“You have to take your health seriously”

[stoiccactus]

Interesting article in the WSJ:
https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness...lled-himself-could-i-have-stopped-it-bfd45eae

From the article:

After the appointment, Seth's mood seemed to lift. He was eager to pick up his new prescription. Maybe it would be that simple, I thought. In the car, though, I grew annoyed. "You have to take your health seriously," I said. I wanted Seth to pay attention to his dark feelings, not deny them, as usual. But nagging Seth never worked. Later, I would wish that I'd pulled over, held him tenderly and whispered, "It's going to be all right, I've got you."

We had a mellow afternoon. He exercised in the basement, we picked the children up from camp, got burritos and watched "Despicable Me." He was going to take his new medication and get a good night's sleep. That was the plan. That was also his last night.

Oh man does this trigger me! There is nothing I find more offensive and hurtful than the "recovery" story written by a spouse of someone who ctb'd which documents how annoyed they were with their partner's mental health struggles. There are about 10 TED talks like this where the partner says something like, "I never saw it" and then shows photos of a dude who hasn't smiled in 20 years because he's constantly being told to fix problems he can't control.

 

[rokonie]

sometimes i wonder how many ppl who claim "I never saw it coming" did see the signs or sensed that something was off, but just didn't care enough to reach out and ask because it would have been too much of a burden. And they lie that they had no clue because it helps them cope and believe nothing could have been done.

 

[emma99]

Iv already seen the idea that the only survivor of suicide is the relatives of someone who successfully ctb's.
Previously I would of used the term survivor to someone who failed in their attempt.

But yea, the idea that relatives are survivors is very
obnoxious and ignorant to those lad to ctb by years of abuse.

It actually gives a stage to abusers, I mean I could easily see my
mother take the spotlight on how devastated she would be if i ctb.

 

[stoiccactus]

Not even abusers, though. It's just like, there is such a stigma to discussing suicide and certain types of mental health such that we can't even seek support from the people closest to us. It's just like - when you seek out help for suicidality, everyone tells you to talk to the people closest to you and share your thoughts. But then when you do that people respond with platitudes (take your health seriously!) or worse punt you to some help line.

 

[SilentSadness]

That sounds so insensitive, how can they assert the person "denies their feelings". Maybe they just don't share them with you, because you describe them as "dark feelings" rather than legitimate.