3xhilarati0n
broken mind
- Jan 10, 2025
- 12
Hi everyone, my name is 3xhilarati0n.
I would like to create my own diary here. A journal of sorts. I've never been any good at actual journaling, so maybe writing these posts on here will be more helpful / more my style.
My laptop sounds like a fucking meat grinder, I think the fan is broken. It's super distracting, but I'm going to try and write up something of substance regardless.
I've decided that I'm going to try to get better. I want to at least try. I want to try to give existence another real chance.
Everyday I will set myself small goals and document my progress. I will also document what I liked and disliked about each day.
It will be hard. It's going to be unbelievably fucking hard, but I'm going to try. Because somewhere along the way I've stopped trying to dig myself out of this hole. I've stopped taking care of myself.
I wanted to CTB badly the day before yesterday. But it's a good thing I didn't.
I also want to stress, that I don't say this to undermine anyone else's choice. I believe everyone chooses what's best for them. Whether that's CTB or an attempt at recovery.
It's just that at this point in time, I don't believe CTB would've been the right choice for me.
Honestly I'm really tired. My head feels heavy, my lumpy body not willing to move easily.
But I'm going to try and take this one day at a time.
I would like to create my own diary here. A journal of sorts. I've never been any good at actual journaling, so maybe writing these posts on here will be more helpful / more my style.
My laptop sounds like a fucking meat grinder, I think the fan is broken. It's super distracting, but I'm going to try and write up something of substance regardless.
I've decided that I'm going to try to get better. I want to at least try. I want to try to give existence another real chance.
Everyday I will set myself small goals and document my progress. I will also document what I liked and disliked about each day.
It will be hard. It's going to be unbelievably fucking hard, but I'm going to try. Because somewhere along the way I've stopped trying to dig myself out of this hole. I've stopped taking care of myself.
I wanted to CTB badly the day before yesterday. But it's a good thing I didn't.
I also want to stress, that I don't say this to undermine anyone else's choice. I believe everyone chooses what's best for them. Whether that's CTB or an attempt at recovery.
It's just that at this point in time, I don't believe CTB would've been the right choice for me.
Honestly I'm really tired. My head feels heavy, my lumpy body not willing to move easily.
But I'm going to try and take this one day at a time.
