Your alternate reality in steps: What should have happened to make your life worthwhile?

[ChildrensITV]

Also give each step a rating:
A) Something you could have done differently
B) Something others could have done differently
C) Something that nature, genes or the universe should have done differently

- My dad wouldn't have died when I was a child and would have been around to teach me how to be tough, dominant, and masculine (C)
- I would have been more confident, more sociable, made more friends, kept in contact with more friends (A, C)
- I wouldn't have developed confusion, duality, second-guessing, unwanted intrusive thoughts and emotions as a teenager that is what broke me as a person irrecoverably. The consequences of which are main reason for who I am today. I would have lived with a clear mind, a positive outlook, knowing exactly who I am and being confident in it. This situation eased up a lot from when I was younger, but the damage was done and I was a broken man. (C)
- I would have not had the mental trauma that lead to extreme anxiety, low-testosterone, depression, OCD. (C)
- I would have been goodlooking, I wouldn't have started balding early (C)
- I would have been smart, motivated (I was up until after uni), confident in my knowledge (C)
- I would have gotten a good job and been proud of my achievements. I would have been respected for this (A, C)
- I would have moved out early and my relationship with my mum would have been better. I forgive her for everything (A, C)
- I would have been a happier person and therefore my friend would have had to babysit and focus on me less and I could have been there for him more. (A, C)
- I would have been respected generally (A, C)
- I would have gotten and kept a girlfriend. I would have been a stable, reliable boyfriend. I would have been able to pack up and move to her and make her happy. We would have been comfortable because of my secure, high-paying job. We would have been happy cuz we would cope well with all life has to throw at us. (C)

Because of all of the above, I would have been able to build a life worth living. But it wasn't to be.

WOW. I can't see a single B (I am rushing cuz I have to go). Lots of C. So basically, for my life to have been worthwhile, it would have taken unearthly, physics-bending superpowers. And yet people still want me to stick around.

 

[SilentSadness]

I should never have been born. (B) (C)

 

[Scacie]

1. Being born a girl (C) (Most impt, probably wont even need others if this happens, oh well)
2. Be born in any western European/North American country that is even slightly pro LGBT. Seriously, i'd take TERF island or even Texas any day of the week over this shithole. Might not need to CTB if this happens (C)
3. Not abusive parents (B, C) (No CPTSD, DPDR, personality disorders. might not even develop BPII later in life)
4. Less toxic masculinity from literally fucking everyone when I'm just a godamn kid (less than 10), telling me to man up etc when I started crying or doing anything really. (Seriously, fuck everyone who ever said that shitty fucking phrase to me. like who the fuck tells a 10 yr old kid to man up when they cry) (B)
5. My first psych that saw me when I was 10 doesn't leave, she tried so hard to built trust with me, and I remember feeling somewhat comfortable with her (C)
6. Just come out as trans. Should have done it instantly when I finally found the word to describe it at 14, maybe I won't have to do it if I came out that time (A)
7. Maybe shouldn't have lied to my last psych about not wanting to CTB at all (even though I wanted to) at 15, just to get away from her. (I really disliked her), maybe I could have got treatment for my many mental illnesses, or probably request to change one. (A)
8. Being born into a rich household, so I can finally fuck off and leave this place to a better country to study uni for good (B,C)
If these happened, at least I have the capacity to manage my many mental illnesses, or if 2,3 happened, I'd have much less of them. Even with all these, I still managed to secure a place at a great university (thanks hypomania lol), but I still remember having a good enough grade for the best secondary school in the nation during primary school, before the mental illnesses came. Maybe I'd be able to follow my dreams and study med. Sigh

 

[FieldsofLavender]

1. Didn't turn out to be an queer girl in a very judgmental religious community (B) (C)
2. Father wouldn't have treated me the way he did, wouldn't have hurt me and cause me to always feel like I'm wrong and the source of all bad things (B)
3. Would have not tried to CTB the first time (A)
4. Wouldn't have fallen into crippling addiction (A)
5. Wouldn't have inherited my mothers depression and anxiety, and wouldn't have had schizophrenia (C)
6. Would have been able to focus on projects and actually create something good. (A)
I hope I did this right, ehehe...

 

[ChildrensITV]

I should never have been born. (B) (C)

I needed the laugh. Very accurate.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Not be born with ASD.

 

[Sparr0w]

i would have have to be born a different person. a little more motivated, more empathetic, able to stand failure/disappointment a bit more and/or be a tad bit more "normal" (non-autistic) (c)
i would have needed to ask for help (a)
i couldve made everything else work, really.

 

[ChildrensITV]

1. Being born a girl (C) (Most impt, probably wont even need others if this happens, oh well)

I'm not even trans and I agree with this one. Have inherent value, pick and vet a goodlooking, tall, stable, high-status guy from your 1000s of matches (I heard that "femcels" can get up to that many, so an average woman might get more) on Hinge, Tinder, nightclub or your social circle, work part-time, look after and play with your kids. It seems like such a wholesome, peaceful life. Admittedly there are a handful of women for whom that doesn't go smoothly.

 

[harpy]

Mum not having cancer when I was 3 (C) (she survived but it was still difficult for 3yr old me)
-> no trauma on my part
-> not be emotionally numb
-> be able to feel happy (probably)
-> life wouldnt be as dull/boring

 

[Scacie]

I'm not even trans and I agree with this one. Have inherent value, pick and vet a goodlooking, tall, stable, high-status guy from your 1000s of matches (I heard that "femcels" can get up to that many, so an average woman might get more) on Hinge, Tinder, nightclub or your social circle, work part-time, look after and play with your kids. It seems like such a wholesome, peaceful life. Admittedly there are a handful of women for whom that doesn't go smoothly.

