Spiny Lobster
Member
- Jul 16, 2020
- 53
I've been nearly as suicidal as it gets this past month or so. I've gone cold turkey on all my meds, had constant intrusive thoughts of suicide but never finding the right method, and then going as far as to having the police being called on me (apparently the hotline operator thought that because I was doing some self-harm, my life was in immediate danger). All around, I've been having a hard time.
But for whatever reason, I'm feeling okay at the moment of writing this? A couple days ago, I had a good cry with my therapist and then took a nap, but when I woke up, I've started to feel a little bit better. Now I'm struggling to remember what it was like to be so suicidal, because I know that with the way things are going now, suicide is the only option for me -- whether I feel like it or not. My life is going to drag itself out and I'll end up falling all over again if I don't act on it sooner or later.
It's strange how your mood can just change like a light switch. It's awful; it's almost making me question everything I've felt. But in the end, I know what I have to do.
Have you guys ever experienced this? If so, how have you coped or even reframed things to make it easier to end your life as you should?
(DISCLAIMER: I am not saying it's the right choice for YOU, the reader. All I am saying is that it's the right choice for me, and maybe I'm not the only one in feeling that.)
Thanks for reading!
But for whatever reason, I'm feeling okay at the moment of writing this? A couple days ago, I had a good cry with my therapist and then took a nap, but when I woke up, I've started to feel a little bit better. Now I'm struggling to remember what it was like to be so suicidal, because I know that with the way things are going now, suicide is the only option for me -- whether I feel like it or not. My life is going to drag itself out and I'll end up falling all over again if I don't act on it sooner or later.
It's strange how your mood can just change like a light switch. It's awful; it's almost making me question everything I've felt. But in the end, I know what I have to do.
Have you guys ever experienced this? If so, how have you coped or even reframed things to make it easier to end your life as you should?
(DISCLAIMER: I am not saying it's the right choice for YOU, the reader. All I am saying is that it's the right choice for me, and maybe I'm not the only one in feeling that.)
Thanks for reading!