2 hours sleep, barely any food, no naps, no microsleeps, im dying

[nosoul]

I am lucid, I'm being realistic, I have a fatal type insomnia and a fatal lack of hunger.

Today is a full day but I feel like I'm gonna collapse.

Not being able to eat, sleep, nap AT ALL. I'm breaking down, I need this to end.

Just panic attacks when trying to rest, I can't go on. Everyone I say this to including insomniacs, they claim the same thing, there is no way, I'm really devastated, I feel bed ridden from fatigue and low calories, pure doom

 

[chr74]

something like trazodone or mirtazapine should help you sleep?

 

[nosoul]

I'm seeing doctor today, yeah the klonopin was not effective, but I have no ability to nap or eat, this is like a serious torture I brought upon myself.

getting meds today hopefully, I'm dying, insomniacs at least get micro sleep and can eat, I'm struggling with both, I can't believe this is happening, I can barely walk a few blocks on days like this

 

[voc_89]

I had an ex-girlfriend who had insomnia. Pretty bad as well. I tried as much as possible to visit and spend time with her especially in the night (it was a long distance relationship). I think that helped. Cause she always seemed to fall asleep when she was in my arms. Idk if that is something that helps with insomnia (that is, having someone you in love with be there with you in bed at night). Its a bit of a long shot yes but I empathise with you as I was close with someone with the same issue. And this was the only thing during my time with her that appeared to help

 

[chr74]

try to get on the right meds asap, i know its rough but meds like trazodone and mirtazapine work fast so dont worry u wont be waiting weeks for it to be effective

 

[nosoul]

I had an ex-girlfriend who had insomnia. Pretty bad as well. I tried as much as possible to visit and spend time with her especially in the night (it was a long distance relationship). I think that helped. Cause she always seemed to fall asleep when she was in my arms. Idk if that is something that helps with insomnia (that is, having someone you in love with be there with you in bed at night). Its a bit of a long shot yes but I empathise with you as I was close with someone with the same issue. And this was the only thing during my time with her that appeared to help

I sleep with my loving dog, but no help. Thank you for advice, but this is insane to me,how I somehow broke 2 keys to life, sleeping and eating, I've not eaten well for weeks now. Zero ability to nap, eating without sleep, feel compelled to ctb, this is not living.

Please wish me well, I'm terrified at the rate I'm wasting away. It is the end soon, need my supplies and it needs to work. I hate my condition compells me to ctb, and I'm emotionally dulled

 

[voc_89]

try to get on the right meds asap, i know its rough but meds like trazodone and mirtazapine work fast so dont worry u wont be waiting weeks for it to be effective

I empathise. My advice was a bit of a long shot but my ex shared alot of your sentiments (she had a cat instead of a dog though lol). The last time I was like this (when I wasn't eating and was numb) I went home for a bit and spent 2 weeks with my father and my official step-mom. They helped to make me feel loved. Cared for and essentially pulled me from the ledge. But my case is different from yours as I was basically going through PTSD and battling anxiety attacks. As chr74 said, you need to get your meds quickly. If not, while I know its not best and could be terrifying, you could consider going to a hospital (at least to help get something to help you rest and maybe help you forge a plan/program that would help to continue to do so in the medium-term). Long-term, a solid relationship could help with the main issues behind your insomnia (I would like to think that was the case for the 2 years I was with my ex). In the interim, I hope that things improve greatly for you over the course of the day. If anything, I planned to continue to be online for the next hour and a half. Then I have to address something urgent for the next 2/3 hours. Then I will be back where I will spend the rest of the day in the forums... edit: I responded to the wrong comment... sorry... new here

 

[conflagration]

Yeah, try mirtazapine: it can help you sleep and gain weight as it makes you super hungry and slows down your metabolism.
Insomnia is a nightmare, if I will someday die by my own hand it would be probably because of insomnia.

