Story 12 Years Late

[12_Years_Late]

As far as I can remember, I have always wondered, "Isn't there ever going to be a better life than this?"

Let me start by saying that I have never been very fond of any aspect of life. In fact, there is very little in this world that I have ever had even a slight interest in doing. I decided a long time ago that if this is what my life would be like, then I would try to make the best of it.

The past several weeks have convinced me that my time is coming soon. I will CTB several days from now. After a lot of time and thought, I will choose a train for my CTB method. There's a train track just a few minutes away from where I live, so at night I'll lay on it and let the wheels do the work. I'm not worried about it.

Part of what has stemmed all this is my extreme dislike of inflatable bounce houses. The invention is so illogical, it has only been around for 65 years (not long enough for humans to adapt to it), and I refuse to ever go on one EVER again. Two weeks ago was the twelve-year anniversary of the last time I was ever on one. I swore to myself that I would end my life before ever going on one again, and I am going to hold my word.

I also have a fixation on very obscure songs and historical moments. On AmIRight, a song parody website, this is something I have done in recent months under several pseudonyms.

Will I be missed when I am gone? I don't feel that way. I have no reservations about leaving this world and I am all set at this point. I will wait just a few days more, and then I'll be ready.

My favorite quote: "I look forward to the day of my death the way some folks do for their wedding night." by Carl Panzram.

Methods attempted:
5-30-22: Tried to hang myself on a hook on a ceiling.

11-24-22: Drank 2/3rds a bottle of isopropyl alcohol. Was sick for three days, did not go to a hospital.

6-3-23: Stood near train tracks for 2 hours, but no train had come.

6-9-23: Drank isopropyl alcohol and hydrochloric acid, was unconscious for 20 hours.

Hope to share my final days alive with you all on this site.

 

[MrDarkness]

When you pass I'll make sure to remember you and your story, I'll soon pass maybe a year, a month from now idk.

 

[12_Years_Late]

Thank you. You'll have more time on this planet than me, so make the most of it!

 

[𖣂𖣂𖣂.]

Wish you best. Your story is something I won't forget about.

 

[12_Years_Late]

"Let's be thankful," as my favorite song title goes. Your comment is greatly appreciated!

 

[FuneralCry]

I've also always disliked existing and it must had been awful going through those failed attempts, failing ctb is exactly what I fear. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans and I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[12_Years_Late]

Thank you. And the failed attempts weren't awful, really, they were very manageable for me. They are the ones where I was truly committed to doing it.

 

[12_Years_Late]

Will use a train for this method on or about Friday, June 30th. I will make my final post on this site in this thread.