Sn survivors

[lifesprisoner]

Hi all! Hope you are all coping well today! There arnt many threads about people surviving sn (this fills me with some confidence) however i am aware just like everything else its not 100%. I would be interested to know if there are any sn survivors out there? What was it like and howcome you survived? Would you try again? The more detail about how you felt after consuming sn the better! Thanks guys

 

[lovedread]

Yeah I "survived" back in Oct 2020. Tbh Im not even sure if I did the poisoning correctly, I think (ifff i remember correctly) I took like 7x the deadly amount in a water bottle, drank it, the begged my mom to call the police once I started feeling sleepy and too weak to move. I had to crawl down the stairs. I started passing out. I do not remember experiencing any pain at all.

Probably gonna try again when it pushes me to.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

SN Successful and Unsuccessful cases 2023 update

I have combined and added all the brief summary of all the attempts, assumed successful and unsuccessful, of SN suicide. These are all posts that the member has made to document the method, news articles, and scientific articles. If I have missed any I apologise and it would be great if you can...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Compilation of Fatal & Non-Fatal attempts using SN

Compilation of fatal & non-fatal SN attempts from this site. I had this saved from a while back and thought it was an interesting resource to share.

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[LastFlowers]

Thanks for asking this.

Is there any documented list of SN failures and reasons as to why?
I thought there was some post or thread already regarding exactly that (though probably not up to date) but I have bookmarked so many things on this site, I might as well be searching the entire site all over again if I try to find such a thread in my bookmarks.

I am currently concerned about shelf life.
Two bottles I own, one started to clump awhile ago, I need to check the other again.
The SN I have..I obtained 3+ years ago (I can't believe I'm still here…wow, wtf) and I've seen people say 3 years is the limit while others have said 'indefinitely' so long as the substance is stored properly.. and "stored properly" seems to have various definitions to boot.
I am not concerned about the source as this was back when the stuff was available on the "jungle site" and I have enough confirmation, from public opinion as well as private assurances that my particular SN is quite successful ("noisy carnivore").

I, too, would like to hear from those who failed and ALL the details (within reason) as to why that might have been.
That said..I don't exactly trust every account I've ever heard thus far.
There are ulterior motives for lying, which go beyond pro-life sentiments.
Still, a fresh thread on this topic would be nice..where no stone is left unturned.

 

[lifesprisoner]

Yeah I "survived" back in Oct 2020. Tbh Im not even sure if I did the poisoning correctly, I think (ifff i remember correctly) I took like 7x the deadly amount in a water bottle, drank it, the begged my mom to call the police once I started feeling sleepy and too weak to move. I had to crawl down the stairs. I started passing out. I do not remember experiencing any pain at all.

Probably gonna try again when it pushes me to.

Did it make you panic

 

[dggtscccvfd]

I've read many counts of SN failure on this forum. The vast majority of the time, the person either panicked and called the emergency services or was found by another person. The key to success, therefore, is to ensure you are alone and not to panic when you start getting sick.

 

[lovedread]

Did it make you panic

Yeah I paniced realizng "oh shit this will ACTUALLY kill me" even though I fucking knew that six months earlier. So yeah. Be ready to die when ya do it.

 

[lifesprisoner]

Yeah I paniced realizng "oh shit this will ACTUALLY kill me" even though I fucking knew that six months earlier. So yeah. Be ready to die when ya do it.

Did you take benzos

 

[lovedread]

Did you take benzos

No. I only too the SN bc I failed at getting meto. So it was just SN. I didnt feel pain in my stomach.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Yeah I "survived" back in Oct 2020. Tbh Im not even sure if I did the poisoning correctly, I think (ifff i remember correctly) I took like 7x the deadly amount in a water bottle, drank it, the begged my mom to call the police once I started feeling sleepy and too weak to move. I had to crawl down the stairs. I started passing out. I do not remember experiencing any pain at all.

Probably gonna try again when it pushes me to.

That sounds scary. I hate how there's psychological fear to worry about. I never used to think about this stuff til I had a panic attack once and was just lying on the floor with this sense of impending doom. It was a horrible feeling. Same as if I feel like I'm going to pass out and have to lie on the floor, but actually knowing you're going to die from it, that's terrifying. Obviously that's my plan, but I just can't rationalise SI away and am terrified of actually dying-or more my body not working/being in pain beforehand. You don't know how long you can ride that out for. Did you go to hospital?