 

[nosoul]

Thank you for advice and support, I've never experienced anything like this, and deep down I know it is real bad, I'm gonna try to get meds and sleep.

But I need meds just to nap, oh God this is really the end and it sucks, my dogs sleep 13 hours while I lay down with no sleep, then I can barely walk them.

I empathise. My advice was a bit of a long shot but my ex shared alot of your sentiments (she had a cat instead of a dog though lol). The last time I was like this (when I wasn't eating and was numb) I went home for a bit and spent 2 weeks with my father and my official step-mom. They helped to make me feel loved. Cared for and essentially pulled me from the ledge. But my case is different from yours as I was basically going through PTSD and battling anxiety attacks. As chr74 said, you need to get your meds quickly. If not, while I know its not best and could be terrifying, you could consider going to a hospital (at least to help get something to help you rest and maybe help you forge a plan/program that would help to continue to do so in the medium-term). Long-term, a solid relationship could help with the main issues behind your insomnia (I would like to think that was the case for the 2 years I was with my ex). In the interim, I hope that things improve greatly for you over the course of the day. If anything, I planned to continue to be online for the next hour and a half. Then I have to address something urgent for the next 2/3 hours. Then I will be back where I will spend the rest of the day in the forums... edit: I responded to the wrong comment... sorry... new here

Noone will take me in in my family, they assume because I have ssd u will be OK, but I'm truly wasting away, thank you though, I wish I had my ctb supplies. I'm tempted to do it now even with my crap everywhere and dogs not placed. I'm so so exhausted.

Like insomniacs will say I got 2 hours for years, bit they can eat and they are getting micro sleep, I literally just get a few drug induced hours, dmt turned my brain on all the time and it's fading, I face alot of confusion, it's so bad.

Thank you though,it will be a struggle to get to doctor and pharmacy today which are simple tasks.

There was a case of fatal insomnia I saw on YouTube, it was caused by antibiotics, I am feeling similar to him and they mentioned sedatives didn't even work. I've prob eaten 1000 calories the last 2 days and that is trying to eat. I don't know all, I need out, sad to say, eating without sleep is also terrible on my body, usually people get hungrier with insomnia:(

 

[AshClouds]

try to get on the right meds asap, i know its rough but meds like trazodone and mirtazapine work fast so dont worry u wont be waiting weeks for it to be effective

I'd go with this suggestion. For me personally, I found that cannabis works really well. Although its not for everyone and its not legal everywhere

 

[nosoul]

I'd go with this suggestion. For me personally, I found that cannabis works really well. Although its not for everyone and its not legal everywhere

Cannabis now has no effect on my brain, I used to love cannabis. I hope people aren't thinking I'm having a manic episode, I'm not, I really am unable to eat and rest and it's honestly destroying me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Severe insomnia really sounds so horrific, it must be extremely tiring feeling trapped in that situation of endless suffering, I hope that if possible you find relief from what you are going through.

 

[voc_89]

i just got back home. Wanted to follow up and check-in to see if you got some sort of relief. If not please seek some help. It may not be my place to say that but I care and I am hoping for the best for you.

 

[nosoul]

i just got back home. Wanted to follow up and check-in to see if you got some sort of relief. If not please seek some help. It may not be my place to say that but I care and I am hoping for the best for you.

Thank you, I got some medication, as far as if it will help, I'm not too hopeful, just drug me to sleep, and side effects of Depakote trazidone and klonopin worry me. But have no choice in near term to take them. Still have no hunger, but psych thinks these meds will stimulate hunger. I honestly still want out, this life of meds and the damage to brain is not for me

 

[voc_89]

first off, I am glad you took some steps to get some relief. I hope the program is effecitve for you. I won't pretend to understand that I know the pain that you are experiencing. But I know how it feels like to be helpless. All I can do is lend a listening ear and try to offer tidbits now and again. Take care (gonna leave you for a bit to rest but please reach out again if anything).

