Your first thought when you wake up

[a_strange_day]

Fuck ! I'm still alive. Every night before I fall asleep I pray, yes I pray, I even beg that I may just die peacefully while I sleep. Just leave quietly, no hard feelings, all's forgiven. It's been years. But no, no way ! So every morning my first thought is Fuck ! Still alive.

 

[mediocre]

Disappointment that I didn't die in my sleep.

 

[rata1]

"oh no, again one more day in this senseless, useless, boring, stupid world..."

 

[MeltingHeart]

Ive woken up - now the real nightmare begins (even if I was having one in sleep)

 

[Xaphous]

Sense of dread comes first, knowing im faced with the same day almost identical to the previous of pathetic silence and isolation, then reminding myself I don't get to change a fucking thing because ive endured too much im paralyzed and if I dare even try I'll be treat like garbage directly or indirectly.

 

[Woodnote]

Exactly that. Fuck was my first thought when I read the title. I dread waking up in the morning.

 

[metalchic_74]

Absolute dread but only have to suffer for a few more weeks

 

[BPD_LE]

Usually....... 'Where the fuck did that dream come from?'

 

[ReadyToMeetMyMaker]

I wake up with tears and regret. I can't wait to leave this world.

 

[Life+me=error]

Oh shit (remembering my situation, my pain, and thinking of how to survive another day)

 

[Deleted member 1465]

What does the floor taste like?

 

[MeltingHeart]

What does the floor taste like?

what?!!

 

[Santiago]

Damn it's big

 

[Nem]

Fuck ! I'm still alive. Every night before I fall asleep I pray, yes I pray, I even beg that I may just die peacefully while I sleep. Just leave quietly, no hard feelings, all's forgiven. It's been years. But no, no way ! So every morning my first thought is Fuck ! Still alive.

Holyfuckingshit...AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace/hugs

 

[Throwawaysoul]

Fuck ! I'm still alive. Every night before I fall asleep I pray, yes I pray, I even beg that I may just die peacefully while I sleep. Just leave quietly, no hard feelings, all's forgiven. It's been years. But no, no way ! So every morning my first thought is Fuck ! Still alive.

Same here. Then I moan and groan for awhile.

 

[SoupSnakes]

For fuck sake, still here. Greeeeeat.

 

[UninformedLover]

"God, I hate my life" or any variation of that.

 

[wendydong1]

I don't have a thought, more like a wave of depressing feelings first.

Then I try to tell myself it's a new day, I will try to change.

But it always end up the same

 

[Frank]

I just go "pfff"

 

[Squiddy]

"Dammit. Not another day"

 

[not4us]

"Why am I still doing it (life)?"

 

[Numbtopain97]

I hate waking up. I just wanna go back to sleep and never woke up again.

 

[woxihuanni]

Nothing in particular. Try to remember my dream, then check various accounts. Then coffee and fags.

But sometimes I wake up with the knowledge that I will die soon. Those are not very nice mornings.

 

[Fragile]

"why is my heart beating so fast?"
"everything hurts"
"why am i so anxious?"
"i didn't even eat and yet i feel like vomiting"

waking up is pure hell.

 

[Circles]

"Great another pointless day doing the same things and feeling the same way. Nothing is changing or helping. Even the dreams you had were depressing making you feel weird off setting vibes that you can't control. You have no control. Kill yourself, Kill yourself, kill yourself. DO IT you fucking idiot. What are you waiting for? No don't think like that. Not today go away. Not today, go away. Please just stop it like fuck. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself. No, no I can't, not yet. Do it you're wasting your time, your life is pathetic and nothing you do matters. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself. Just get it over with damnit. Am I always going to feel like this?"

And then after ruminating with those thoughts and feelings I'd get overwhelmed and then proceed to surf on my phone and then get ready to go smoke a bowl outside to forget myself even for a moment.

 

[justanotherday]

Oh god... another day that I don't friggin' want!

 

[Reyki6667]

Another day in this interminable nightmare.

 

[Ko9]

I am a nightowl. When I wake up I need a long time to get started. First thought is to get up and all. After 20 seconds I realize my life is shit and I am shit and then the urge to end myself and it all and knowing that I am to much of a pussy to do it and that this is the only reason I am still alive. There you go.

 

[StillWaiting]

"Not this shit again" I guess

 

[Nem]

Holyfuckingshit
Peace/hugs