HAHA I mean, when I look at pictures of my mom and her sisters in their 20s, they are really pretty, so..... But seriously though, bearing kids of my own is such a dream for me, and yet I'm robbed of that opportunity. If I were born a women, with everything else being the same, I might still end up here because of abusive parents lol, but theres a much higher chance of it not being the case. I mean, I'd probably still be ambitious, and will probably aim for med sch, etc, just to create a comfortable life for myself. But having the choice of that, or settling down and have kids, be a loving mother to them, never repeating the abuse handed down to me, just seems so nice

 

[hellispink]

humans would be kind and selfless A, B, C
Humans wouldnt have destroyed nature A, B
Abusers, crime, injustice would never exist B, C
My parents wouldn't have had me if they were emotionally unavailable and abusive B
My parents would have defended / believed me when i was severely harassed bullied and rap3d B
My ex wouldn't have used me if he wasnt sure of what he wanted in life B
So many things that can never change

 

[FuneralCry]

I could never see existence as being worth enduring no matter the circumstances, no matter what I believe that it's always better to not exist. In this cruel world there is just no peace from suffering, and life in itself is something that is harmful, as we exist in a world where there are so many risks and everything is so uncertain. I despise being conscious and being trapped in the nightmare that is existing. So therefore the only alternate reality that I could wish for is one where I never existed at all.

 

[pharma]

not being born at all tbh

 

[NoReasonToLive2023]

I wouldn't have been born with Autism. I grow up without feeling like a round peg in a square hole, I get a job, I marry a local girl and have kids. I don't need to go onto the Internet in a desperate attempt to find love, I never meet the narcissist I married, and generally I have a happier life.

That's a C, right?

 

[endofafoxtwo]

Mm being born a realer fox would have done it.
A caring and supportive human family could have worked too, somewhat.
Really, I just live for the hell of it and to smoke weed at this point.
Mm being born a realer fox would have done it.
A caring and supportive human family could have worked too, somewhat.
Really, I just live for the hell of it and to smoke weed at this point.

 

[spøgelse]

A) said yes to getting help when my mother asked me if i wanted it when i was 10.
B) gotten me help when i started showing symptoms of dysphoria at a young age.
C) being born male properly, or at least fully female. that'd make me a different person completely, but at least i wouldn't be suffering.

i would be fine if one of those happend. too late now, i'll be 6 feet under before i even get a chance at living.

 

[ncmxm]

I would have to be born with a different face and skin and body, I would have to be born smarter (C)

 

[brokeandbroken]

I went to college (have a bachelor's degree) then medical school overseas in Poland where I was the victim of crimes. Crimes that are easily provable hell crimes people even admit are crimes. Yet no one gives a fuck. Hell I can prove it if you want.

1. Drop out of high school and move out my parents home at the same time. Try and emancipate myself cut them and my entire family off completely. My education was completely pointless, costly, and not a good investment to be honest. It means honestly nothing and frankly all one would have to do is google the courses you find most interesting find a syllabus somewhere buy an overpriced stack of papers read them and you'd know the same for 1/100 of the price. You pay for tests basically and the degree which again as you will see means nothing. I've basically spent my life learning or working and I can barely get a job bagging groceries. When 2 minutes ago I was learning how to save someone's life, president of the oncology research group, etc... It's fucked honestly. It makes no sense. Somehow I was basically entrusted to take care of patients to a certain extent but.... I can't get even a semi-decent job? Explain society. I survived high school I got pretty good grades 3.0+ never studied was bored most of the time. Didn't have really any friends. I was in karate and jiu-jitsu. Pursue a career in MMA or just honestly just become a drug addict harder the better. I haven't had fun in life and I wish I did. (A)

2) I'll give 2 here. 1) Help me actually fight the crimes that occurred against me so I was left without a future. 2) Society could've been friends with me in life instead of bullying, isolating me, etc... (A)

3) I am probably borderline autistic but even if I am not I am socially awkward so better social skills or taller. (A)

 

[jonward55]

Not spending money when mentally unfit.

 

[ggetout33]

1. Stood up to my bullies in childhood without being held back by zero tolerance bullshit, saved more money when I worked a full time job, taken more initiative with mental health and improving my life. I also wish I was able to get a driver's license in high school.

2. I think I would have a lot more self confidence if I wasn't severely bullied and ostracized in childhood. If my Dad wasn't so angry and ran with an itchy trigger with his emotions. I also wish I didn't grow up in the town I did, barely anything to do. A small and conservative shithole where everyone goes to fucking church while I'm an atheist. Yet everyone wonders why I stay inside all day.

3. Be born neurotypical. Or at least not so held back by my brain. Maybe born as a hot girl if I'm trans, or at least a better looking body (body image issues). Oh and no circumcision if I stay male. Autism makes me think I'll die single and ADHD holds me back from living the life I want. Meds don't work so I oughta call it quits on this life.

 

[willitpass]

A. Accepted help at a younger age. When I first became depressed around age 9/10 I didn't want to go to therapy and would lie about how I was feeling to get out of things. Maybe if I had been open to help earlier things wouldn't have gotten too deep to get out of.

B. My mother is extremely abusive and narcissistic. I truly believe if she wasn't such a horrible mother that caused so much trauma that my mental illness would be much, much, more manageable.

C. Mental illness runs on both sides of my family, but I somehow drew the short end of the stick and got a double dose of everything. I'm truly curious to get a scan done of my brain to see how physically altered it is, because I highly doubt everything is intact up there.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

A) I shouldn't have made so many bad choices. I should have been kinder to people.

B) My parents shouldn't have put me though the shit that they did.

C) I should have been given better people skills/been more naturally outgoing.