Your trauma is other peoples fetish?

[hermestrimegistus]

Idk if this is the right section to post this forgive me mods if it isnt but. As someone who went through SA by a family member when I was young, I don't understand why incest is such a casual fetish nowadays. I'm not trying to kinkshame people or whatever. But I don't understand the appeal. Just like rape vs rapeplay, I realize there is a difference. But as far as incest goes I cannot wrap my head around it. Like okay I guess, taboo, or whatever. Do other people who have been SAed by a family member understand where I'm coming from? Am I just out of touch? I honestly don't understand and it kind of hurts how normalized its become. Makes me feel like I'm crazy

 

[BackpackBones]

I clearly cannot relate to your experiences myself but I feel gross about it too. I'm unable to understand how these concepts contribute to s*xual arousal.

 

[hellispink]

What does this has to do with suicide? Not the right place obviously

 

[hermestrimegistus]

What does this has to do with suicide? Not the right place obviously

These experiences are directly correlated to why I'm going to CTB. There are threads on here about eating disorders. Should they not be here either?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can't get my head around why this would be taken casually. I'm so sorry for your experience and people's reaction to it. I can't imagine the damage it must have done.

What does this has to do with suicide? Not the right place obviously

I imagine it's a major reason why they want to CTB. That and their experience that other people don't take it seriously. Personally, I don't get why people get so hung up on what belongs in what section. Especially with newer members. They're still finding their feet.

Plus- when it's a serious subject, not someone posting something goofy- wouldn't it be kinder to acknowledge their suffering first- before becoming finickity about which section they post in?

Sorry to have a go. I guess your pet peeve is people posting in the wrong section. Mine is people criticizing someone for something minor when they are sharing something really vulnerable and massive in their lives. Not to say I haven't been insensitive at times too here but I would say this is pretty insensitve to the OP.

 

[godsseepiestsoldier]

For someone whos rather embarssingly into cnc and has also been SAd throughout childhood its a way for me to cope tbh. The only time ive ever felt loved in my life was when I was being groomed and SAd. I still hated it and would undo it if i could but i cant. It also feels like i have control over something that happened ig and a bunch of other emotions that help me w it but i dont wanna be sappy and go into it too much. With the amount of SA in the world i could imagine ppl might be into it for similar reasons but im not other ppl so i cant tell you

 

[hermestrimegistus]

For someone whos rather embarssingly into cnc and has also been SAd throughout childhood its a way for me to cope tbh. The only time ive ever felt loved in my life was when I was being groomed and SAd. I still hated it and would undo it if i could but i cant. It also feels like i have control over something that happened ig and a bunch of other emotions that help me w it but i dont wanna be sappy and go into it too much. With the amount of SA in the world i could imagine ppl might be into it for similar reasons but im not other ppl so i cant tell you

Oh but I understand in my own way the appeal of CNC. For similar reasons you stated. Its more the incest aspect than anything that I don't understand. Especially for someone who isn't using it to cope from past experiences. I'm not judging anyone I just don't understand it personally and am indirectly triggered by how popular and nonchalant it has become

I can't get my head around why this would be taken casually. I'm so sorry for your experience and people's reaction to it. I can't imagine the damage it must have done.


I imagine it's a major reason why they want to CTB. That and their experience that other people don't take it seriously. Personally, I don't get why people get so hung up on what belongs in what section. Especially with newer members. They're still finding their feet.

Plus- when it's a serious subject, not someone posting something goofy- wouldn't it be kinder to acknowledge their suffering first- before becoming finickity about which section they post in?

Sorry to have a go. I guess your pet peeve is people posting in the wrong section. Mine is people criticizing someone for something minor when they are sharing something really vulnerable and massive in their lives. Not to say I haven't been insensitive at times too here but I would say this is pretty insensitve to the OP.

Thank you. I'm sorry. I will remove it

 

[Nlis2244]

Incest doesn't necessarily mean sexual abuse. I doubt anyone sane is normalizing that.

