Venting 2 weeks to go. And I don't really feel anything

[Unsure_about_living]

Got my SN. And some antacid and a couple lorazepam left. No antiemetics but I think I'll take my chances.

Nearly 6 months ago I promised myself if I still wanted to die in 6 months time, I'd be allowed. That falls 2 weeks today, on 24th May. The whole "waiting 6 months" thing is kind of moot anyway because I've already attempted in the meantime. But still, I feel I've given it a good go now.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow. She knows about the SN, and doesn't seem too concerned. I feel like telling her my plans is basically just saying "please save me", when I don't think I want to be saved. I think maybe it's just hard to keep big things like this to myself. And if I tell people one more time, and still they do nothing, then I can stop feeling guilty for leaving this life.

I don't know. I just want the thoughts to be quiet.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Don´t tell your shrink anything suicide related there´s no upside.

 

[Vault of Memories]

I'm kind of curious as to why she knows you have the SN and hasn't done anything.

 

[Unsure_about_living]

I'm kind of curious as to why she knows you have the SN and hasn't done anything.

NHS doesn't have enough resources to care I suppose

 

[miguel6565]

NHS doesn't have enough resources to care I suppose

She should have called police or atleast that what i thought the process was like

 

[Slow85]

She should have called police or atleast that what i thought the process was like

We can all have implants to kill ourselves At home I guess ? Knives / ropes / medication - I guesS if the psych doesn't know you have a 'plan' you wouldn't be deemed a risk ? Which is of course ridiculous because why else would you have the SN?

Do you think your psych knows what SN is?

 

[miguel6565]

We can all have implants to kill ourselves At home I guess ? Knives / ropes / medication - I guesS if the psych doesn't know you have a 'plan' you wouldn't be deemed a risk ? Which is of course ridiculous because why else would you have the SN?

Do you think your psych knows what SN is?

I mean,if you tell you have a suicide plan in my country they lock you in a mental hospital,if you have strong thoughts of hurting yourself or others they will lock you and force you to take meds,etc..

 

[Slow85]

I mean,if you tell you have a suicide plan in my country they lock you in a mental hospital,if you have strong thoughts of hurting yourself or others they will lock you and force you to take meds,etc..

Where abouts are you?

They don't act that way in the U.K. unfortunately (for some who want help , not those who don't )

Many people are left without help or with the 'help' of the crisis team......when they need more intense care .
They have a thing in the U.K. about managing risk in the community - but it's not really working

 

[miguel6565]

Where abouts are you?

They don't act that way in the U.K. unfortunately (for some who want help , not those who don't )

Many people are left without help or with the 'help' of the crisis team......when they need more intense care .
They have a thing in the U.K. about managing risk in the community - but it's not really working

Im from spain and i recently discover that from each way of thinking is a protocol,if you have just sadness is just talking to a psych,if ideas of death but not strong/or common,therapy,if you have a suicide plan,notes they will lock and alert family to control you,so as you can see we treated as if we were crazy when i just want peace

PD:here they dont care also,recently i finally ask for help and they just told me to take meds and goodluck,we will call you eventualy,i discovered i was diagnostised a fobic,anxiety,depression syntom while ago and never notified me of that.

i guess i just wanted some peace that xanax is bringing but not to get better,just some peace wille i ctb

 

[Lutembëe]

Same for me. My psychiatrist knows that I have SN, she doesn't seem to care except that she fears she will be sued if I'm dead lol.

I feel you OP, we are on the same boat.

 

[Unsure_about_living]

Update: told the psychiatrist about my last 6 months. So she knows I've decided I'm "allowed" to kill myself soon. She did offer some extra help. But I just can't see myself surviving, stuck in the house alone, with literally nothing to look forward to