1st world problems

[Kerock]

I come from a well off immigrant family, so being poor/dealing with social services has never been an issue for me. I honestly feel hella spoiled being able to browse through SaSu in my bed with my phone and/or laptop. I'm not materialistic nor really consumeristic. Just waiting till my dad leaves to a different state for work while I stay behind for college. I wonder if my parents never moved from their original country, maybe I wouldave had the zeal and ambitions for better things and actually do something with my life instead of being hedonistic and degenerating. Somebody accidentally gave me 465$. And I gave it back because 465$ isn't much to me and they obviously need more than I do because of rent. I have never worked a day in my life and I live with my parents rent free. It's a weird dichotomy of healing from past trauma with said parent by staying still and stagnant, even more trauma appears because of parents, do weird and degenerate shit to take the edge off, slowly go back to my staying still and stagnant state to heal. Rinse and repeat. Weird as it sounds but wish I wasn't born wealthy. Wished my parents were forced to kick me out and make something of myself instead of accommodating me. In the end I just need to stop being a bitch and grow some balls to CTB instead of sitting around all day.

 

[TeflonMummy]

Whatever suffering you have to go through is irrelevant to your material conditions. You will still feel that pain no matter if you are poor or rich, it doesn't require a justification. I understand in an effort to make meaning of your pain you've compared it to other people's. It's true that they may hurt more or less than you, and you may be more advantaged than they are. It doesn't make your pain however any less. Every emotion you experience has validity to it, by denying these emotions you are only isolating yourself further from who you are. Sometimes our suffering is meaningless or has a reason so nebulous its impossible to comprehend. It's only a consequence of the insanity of this world. I wish you the best of luck in finding peace to yourself in whatever method you choose. Good luck <3

 

[bjop]

I may not be able to relate to you and your family's exact situation but i understand this feeling of guilt, having certain privileges in life and wondering why it doesn't seem enough for yourself to be happy or satisfied enough with it.
However, as mentioned above this, your suffering is real and legitimate whatever your circumstances are. It's real because you feel it and live it. You don't deserve to beat yourself up for your own pain when you already have to deal with it. Please don't punish yourself for your torment.
I hope you'll allow yourself kindness in your next steps.
Take care