 

[Life_and_Death]

only speaking from personal experience (so theres probably other reasons and whatnot)
for some its a mindset due to abuse/neglect

 

[lionetta12]

Idk if this is the right section to post this forgive me mods if it isnt but. As someone who went through SA by a family member when I was young, I don't understand why incest is such a casual fetish nowadays. I'm not trying to kinkshame people or whatever. But I don't understand the appeal. Just like rape vs rapeplay, I realize there is a difference. But as far as incest goes I cannot wrap my head around it. Like okay I guess, taboo, or whatever. Do other people who have been SAed by a family member understand where I'm coming from? Am I just out of touch? I honestly don't understand and it kind of hurts how normalized its become. Makes me feel like I'm crazy

Yea idk, most dudes I've been involved with had a kink for being called «daddy» and I made it pretty clear instantly that I would never in my life call anyone that due to the stuff I've gone through and that it makes my flashbacks come up and it makes me really uncomfortable. I've also dealt with guys who had «mom issues» and who tried to call me mommy and such, I find that weird too and very disturbing due to what I've gone through so I shut that down and make that boundary clear as well. I do understand that some people that matter to me have big mother issues due to their moms abandoning them and abusing them as a child so I get where it's coming from, but I tell them that we can talk about that trauma, just don't try to sexualize things like that around me though because it crosses a personal limit.

Trauma can effect people differently. My trauma never caused me any fetishes like that, but a lot of people I know who went through similar abuse and trauma have a fetish for it now.

Also I guess if you want to take into consideration what Freud was doing and his beliefs about this topic, you can try and read into that, althought I don't personally agree with that stuff.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

While I don't have the exact same trauma as you, the trauma I endured gave me humiliating and strange fetishes that have been with me since early childhood. I was molested by a doctor and later groomed by older men and women when I was a teenager and my sexuality was shaped by that. I despise it but I think it's my brain's way of coping with the horrors. I can't say that everyone has fetishes due to trauma, as that would be completely baseless and outlandish, but I feel like a lot of kinks do stem from deep emotional neglect or abuse.

 

[godsseepiestsoldier]

Oh but I understand in my own way the appeal of CNC. For similar reasons you stated. Its more the incest aspect than anything that I don't understand. Especially for someone who isn't using it to cope from past experiences. I'm not judging anyone I just don't understand it personally and am indirectly triggered by how popular and nonchalant it has become

Probably no where near as extreme as your experiences (which im truly sorry that you had to go through) but id say parental issues and parental abuse are extremely commen even in ppl who wouldn't like to admit it. So many people have had physically abusive or mentally abusive parents, sexually abusive family members, drug addicted parents etc so I think incest/the step parent trope and other such become more popular is just the symptom of peoples trauma even if they arent willing to admit. It dosent invalide ur feelings btw u have every right to be uncomfortable about it but i just thought id try to give a little insight into what ive found talking to thoes kinds of ppl.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Oh but I understand in my own way the appeal of CNC. For similar reasons you stated. Its more the incest aspect than anything that I don't understand. Especially for someone who isn't using it to cope from past experiences. I'm not judging anyone I just don't understand it personally and am indirectly triggered by how popular and nonchalant it has become

Thank you. I'm sorry. I will remove it

Nothing for you to be sorry over. I was remarking on the post by the other user 'hellispink' saying it was in the wrong section.

 

[alliance]

In general, I'm a little disgusted with myself, because when I was little, my older brother (it's fucking disaster, because I was 5~, and he was 17) raped me and to this day, I really fucking despise it!!! rapists and other similar individuals are just trash, but now in my life I more, than accept when I am abused and treated the same way as I once was. I can't change it, maybe because I've been through trauma and can't take it anymore, but as for the other side... I really have no idea. I think that's what leads to this. my brother was literally a porn addict and then as i saw in his browser history he was especially interested in little girls.
I really sympathize with you and understand, these situations breaking very much, I in no way support myself, ESPECIALLY those who do this. I really hope that someday there will be more morality in this world.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

In general, I'm a little disgusted with myself, because when I was little, my older brother (it's fucking disaster, because I was 5~, and he was 17) raped me and to this day, I really fucking despise it!!! rapists and other similar individuals are just trash, but now in my life I more, than accept when I am abused and treated the same way as I once was. I can't change it, maybe because I've been through trauma and can't take it anymore, but as for the other side... I really have no idea. I think that's what leads to this. my brother was literally a porn addict and then as i saw in his browser history he was especially interested in little girls.
I really sympathize with you and understand, these situations breaking very much, I in no way support myself, ESPECIALLY those who do this. I really hope that someday there will be more morality in this world.

I'm so sorry for what happened to you.

I know theres a difference between real life and entertainment. Just like I know the difference between legitimate rape and rape roleplay. But on the subject on incest, and the way its so carelessly fetished, I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to open up to a potential partner about the subject matter. On one hand they might be disgusted by it. Not they shouldn't be. It's not something I chose. But what really scares me is that I'm going to be dumb enough to open up to someone about it and then they're going to get off on it and/or fetishize me for it. Literally terrifies me. And I'm in this weird position where I can't just go out and have casual sex because 1) I honestly am not interested in meaningless/casual and 2) i most likely am going to disasociate before/during sex. And I don't think its right to subject someone to that without briefing them on why I got like that. So essentially I'm going to have to choose to be celibate the rest of my life instead to avoid these problems

 

[alliance]

I'm so sorry for what happened to you.