 

[lovedread]

Yes, I did go to the hospital. I was in ICU for maybe a day and a half. Was really drugged up and I dont remember a whole lot

That sounds scary. I hate how there's psychological fear to worry about. I never used to think about this stuff til I had a panic attack once and was just lying on the floor with this sense of impending doom. It was a horrible feeling. Same as if I feel like I'm going to pass out and have to lie on the floor, but actually knowing you're going to die from it, that's terrifying. Obviously that's my plan, but I just can't rationalise SI away and am terrified of actually dying-or more my body not working/being in pain beforehand. You don't know how long you can ride that out for. Did you go to hospital?

osp

 

[LastFlowers]

Yes, I did go to the hospital. I was in ICU for maybe a day and a half. Was really drugged up and I dont remember a whole lot

osp

Did you have any lasting side effects and did they hold you in the psych ward afterward?

 

[lovedread]

Yes, held in psych ward, no lasting side effects. I couldn't walk for a few days and I had those AE stickers on my chest for a while but that was it. Also i told them i tried to kill myself sooo

Did you have any lasting side effects and did they hold you in the psych ward afterward?

 

[lifesprisoner]

No. I only too the SN bc I failed at getting meto. So it was just SN. I didnt feel pain in my stomach.

How long did it take before you were blacking out

 

[lovedread]

How long did it take before you were blacking out

I honestly can't remember soz :( i wanna say like 30-1hr? Keep in mind i weighed maybe 110-120 pounds at the time, 5'4 ish

 

[lifesprisoner]

I honestly can't remember soz :( i wanna say like 30-1hr? Keep in mind i weighed maybe 110-120 pounds at the time, 5'4 ish

Were you nauseous did you vomitt

 

[lovedread]

Were you nauseous did you vomitt

No, but my experience really isn't universal

 

[YosemiteGrrl]

Yeah I "survived" back in Oct 2020. Tbh Im not even sure if I did the poisoning correctly, I think (ifff i remember correctly) I took like 7x the deadly amount in a water bottle, drank it, the begged my mom to call the police once I started feeling sleepy and too weak to move. I had to crawl down the stairs. I started passing out. I do not remember experiencing any pain at all.

Probably gonna try again when it pushes me to.

May I ask if you remember any more details of what you took? An anti-emetic? Did you vomit?

 

[FireFox]

I've read many counts of SN failure on this forum. The vast majority of the time, the person either panicked and called the emergency services or was found by another person. The key to success, therefore, is to ensure you are alone and not to panic when you start getting sick.

@dggtscccvfd When you are suicidal you want to die and have all the pain to end but when a person actually attempts suicide that realisation there is no going back is what kicks in. This is why during a suicide attempt people panic and call for help.

Majority of humans fear death because of the uncertainty. Whether you believe in a God or higher power or none we humans don't really know where we are going to go after death. We don't.

The human body is also strange. The human body can detect posions and harmful agents and will fight to expel it out if the body. Being depressed your mind will want you to die but your body will not allow it for you and will fight for you to live.

 

[lovedread]

May I ask if you remember any more details of what you took? An anti-emetic? Did you vomit?

I only took the sn mixture. No antiemetic. Didnt vomit.

 

[FireFox]

Yeah I "survived" back in Oct 2020. Tbh Im not even sure if I did the poisoning correctly, I think (ifff i remember correctly) I took like 7x the deadly amount in a water bottle, drank it, the begged my mom to call the police once I started feeling sleepy and too weak to move. I had to crawl down the stairs. I started passing out. I do not remember experiencing any pain at all.

Probably gonna try again when it pushes me to.

@lovedread That is so scary. I can see how this happened. The human body can detect posions and harmful agents that enter the body, SN is a posion and the body will recognise it as harmful agent so will fight to expel it out of the body

The time you felt feeling weak too move and sleepy your body was fighting to expel the SN out of your body. The reason why most poisoning and overdoses fail is because the body successfully expels the substance out of the body.

The human body is more resilient than people realise thst is why failef suicide attempts happen. The overdoses that do succeed the body wasn't strong enough to expel the poisonous substance that entered. How strong youf body is will determine how successful your method will be.

your body will fight for you even when your mind gives up on you.

Yes, held in psych ward, no lasting side effects. I couldn't walk for a few days and I had those AE stickers on my chest for a while but that was it. Also i told them i tried to kill myself sooo

@lovedread What happened after you left the hospital and hiw did your loved ones react to your attempt?

