Hercules
Arcanist
- Jan 31, 2021
- 408
I have been suicidal for about 2 years. Here are some stupid things that people have said to me. I'm sure most of them meant well, but I find these sayings to be unhelpful, and they make me feel worse.
1. Life is beautiful.
Why would you even say this to a suicidal person? Obviously if someone is seriously thinking of suicide, their life is not beautiful.
2.Why do you want to commit suicide? You are such a beautiful/ nice person.
Gee, thank-you. I feel so much better. I really am a nice person, but that doesn't change anything. I especially love it when people I barely know and who no nothing about me say this.
3.Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
This is a mixed bag. There is some truth in this. it is true that some problems are temporary and could be solved with time. However, there are a lot of problems that are permanent and don't have a practical solution.
4. Hang in there. Things will get better.
You have a crystal ball and can see the future? This isn't a 30 minute sitcom. In real life, things don't always get better. Sometimes a persons situation only gets worse no matter what they do.
5. A lot of people have it worse problems than you.
Yes, a lot of people do have it worde than me. That doesn't make my situation any easier. Thank-you for completely dismissing my problems/invalidating my feelings/ and making me feel more isolated than I already do.
6. If you commit suicide, won't your family and friends miss you/ be devestated?
Why would you say this to a suicidal person? Everyone doesn't have a large/close knit support network of family and friends they can count on. Some people have very Toxic/ abusive families. Some people's families could care less if they drop dead. Reminding a suicidal person that no one cares about them will only make them feel worse/encourage them to commit suicide.
7. Suicide is the easy way out.
No. Suicide isn't the easy way out. Suicide is the hardest thing someone will ever do. Deep down people don't want to die. Facing your own mortality is hard. Deliberately taking your own life before your time is even harder.
Many people struggle with suicidal thoughts for years. They don't really want to die. They want their Pain and suffering to stop. They finally kill themselves when they become desperate enough.
8. You don't have to kill yourself. You can get help.
well it depends on what your problems are. Some people are able to get help and that's great. Other people may have been desperately seeking- even begging for help for years and are unable to get the help they need No matter how hard they try. The world is a cold and cruel place. No one wants to help anyone out anymore.
9. You are being so selfish. Think of how your family/friends will suffer if you commit suicide. They are the real victim.
No. People who commit suicide are not being selfish. They have had something traumatic happen to them and are suffering unbearable emotional or physical pain. They are at the end of their rope and can no longer cope. They have given up all hope and are desperate. They are the victim. They are the one who is dead. If their family/ friends really cared about them, they should have taken the time to talk to them or visit them. They should have tried to help them with their problems instead of being so self absorbed in their own life.
10. You're suicidal? I'll pray for you.
Most people who say this probably mean well. If they believe in a God, then why shouldn't they pray for him to help you? They probably think that they are helping you. I personally don't have a problem with this. What gets me is that they will tell you they will pray for you and then just leave. It would be great if they would talk to you about your problems and give you some practical advise or give you some practical help along with the prayer.
11. If you commit suicide you will automaticallly go to hell.
People who commit suicide are not bad people. They are people who have been given more problems than they can bear. They are suffering unbearable emotional/physical pain. They can no longer cope. They have no hope that things will get better and are desperate. whether or not God will really send them to hell is not even the point. It is beyond cruel to tell a suicidal person with a religious background that they will go to hell. First you have no way of knowing that that is the case. Second to tell that to someone who is suffering emotional pain so bad that they are actually coinsidering suicide and delibertality adding to their pain and giving them something else to worry about is just wrong. It is cruel. It doesn't help. If they are so worried about you, why don't they do something practical to help? They clearly have no idea the mental torture a suicidal person lives through every day or they wouldn't say this.
12. God will never give a person more than he can bear.
With all due respect to God, this is simply not true. No one is born suicidal. Normally people don't want to die. The SI is too strong. Everyone who commits suicide was given a lot more than they could bear in life. That is why they committed suicide. They could no longer cope.
1. Life is beautiful.
Why would you even say this to a suicidal person? Obviously if someone is seriously thinking of suicide, their life is not beautiful.
2.Why do you want to commit suicide? You are such a beautiful/ nice person.
Gee, thank-you. I feel so much better. I really am a nice person, but that doesn't change anything. I especially love it when people I barely know and who no nothing about me say this.
3.Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
This is a mixed bag. There is some truth in this. it is true that some problems are temporary and could be solved with time. However, there are a lot of problems that are permanent and don't have a practical solution.
4. Hang in there. Things will get better.
You have a crystal ball and can see the future? This isn't a 30 minute sitcom. In real life, things don't always get better. Sometimes a persons situation only gets worse no matter what they do.
5. A lot of people have it worse problems than you.
Yes, a lot of people do have it worde than me. That doesn't make my situation any easier. Thank-you for completely dismissing my problems/invalidating my feelings/ and making me feel more isolated than I already do.
6. If you commit suicide, won't your family and friends miss you/ be devestated?
Why would you say this to a suicidal person? Everyone doesn't have a large/close knit support network of family and friends they can count on. Some people have very Toxic/ abusive families. Some people's families could care less if they drop dead. Reminding a suicidal person that no one cares about them will only make them feel worse/encourage them to commit suicide.
7. Suicide is the easy way out.
No. Suicide isn't the easy way out. Suicide is the hardest thing someone will ever do. Deep down people don't want to die. Facing your own mortality is hard. Deliberately taking your own life before your time is even harder.
Many people struggle with suicidal thoughts for years. They don't really want to die. They want their Pain and suffering to stop. They finally kill themselves when they become desperate enough.
8. You don't have to kill yourself. You can get help.
well it depends on what your problems are. Some people are able to get help and that's great. Other people may have been desperately seeking- even begging for help for years and are unable to get the help they need No matter how hard they try. The world is a cold and cruel place. No one wants to help anyone out anymore.
9. You are being so selfish. Think of how your family/friends will suffer if you commit suicide. They are the real victim.
No. People who commit suicide are not being selfish. They have had something traumatic happen to them and are suffering unbearable emotional or physical pain. They are at the end of their rope and can no longer cope. They have given up all hope and are desperate. They are the victim. They are the one who is dead. If their family/ friends really cared about them, they should have taken the time to talk to them or visit them. They should have tried to help them with their problems instead of being so self absorbed in their own life.
10. You're suicidal? I'll pray for you.
Most people who say this probably mean well. If they believe in a God, then why shouldn't they pray for him to help you? They probably think that they are helping you. I personally don't have a problem with this. What gets me is that they will tell you they will pray for you and then just leave. It would be great if they would talk to you about your problems and give you some practical advise or give you some practical help along with the prayer.
11. If you commit suicide you will automaticallly go to hell.
People who commit suicide are not bad people. They are people who have been given more problems than they can bear. They are suffering unbearable emotional/physical pain. They can no longer cope. They have no hope that things will get better and are desperate. whether or not God will really send them to hell is not even the point. It is beyond cruel to tell a suicidal person with a religious background that they will go to hell. First you have no way of knowing that that is the case. Second to tell that to someone who is suffering emotional pain so bad that they are actually coinsidering suicide and delibertality adding to their pain and giving them something else to worry about is just wrong. It is cruel. It doesn't help. If they are so worried about you, why don't they do something practical to help? They clearly have no idea the mental torture a suicidal person lives through every day or they wouldn't say this.
12. God will never give a person more than he can bear.
With all due respect to God, this is simply not true. No one is born suicidal. Normally people don't want to die. The SI is too strong. Everyone who commits suicide was given a lot more than they could bear in life. That is why they committed suicide. They could no longer cope.