I know theres a difference between real life and entertainment. Just like I know the difference between legitimate rape and rape roleplay. But on the subject on incest, and the way its so carelessly fetished, I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to open up to a potential partner about the subject matter. On one hand they might be disgusted by it. Not they shouldn't be. It's not something I chose. But what really scares me is that I'm going to be dumb enough to open up to someone about it and then they're going to get off on it and/or fetishize me for it. Literally terrifies me. And I'm in this weird position where I can't just go out and have casual sex because 1) I honestly am not interested in meaningless/casual and 2) i most likely am going to disasociate before/during sex. And I don't think its right to subject someone to that without briefing them on why I got like that. So essentially I'm going to have to choose to be celibate the rest of my life instead to avoid these problems

I can often think of a situation where you're sitting on a cold bathroom tile and you feel the most anxiety in the world, but your partner is literally nobody to you, and sometimes SHE'S JUST CRAZY!!!, and that's the problem with "ridicule" or using your injury...
sometimes you just want to care and no feel anxiety at all. :(
anyway, I sincerely hope, that if you really want, you will have someone to share it with and feel safe.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I can often think of a situation where you're sitting on a cold bathroom tile and you feel the most anxiety in the world, but your partner is literally nobody to you, and sometimes SHE'S JUST CRAZY!!!, and that's the problem with "ridicule" or using your injury...
sometimes you just want to care and no feel anxiety at all. :(
anyway, I sincerely hope, that if you really want, you will have someone to share it with and feel safe.

Thank you

 

[LaVieEnRose]

While I don't have the exact same trauma as you, the trauma I endured gave me humiliating and strange fetishes that have been with me since early childhood. I was molested by a doctor and later groomed by older men and women when I was a teenager and my sexuality was shaped by that. I despise it but I think it's my brain's way of coping with the horrors. I can't say that everyone has fetishes due to trauma, as that would be completely baseless and outlandish, but I feel like a lot of kinks do stem from deep emotional neglect or abuse.

You don't deserve fault for developing these fetishes. Paraphilias are as natural as any other phenomenon out there. People like us, our normal development was severely compromised so it can't be taken for granted that the end result would be just like anyone else's.

 

[flower_g1rl]

it's because of porn

 

[Scythe]

Incest idk, why it got so popular so recently. I think most people would be disgusted by what you went through. I think not all ppl who enjoys incest is okay or fetishes rape either. As for rape fetish, I saw a bunch of people talking about it here. I am just speculating and doesn't speak for anyone, but maybe sometimes it's due to self hate? Wishing for horrible things to happen because you hate yourself and/or you want to be punished.

 

[Outsidelessness]

For incest, the prohibition of it comes from historic contexts like established religion and social organization, not necessarily a natural or universal law. As of recently, morality around that is especially evolving around an inbreeding-abstinent stance and I don't know how to feel about that either. While it's still a devious form of relation, incest isn't always sexual abuse because it's still capable of being properly consensual.
To respond to some of the replies here: In the most simple and common way, CNC fetishes in submission can mean wishing to let go of wanting control, and domination means wanting control from a lack thereof. It's not a binary thing and it goes a lot deeper than that, but different forms of upbringing can absolutely lead people to have those desires. What's in common between both of them is a lack of control, which kind of gives pretty good hints at what forms psychological change these people have endured.

 

[lemonheads]

It's most likely due to porn and hentai, and I know this because I have the idea/roleplay of it as being a turn on for me. Anyone who actually acts on it is actively revolting, you never should have gone through that situation and I'm sorry you did.

I think it also comes up from the "convenience" and power that comes from the abuse that gets abusers off.

As for me, I was severely neglected and an only child, so seeing someone "willing to take care of me" and "teach me new adult things" in stepsibling hentai was an appealing fantasy. I still have it ingrained in me too, and the fact I was supposed to see my male peers as "brotherly figures" instead of regular classmates probably had a part of it as well. I'm genuinely so grateful that they didn't assault me, because my parents would take me to parties and leave me in the hands of a bunch of children of varying ages with porn addictions, eventually turning me into one. Things could have gotten hand so fast and I will never forgive them for that.