Venting “Your teenage years of your life are the best years of your life, it all goes downhill from there.”

[sixthgun]

TW for mentions of SH (?)
(I don't know if you're supposed to add a TW, but I am just in case someone's trying to not relapse for whatever reason)

That's what I was always told by adults as a kid. I can't lie, it's semi true. Things have only gotten worse for me as the years went on. I find myself wishing I could go back in time with my current memories and fix everything. I had no idea how much worse it could get. I thought being 18 would mean being happy, partying, going to uni…

Instead I'm a miserable homeschooled freak who's going to finish college at 20 (assuming I live that long) because my mum decided to not save up so I could sit my GCSEs and made me sit them at college. I finished my GCSEs at 18 years old, while everyone else my age was finishing sixth form and going to university. I have 3 GCSEs and mediocre grades. Really not beating the northern council estate allegations.

Every single day I go outside something awful happens. It doesn't matter how small, something happens. It's gotten to the point that I refuse to go outside except for college and the occasional walk every few months so I don't go completely insane.

I had a decent week last week. I stayed home because I was ill, actually had the motivation to work on my assignments, and was able to relax and distract myself from everything. I actually felt good for once.

Then, today I decided to go into college because my attendance is 80%. I had my least favourite teacher be absolutely useless as per usual and leave us all to figure out the assignment on our own, my only two friends in the class both showed up late so I was stuck sitting like a loser by myself, and I couldn't even manage a simple conversation with a girl in my class when she tried to make small talk. Then I got stuck in what feels like the hottest lab in the college and ended up nearly passing out and having to leave early. I also got messages from multiple teachers because my dumbass half arsed all my assignments and I only get one chance to resubmit them. They all can't stand me, I swear.

I cut myself in the bathroom and stupidly forgot that blood stains still show through black pants, so I had a massive bloodstain covering my upper thigh and I had to hide it with a jacket around my waist.

Anyways, I know this is rambling, so I'll get to the point. If I can barely handle life now, how am I going to handle it if it gets worse? I'm not delusional. If 13 year old me thought he'd hit rock bottom only to fall through a trap door, there's a good chance 18 year old me is probably about to fall through another.

I'm fucking terrified. I'm in a constant state of fight or flight and autopilot. I find myself saying things and acting like a completely different person. I feel like I'm watching someone else through their eyes when I'm not at home.

I wish I could just stay home forever and hide from the world. I want to sleep forever. I don't want to grow up if it means things getting worse. Are your 20-30s really that awful?

 

[platypus77]

I think you'll get a different response depending who you ask.

To me the enjoyable parts of life only happened between 18-30. I'm 36 now.

 

[Forveleth]

Whoever said your teens are the best part of your life is an absolute idiot. You haven no idea how to socially interact, your brain is being overrun by hormones, you are physically awkward, and people want you to have your whole life figured out. It sucks.

20's are a little better. You are starting to figure things out socially but you still have the teen-like need to desperately fit in. Lots of "firsts" happen in this decade which leaves plenty of room for more awkwardness. But also, you start to mature a bit. Your forebrain finishes developing and you can now appreciate deep concepts and can start thinking "long-term" about life. You get a job and find friends and have a bit more stability.

30's are the REAL best time of your life. You start to really have your shit figured out. You now know what you like and what you do not. You also realize that everyone is pretty much the same socially and you stop worrying about trying to "fit in" with everyone. Instead, this is when you find the real friends that share the same weird interests as you. You hopefully have some sort of a stable income and some hobbies you enjoy. You are still pretty "young" physically so you can still get away with some late nights and not eating quite as good as you should.

I hated being a teen. School was terrible for me. My social life sucked. I felt really alone and lost. I am so glad that decade is over.

 

[divinemistress36]

20s were better than teenage years

 

[sixthgun]

I think you'll get a different response depending who you ask.

To me the enjoyable parts of life only happened between 18-30. I'm 36 now.

Yeah, I see a lot of people argue about which age is the best/worst. It makes me wonder if any age range is actually the worst or if everyone's just contributing whatever problems they had to their age.

20s were better than teenage years

I hope that's the case for me. I'm praying uni will be a fresh start and not as god awful as college.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's very reliant on your individual circumstances. Ages 10-18 were the very worst of my life- to date. Probably my thirties were my best.

 

[Unspoken7612]

There are some advantages to teenage years - primarily, being in close and regular proximity to a load of other people your age, who have shared experiences.

There are also disadvantages. The main one is probably a lack of autonomy and control. You're still a second-class citizen. Some people don't really mind that, but I think most people do.

Your twenties offer incredible opportunities, and your thirties are supposedly a more chill version of that.

 

[platypus77]

Yeah, I see a lot of people argue about which age is the best/worst. It makes me wonder if any age range is actually the worst or if everyone's just contributing whatever problems they had to their age.

In my opinion if there's a time to give a honest shot in life it's definitely in this range. There's so many opportunities to experience and trying different things.

 

[CatLvr]

The best time of my life was my 30s and 40s. I had my kids and they were my reason for being. Don't get me wrong -- life as a single mom with no support from my fam or his made for a tough time part of the time. But the parts that weren't tough were glorious! I would do it over again a million different times if I had the chance.

 

[deadbidaylight]

My teen years were the worst. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to that time. Teenagers are fucking cruel, and hormones suck. I was an asshole when I was a teen, and knowing what I know now, I hate that I treated people the way I did. It's something I can never take back.

Mid 20s was when I started to really enjoy life. Teenage years and early 20s, people still see you as a kid who knows nothing and needs coddling. Mid twenties I find is when people start seeing you as a peer. And that makes a huge difference.

 

[LimpandNumb]

I hated my teen years too. 20s was good. I started to find my tribe.
3 GCSE's aren't the worst and you have your whole life to study. There is alot of pressure to have life all figured out, to know what career you want etc at your age too. It's ok to not have it figured out yet. Fantastic job on going to college, attending, doing your assignments.

Best wishes.

 

[Higurashi415]

I think it's hard to top a great childhood, so if you had a great childhood it COULD be all downhill from there.
Statements like this one I think are telling with regards to how good it is to have a good childhood, that's about it.
If, on the other hand, you had a bad childhood, it isn't that hard to enjoy your 20s more, or even 30s, or 40s. Or 50s for that matter, you get my point.

If your childhood sucked it doesn't take much for your 20s to be better.