see life par excellence, in its smallest details. Every nuance, every movement, every color. I hope you discover the truth!
That's a good theory actually. I think like you and I believe that the brain in a few seconds before it dies down makes us remember all the moments lived from beginning to end, as a flashback. Also I believe that the soul allows for reincarnation in some other form of life, sentient or not.
 
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S

suffering_mo_7

Experienced
May 8, 2024
241
People will resume their lives because they have no choice. Your life DOES matter on earth to the ones who love you and as a Christian, I know you matter to God. As a mother, it would be devastating to me to lose my child in such a way. For my children, it will be devastating to them. I also would have been devastated to lose a sibling or spouse, of course, but it's often more easy to move forward from these. I wouldn't do it if I wasn't so physically and mentally tortured. I don't know your circumstances, so I will not judge you on that. But just know....you do matter. If you decide to change your mind, don't feel pressured to go forward.
 
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N

nihilism__

Member
Jul 12, 2024
57
How are you holding up OP? I wish you the best whatever you decide.🙏
Hey❤️ rn I'm a bit sleepy but not enough to actually sleep 😴
I'll take paracetamol in 1h and a half
 
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Last dance

Last dance

Forver 23
Aug 7, 2024
55
That's a good theory actually. I think like you and I believe that the brain in a few seconds before it dies down makes us remember all the moments lived from beginning to end, as a flashback. Also I believe that the soul allows for reincarnation in some other form of life, sentient or not.
Its quite scientifically waterproof that this happends. Your brain produce DMT as youre dying showing you your best memories. Quite sad when i think of it🥺
 
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N

nihilism__

Member
Jul 12, 2024
57
Title. Last few days I wasn't active at all, I'm sorry if I didn't respond to dms and private chats but I tried to do my best to give life a second chance (and it's not my first time doing that)
I started my fast 1 hour ago, gonna drink 500 ml of water in 3 hours and then fast again for another 4 hours.
Recap of the plan:
Fast 8 hours (500 ml of water total)
Take 1000 mg of paracetamol at 5am (500 mgX2)
Take 6 pills of maalox at 5:30 am (5mg metoclopramide X6) with a little bit of water
Drink 25 grams of SN mixed with 75 ml of water at 6am. I'll prepare another 2 cups beforehand in case I vomit my first drink.
I haven't texted the purity of the SN that I'm going to use, the lab said >= 98.5%. Can anyone tell me if they purchased on a Polish website called A….o pl their SN? Because that's where my SN comes from.
I am still glad that I tried with all my strength to give life another chance, but I am even more glad that it is possible to get out of this nightmare.
Moreover, although unintentionally, these months I have been very detached from friends and relatives and thinking about it was better that way.
Although I realized how frivolous and temporary all emotions are, since my uncle committed suicide in March and everyone forgot about it in a short time and have resumed their lives. makes me think. does it really make sense to worry about all this? and then one life less really counts so much? or is it just a number?
in any case in a few hours I will find out what awaits me, and that's all I'm waiting for. I would like to hear your opinions on it in the short time that remains
Nihilism
Update: just mixed SN with water. The color is transparent with a slight hint of yellow
 

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A

Aprilfarewell4

Mage
Apr 9, 2024
557
Update: just mixed SN with water. The color is transparent with a slight hint of yellow
Is that 2 servings in one glass? It looks like a lot of fluid. It's going to be okay. You're not alone. I'm going too, as have others, and so will others. Peace now, and always.
 
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nihilism__

Member
Jul 12, 2024
57
Is that 2 servings in one glass? It looks like a lot of fluid. It's going to be okay. You're not alone. I'm going too, as have others, and so will others. Peace now, and always.
no actually is 25 grams and only 70 ml of water. Maybe it's perspective I don't know 😅. Anyways I have only prepared the cups, and in half an hour I should be taking paracetamol
Thank you for your kind words❤️
 
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A

Aprilfarewell4

Mage
Apr 9, 2024
557
no actually is 25 grams and only 70 ml of water. Maybe it's perspective I don't know 😅. Anyways I have only prepared the cups, and in half an hour I should be taking paracetamol
Yes it's probably a perspective thing. It just looks like a lot of fluid from here. It's going to be all right. You are incredibly brave and you are not alone.
 