 

[AzulLightningBerg]

I am lucid, I'm being realistic, I have a fatal type insomnia and a fatal lack of hunger.

Today is a full day but I feel like I'm gonna collapse.

Not being able to eat, sleep, nap AT ALL. I'm breaking down, I need this to end.

Just panic attacks when trying to rest, I can't go on. Everyone I say this to including insomniacs, they claim the same thing, there is no way, I'm really devastated, I feel bed ridden from fatigue and low calories, pure doom

I had pretty rough insomnia too, Sleep paralysis and nightmares. I've found having a full size body pillow to wrap around helps somewhat, or a stuffed animal. Weighted blankets and sleepy time tea help as well. If you drink caffeine maybe try cutting that down some.

 

[Letgo]

Are you feeling better?

 

[nosoul]

Not really just going through the motions, got some meds that will numb me out but I've taken these before, it will make me more likely to ctb, I'm damaged goods, feel like there is no hope, I get no enjoyment and can feel no emotion. Like is so gray I hate it, I would love it if I was healthy but brain is fried, about to get more fried on psych meds

 

[Letgo]

I will be thinking of you. Hopefully meds help you get some sleep.

 

[nosoul]

Thank you, I got some trazadone and klonopin today so should get some sleep but my appetite is non existent, I'm really fucked, I don't want to suffer amymore.

 

[Letgo]

I hear you.

 

[nosoul]

I'd go with this suggestion. For me personally, I found that cannabis works really well. Although its not for everyone and its not legal everywhere

I got some trazadone today, my serotonin I assume is depleted but I read it can cause serotonin syndrome?

I think I'm just extending the doom, but I look forward to sleeping tonight at least, hoping not to wake up of course:) it is worse knowing my former friends, they are rich and have families, while I will die an early death. Should of would of could I guess. Feeling totally hallow, even hugging my dogs I can't feel the warmth I used to:( I think others damaged by meds and drugs understand. Even winning the lottery, it would not solve my health problems sadly.

 

[qwerty1969]

I am feeling similar to you but additionally I have constant horrific dreams when I do sleep. The Olazapine doesn't do anything to relieve the stress I am suffering. 24 hours feels like an eternity.

 

[nosoul]

I am feeling similar to you but additionally I have constant horrific dreams when I do sleep. The Olazapine doesn't do anything to relieve the stress I am suffering. 24 hours feels like an eternity.

Exactly,I took it a long time ago. Do you feel emotionless from it, also caused crazy weight gain.

 

[qwerty1969]

Exactly,I took it a long time ago. Do you feel emotionless from it, also caused crazy weight gain.

Not sure what I feel except I feel like I am going crazy. I simply want to die asap.

 

[annxietty]

This sounds horrible, so much suffering, Im glad to read you got some meds to help you tho, Ive been using trazodone for some time, my psychiatrist told me to use it every night but Ive been using it only when I cant sleep, now it doesnt have any effect on me, it doesnt make me sleep at all, but the first times I used it It would make me fall unconscious very quickly, I hope it helps you, meds can be scary.

 

[nonialabaster]

something like trazodone or mirtazapine should help you sleep?

My husband took Mirtazapine the last year he was alive. He'd always had terrible insomnia, but the first week he took it, he was out like a light after about ten minutes and managed his first six-hours straight in years. Increased his appetite, too. he insisted it be included in his hospice regimen.

 

[nosoul]

Not sure what I feel except I feel like I am going crazy. I simply want to die asap.

I feel this exact emotion now,I can't focus on anything entertaining, like stimulation makes me nervous, I'd like to ctb before it really gets worse, because it's not getting better. Instead of hugs, I'd more appreciate bullets to the head:) sorry to be so grim. Can't watch YouTube or anything, just gonna take pills and sleep for tonight. Scared to try new meds, I hate this, I'm breaking down and I have Noone to support me:( I hope to feel better after some sleep, I can't even imagine a better future sadly.