T
TimeToBiteTheDust
Visionary
- Nov 7, 2019
- 2,322
What the fuck is that people saying to me? I want to die young. What kind of prolife excuse is that
What do you say to people who tell you have to keep on living because it's worth?It's such a generic and clichéd saying when they tell you that you have a lot to live for. Are they psychic? Because how do they know for sure our lives won't continue to get worse. It's also annoying because I can immediately tell that they don't understand.
I want to fucking vent too!It's such a generic and clichéd saying when they tell you that you have a lot to live for. Are they psychic? Because how do they know for sure our lives won't continue to get worse. It's also annoying because I can immediately tell that they don't understand.
I understand this perfectly."You have too many things to live for."
I'm that guy who everyone ignores, I'm not a person I'm an NPC to everyone who interacts with me in real life. I'm not a person in the eyes of others.
I was that weird kid in school people didn't really like, I was that weird coworker people didn''t like but pretended to like because he's good with computers and can save you when you are stuck with a problem because he's a natural at solving problems.
That's all I am at my best in the eyes of people, a tool, a guy who is "useful" but nothing more. I'm never an interesting guy, I'm never charismatic, or charming, or attractive, or loveable, or likeable, or funny. I'm never any of those things to others.
"You have too many things to live for"
This has been my life experience and I'm almost 30. I've played this game called "life" almost half way through it and I have yet to write myself a story like an actual person/human being.
No thanks, I don't have anything to live for. I'm done being a tool.
It feels so unfair, they've won the lottery of genes and we have to live for the sake of living while others live the real life.
Feeling like I watch through a window, like a observer unable to change things for the better.
I understand.
I think the same when they told me that I shouldn't kill myself and start to give me excuses to keep on living.They don't actually walk in my shoes.
Same. When I was younger, I often thought of myself as a "filler person", which is basically the same concept as an NPC. Nothing special about them, they just keep their heads down and do their jobs. Nothing they can do but observe.
Of course I'd love to be the heroine of the story, I have plenty of indignation at the injustices in the world. But seeing everything in such disarray with literally no ability to stop or even dull the pain going on in my or anyone else's life... You just get fucking tired.
They always tell you in times of crises to find a distraction, and that's been my go-to for years. But the pain always comes back. Always. I'm exhausted, I don't want to run anymore. I just want it to end.