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nihilism__

Member
Jul 12, 2024
57
Yes it's probably a perspective thing. It just looks like a lot of fluid from here. It's going to be all right. You are incredibly brave and you are not alone.
I prepared 3 cups (2 with 25 g and one with 40 g because who knows, so ur partially right tho🧐). One thing is certain, the smell is strong af
Title. Last few days I wasn't active at all, I'm sorry if I didn't respond to dms and private chats but I tried to do my best to give life a second chance (and it's not my first time doing that)
I started my fast 1 hour ago, gonna drink 500 ml of water in 3 hours and then fast again for another 4 hours.
Recap of the plan:
Fast 8 hours (500 ml of water total)
Take 1000 mg of paracetamol at 5am (500 mgX2)
Take 6 pills of maalox at 5:30 am (5mg metoclopramide X6) with a little bit of water
Drink 25 grams of SN mixed with 75 ml of water at 6am. I'll prepare another 2 cups beforehand in case I vomit my first drink.
I haven't texted the purity of the SN that I'm going to use, the lab said >= 98.5%. Can anyone tell me if they purchased on a Polish website called A….o pl their SN? Because that's where my SN comes from.
I am still glad that I tried with all my strength to give life another chance, but I am even more glad that it is possible to get out of this nightmare.
Moreover, although unintentionally, these months I have been very detached from friends and relatives and thinking about it was better that way.
Although I realized how frivolous and temporary all emotions are, since my uncle committed suicide in March and everyone forgot about it in a short time and have resumed their lives. makes me think. does it really make sense to worry about all this? and then one life less really counts so much? or is it just a number?
in any case in a few hours I will find out what awaits me, and that's all I'm waiting for. I would like to hear your opinions on it in the short time that remains
Nihilism
Update: took 1000 mg of paracetamol.
Yes it's probably a perspective thing. It just looks like a lot of fluid from here. It's going to be all right. You are incredibly brave and you are not alone.
Update: just taken 6 pills of Maalox nausea (total 30 mg meto) diluted in 60 ml of water.
 
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VeryShy

VeryShy

Seriously disabled due to autism and schizophrenia
Jun 21, 2024
421
Whatever situation happens for you, I wish you that somehow you find eternal peace.
 
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dreamcatcher90

dreamcatcher90

Member
Aug 3, 2024
91
He posted on his other thread he drank the SN and hasn't been online since. Most likely ctb.
Last post was about preparing taking other medications and only preparing the cups. Thought the person is still with us. Wish they could tell us how it feels after taking sn. I wonder can they or just become very dizzy instantly.
Hopefully, he found peace.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
10,454
Good luck! I hope you find peace!
 
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S

Soupster

Student
Aug 14, 2024
101
His last message was,

"Took the SN. There's no going back

strangely enough I'm fine, my heart started racing for the first minute and now everything is stable? What should I expect?"

After that he went silent. I hope he's at peace now and had no trouble or pain.
 
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D

DOHARDTHINGS24

Student
Apr 30, 2024
163
His last message was,

"Took the SN. There's no going back

strangely enough I'm fine, my heart started racing for the first minute and now everything is stable? What should I expect?"

After that he went silent. I hope he's at peace now and had no trouble or pain.
Thanks for sharing.
Any more updates anywhere?
Or do we assume success?
This is the strangest feeling - wishing someone else success. Before joining here, I would never have thought that possible. With every success I see here, I feel a really deep sadness, a mini-grief for strangers. And then happiness for them. Peace for them. Even a mini-joy. And then hope for me. And then more sadness. A rollercoaster & merry - go - round & a complete headfuck.
There should be a word to sum all that up.
 
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andreamysk

andreamysk

Student
Jun 29, 2024
127
[...]
There should be a word to sum all that up.
Not exactly the word we are looking for, but the Japanese expression "Mono no aware" (lit. 'the pathos of things') which expresses a multiplicity of emotions, simultaneously the sadness for the transitoriness of everything and the gentle acceptance/contemplation of this process, could be somewhat relevant.

The last online activity of the OP seems to date back to today at 5:47 AM...
 
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Ramsay Fiction

Ramsay Fiction

Soulburner
Aug 15, 2024
42
" does it really make sense to worry about all this? and then one life less really counts so much? or is it just a number?"

Life goes on after we're gone, no matter what. Good for it. The feelings of the people I'll leave behind matter none to me, cuz who is even left to remember?

If you're gone I hope you found peace.
 
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