“You Just Need More Self care”

[stoiccactus]

I am going to scream at the next person that utters this phrase to me. A hot bath isn't gonna solve the billion messes I have made and am responsible for. Ten minutes meditating doesn't pay the bills. I fucking hate when people say this!

 

[archipelago]

I've learned that for the most part, the opinions of people who aren't dealing with something similar are irrelevant. I have a very specific example in mind and it might be identifying, but it has to do with my chronic illness.

It's so easy for others who haven't been in a similar situation to give advice when it doesn't affect them.

I see self-care as doing things I enjoy in the time leading to ctb, which make what time I have left happier. But it isn't the problem solver that people claim it is.

 

[Al Cappella]

Ya, it is frustrating as hell—I've been there.

 

[sadandlonely]

Totally understand. The meaningless platitudes that are always directed to me makes me more insane than I already am.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Also, the one about, "It's okay if the only thing you did today was breathe." (or not give up or whatever) REALLY?!?!

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not believe that platitudes help anything, some people can be very invalidating, it is best that they are ignored, many people will never be able to understand. We live in a world with unlimited potential for suffering where people have very real problems and many people live in denial of the fact that things can get that bad that there is nothing that can be done to help, as they do not want to face the fact that things could get that bad for themselves.

 

[Insomniac]

I have a cousin who is less fortunate than me in life (materially speaking) and who always say that to me when I tell her I'm depressed. Because of the fact that her circumstances are worse than me (using my own standards anyway), I feel obligated to shut up and listen. I wonder hiw she can be so satisfied with her life and tell me things like "life is so beautiful" when I'm out here, way better off than her but chronically suicidal.

I used to believe it was just a phase for her and eventually she'd realise the absurdity of life, but she has always been like this and is still like this. I just wish I understood how her mind worked..

 

[Judy Garland]

Yup, and the people who say this think that they're the first ones to say it, and think you've never heard it before.

 

[bing]

society is a joke.

 

[CarambaAlbum]

My therapist used to say "do something nice for yourself".

Like what? Eat more junk food? Jerk off? Drink? Short term dopamine hits aren't going to fix anything that is in my head. Everything costs money and the things that don't cost anything are usually public things which sucks because I don't want anyone to see my gross body anymore.

It's a broken record for sure, hope you find something to help you on your own and not with these meaningless diatribes.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Also, the one about, "It's okay if the only thing you did today was breathe." (or not give up or whatever) REALLY?!?!

That's amazing! I shall give myself a pat on the back for breathing all this time.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I have tried virtually everything to try and get better in the past.
NOTHING EVER WORKS !
At best, all of this feel good toxic positivity bullshit is just a temporary distraction.
The only real solution for some of us is to just end our pointless and meaningless existence of suffering one and for all.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Im hikikomori
I stay all day in my bed, i give up long time ago

 

[leloyon]

It's easy for people to say that self-care will fix anything when they only see you how you are now. I used to take care of myself but as my mental state has worsened I've been able to less and less. I still felt miserable when I was bathing and changing my clothes regularly, that's how I got to the point where I haven't bathed since March and I can't remember when I put on my current clothes.

 

[MrDarkness]

I am going to scream at the next person that utters this phrase to me. A hot bath isn't gonna solve the billion messes I have made and am responsible for. Ten minutes meditating doesn't pay the bills. I fucking hate when people say this!

What pisses me off more, is people saying go to the gym it will make you feel better and you will have a more positive outlook on your body. I already tried and still felt like shit I tried and I tried. Now I don't even have the energy to go the gym, I just stay at home and play games and sleep. Shit sucks man

 

[lokabe82]

Self care doesn't cure anything and the people that say it does do not know any better. However, self care does seem to help when you know your time is coming up. Why not take a bubble bath while passing the time

 

[Catchingdabus27]

I hate when people suggest I take a walk like
1. I overdid that shit like 10 yrs ago and now going on walks without purpose/buying something triggers depression.

2. I AM PHYSICALLY LIMITED. For example todays gonna be like 28°C at the highest and if I don't go out within the next few hours I'm not gonnna be able to safely make it. (Hell probs if I don't go within the next hour)

Heat & sun is actually dangerous for some with physical health issues.

I've heard the go outside shit recently too. While I was in a flare up with my heart rate at 172bpm while just standing for 2 minutes.

Its so annoying like plz don't just suggest things when one is literally sick. I wish people would give out advice more thoughtfully but that would make it so they actually had to think before just saying some shit so

And honestly physicalhealth issues aside some of us have mental health issues that make going outside very painful. (Like emotional flashbacks triggered by looks for example)

Rant over. Self care looks different for everyone and sometimes self care is being on youtube and constantly distracted for example. Folks need get more varied in their suggestions/think about the actual person they are making said suggestions to.