 

[lovedread]

@lovedread That is so scary. I can see how this happened. The human body can detect posions and harmful agents that enter the body, SN is a posion and the body will recognise it as harmful agent so will fight to expel it out of the body

The time you felt feeling weak too move and sleepy your body was fighting to expel the SN out of your body. The reason why most poisoning and overdoses fail is because the body successfully expels the substance out of the body.

The human body is more resilient than people realise thst is why failef suicide attempts happen. The overdoses that do succeed the body wasn't strong enough to expel the poisonous substance that entered. How strong youf body is will determine how successful your method will be.

your body will fight for you even when your mind gives up on you.

@lovedread What happened after you left the hospital and hiw did your loved ones react to your attempt?

My loved ones honestly just treated it with indifference. My mom reiterated that I embarrassed her. Dad didn't care, siblings never reached out. Only my mom visited in the hospital. It was scary, yeah. For sure.

 

[Otaku]

Yeah I paniced realizng "oh shit this will ACTUALLY kill me" even though I fucking knew that six months earlier. So yeah. Be ready to die when ya do it.

What in your perspective was it, that convinced you that.. " This is going to kill me"?

Because i feel like i have read this before from others. Can you try to explain it a little more in depth?

 

[FireFox]

My loved ones honestly just treated it with indifference. My mom reiterated that I embarrassed her. Dad didn't care, siblings never reached out. Only my mom visited in the hospital. It was scary, yeah. For sure.

@lovedread I am sorry you went you that, you deserved so much better

What annoys me about suicide prevention and mental health campaigns is when they tell you to reach out. Not everyone has caring and supportive family.

When it comes to mental health people see mentally ill people as an inconvenience to their lives or as an embrassment to be around.

 

[Optimu$]

@CocoToxBase attempted twice and was found both times in amusing if unfortunate circumstances. She may be back online at some point to tell her story.

 

[henry22]

What in your perspective was it, that convinced you that.. " This is going to kill me"?

Because i feel like i have read this before from others. Can you try to explain it a little more in depth?

would like to know this as well

 

[lovedread]

What in your perspective was it, that convinced you that.. " This is going to kill me"?

Because i feel like i have read this before from others. Can you try to explain it a little more in depth?

Hmm, I don't know how to explain it ngl. I spent literal months researching, I decided 6 months before I would take my life this way and still chickened out in the end. I think maybe I still didn't fully grasp the gravity of death. And that my choice would be unchangeable. Maybe I realized that I could stick it out (LOL). I think also, the method took so little effort to obtain and take that I was also partially in shock that it was working…even though i read countless accounts of it doing just that on here.

Also another thing is i didnt fast before i did it either. I had been holding on to it for a while and decided to do it kind of in a frenzy. Because of that I just…don't think I put myself in the correct mental state to go all the way through with it.

I think that feeling is like the op said earlier actually, passing in and out and realizing that eventually you're gonna pass out and not wake up. Suddenly you remember things you forgot to say and do. The gravity of death hits u in the fucking face, bad. Wish i cld give a better description tbh

 

[mellie5]

this is more or less what psychiatry textbooks say afaik when explaining why second true (*) attempts are very rare.

Ofc reading is not experiencing...

(*) while there is a difference between attemps with a non-lethal dosage (cry for help, attention-seeking) and attemps with an actual lethal dosage or manner, these further subdivide into "experiment" attemps (I will take it and we'll see what happens, I don't want to die but I'll take the risk), attemps with a "hail mary pass" (I will follow everything but there is a subconscious will that it will not work or that someone saves me and then cares about me, so I'll leave the door open or tell my friends I am very sad or behave weirdily), what unscientifically is a "true attempt" is with a lethal dosage, pretending to everyone that everything is fine and actually locking the door or making sure nobody will disturb in the next few days and really going for it).

Interesting point to note, when people who are depressed or under care or in some other way observed by friends or family, suddenly display a mood improvement and seem not to have a worry in the world, this is highly suspicious that the decision towards a true attempt has been taken. The people/patients are "relieved" that their suffering will actually soon disappear and embrace a "who cares" attitude.

This sometimes is mistaken as "therapy is finally working, he had an insight and now sees that his problems (girlfriend broke off, etc.) are not so important", when it's actually one of the most dangerous phases of depression - if not *the* most dangerous phase.

ik saying "true" attempts seems disrespectful bcs it like calling all other types as "fake", this is just terminology but is important to know if someone had in the past a "true" attempt or any of the other types.