2022 has got to be my year to go bye bye

[Lost Magic]

My depression and anxiety is crippling. I have no family left, no friends (not close by anyway). The festive holidays were lonely and sad and I am bored with it all. Covid is the norm, society still sucks and I have lost any kind of hope for recovery or meaningful change. I have all the stuff I need to ctb, thanks to this site and the Peaceful Pill Handbook. This isn't a goodbye note (not yet anyway) but just more of a thank you to all you guys! I am sad that the media and government have been snooping around here lately and putting pressure on everybody to tone it down. I think it is bad for freedom of expression. You need to stay strong through all of this because this forum is worth fighting for. It has kept me going through the years. I am truly grateful for all the support and kindness I have received. Peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

This life can be very depressing and it can be dreadful when everything is hopeless. I can imagine it must be a relief to have everything you need to ctb. I wish you the best and when the time is right for you to leave, I hope you find peace.

 

[Mixo]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I am not particularly positive about 2022 either. As soon as I think maybe things will get better, reality starts pressing down hard on my psyche. I wish I knew what words to offer. But you're not alone in this feeling.

 

[Crazy4u]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I am not particularly positive about 2022 either. As soon as I think maybe things will get better, reality starts pressing down hard on my psyche. I wish I knew what words to offer. But you're not alone in this feeling.

+ same. stay strong Paul. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best

 

[Kennish]

I hope 2022 will be my last year also. I have little hope of getting better Psychical and mentally.

 

[bunnyhope]

i hope u can feel peace my dear

 

[ForeverLonely82]

My depression and anxiety is crippling. I have no family left, no friends (not close by anyway). The festive holidays were lonely and sad and I am bored with it all. Covid is the norm, society still sucks and I have lost any kind of hope for recovery or meaningful change. I have all the stuff I need to ctb, thanks to this site and the Peaceful Pill Handbook. This isn't a goodbye note (not yet anyway) but just more of a thank you to all you guys! I am sad that the media and government have been snooping around here lately and putting pressure on everybody to tone it down. I think it is bad for freedom of expression. You need to stay strong through all of this because this forum is worth fighting for. It has kept me going through the years. I am truly grateful for all the support and kindness I have received. Peace.

I am disability for the same reason. Everyone gets pissed at me because I show no signs of being happy at all (because I'm not). I shut down from stress and become a lunatic when I have anxiety attacks because there is no way to control my anxiousness of life. I have no friends and lonely (yes, the name checks out) and I too would also CTB but I'm a coward, don't have the courage to go away. However seeing how I'm morbidly obese..maybe I don't have long to go before my broken, blackened heart quits beating.

I am truly sorry you feel this way ,but believe it or not I can relate. I am 39 years old and dealt with these feelings since the age of 5, I remember just feeling really sad and crying in my room while trying to play with my toys and of course the mother of mine who lacks empathy in every sense of the word would say "Stop Crying, there is nothing to be sad about" we all have our inner demons and some do more destruction than others. If you do decide to CTB, I wish you a safe journey.

 

[Lost Magic]

I am disability for the same reason. Everyone gets pissed at me because I show no signs of being happy at all (because I'm not). I shut down from stress and become a lunatic when I have anxiety attacks because there is no way to control my anxiousness of life. I have no friends and lonely (yes, the name checks out) and I too would also CTB but I'm a coward, don't have the courage to go away. However seeing how I'm morbidly obese..maybe I don't have long to go before my broken, blackened heart quits beating.

I am truly sorry you feel this way ,but believe it or not I can relate. I am 39 years old and dealt with these feelings since the age of 5, I remember just feeling really sad and crying in my room while trying to play with my toys and of course the mother of mine who lacks empathy in every sense of the word would say "Stop Crying, there is nothing to be sad about" we all have our inner demons and some do more destruction than others. If you do decide to CTB, I wish you a safe journey.

Yeah, I totally get everything you just said and I am terribly sorry that you have felt this way for so long, me too. You mentioned feeling sad since you where a child. I remember being 8 years old and saying to my elderly uncle (who lost most of his family members in a car crash), what is this life all about? And he just quietly replied: 'I have often asked myself that question many times myself.' He was a very kind and strong person. So, I'm done. By the way, I gained a fair bit of weight myself lately but I am losing it again because I want to be lighter for catching the bus lol. The only thing that keeps me going now is the fact that I will soon no longer exist. I want to write a new post, soon, about giving up worldly attachments. That will, of course, be a journey in itself because that's all I know. Thanks for your kind words.