??

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

I dislike how people will tell others things will get better but in fact things got worse and nothing changed. I want them to understand that they haven't been in anyone else's shoes but they can share similar events. We are just living in eternal hell.

 

[Darkover]

is not the case some people life could get just like it is the case it could get worse
especially if your problems are fixable like a relationship breakup and moving onto a new relationship
i can understand if they have physical health problems or mental ill health that can't be treated

 

[CW36]

Yes, patronising.

 

[FuneralCry]

I cannot stand those toxic positivity platitudes, they are just so incredibly insensitive to me, saying life will certainly improve in a world where there is unlimited potential to suffer endlessly really is just nonsensical, people who say things like that shouldn't be listened to in my opinion.

 

[アホペンギン]

Yes, i agree with you. Without them being aware of your suffering they assume that everything will get better. Its sickening how people constantly try reassuring you with their banalities without knowing that, in fact, nothing will change in your favor. I feel that the only reason for existence is to please others so you really have no say over what happens to you unless someone else approves of it.

 

[day]

I remember when crying for help almost everyone responded with "yea that's how the world is it sucks". It made such an imprint on me that the only way to truly be better is to CTB.

The world is so meaningless and existence is so futile.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Hello @Psychedelics,

First of all, thanks for sharing your feelings
This topic is very important to me, too.

I think, some people actually know sometimes things won't get better and still throw such a platitude at you. It's a strategic choice which I'll elaborate below.

This is just my theory, but I think such people just want to show off their virtue. First, they are positive - they believe in you and give you "reassurance" saying "it will get better if you work hard enough." Then, when they see you're still struggling, they blame you for not trying hard enough.
And in my experience, when they can't defend their platitudes, they simply go away.
They just don't want to be considered to be "cold" people. But interesting point is - they are actually cruel when they think you're "lazy," because according to their "virtue", you should be condemned when you are "bad" person. They act like a judge.

I dislike how people will tell others things will get better but in fact things got worse and nothing changed.

At least for me, platitudes and empty promises make me feel like they don't care about us, or even they think I don't deserve care. When everybody around you do this, it becomes a dangerous gaslighting which convince you don't deserve care, and even make you think they're better off without you.

I want them to understand that they haven't been in anyone else's shoes but they can share similar events. We are just living in eternal hell.

They might to try to understand "innocent" people who suffer, because showing understanding to "hard-working" people serves their purpose - they want to present themselves as paragons of virtue - but when it's too difficult for them, they simply disappear.

But, yes, they might change their mind when they suffer predicaments like us.

But now you are on this forum, where people are truly caring - so you know you deserve care. Their hypocrisy has been revealed. They might be able to earn a reputation of being compassionate outside this forum, but not here - we have many insightful people, so we can see truth.

Thanks for reading, And please let me know if you have different views.
and I hope your days will be a bit less unbearable

LoiteringClouds

Edit: corrected grammatical mistakes.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It irritates me too. My Dad will even promise me sometimes that things will get better. Seems like a strange thing to promise! Sometimes I wonder if that's what they tell themselves. Maybe they found that a positive attitude served them better than a pessimistic one. In which case- maybe it's their way of trying to help. Still- I don't believe it's something you can impose on someone. They have to be open to thinking that way themselves.

The more cynical view is that- whatever the problem is- they don't REALLY want to hear about it anymore! And they either can't help or- don't want to. The whole- 'Things will work their way out in the end, things will get better' is a way to get someone to stop talking about whatever it is bothering them- when you think about it.