I agree this is abusive, and with everything
@cant cry said.
Doesn't mean people who abuse don't have problems, but you can't fix the problems or the person, you don't have that superpower. Right now he has power -- to bring you down to his depressed and anxious level, and if he maintains this position, to bring you eventually lower than where he is. And he will never be satisfied. Those who vampire, even the saddest ones, have to drain every last drop of life force, even though it never brings them the life force for themselves that they seek. So of course you feel drained.
I highly recommend doing some research on domestic violence, perhaps calling a DV hotline and talking about this incident to get some outside perspective. This negation sounds like a step on the path toward isolating you. His words reflect he will try to make you responsible for any verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive thing he does to you, and in fact he's already doing this. He sucks the joy and life out of your life-building and self-affirming accomplishments. If he can't have them, then in his mind, neither should you, and you're abusive for seeking and having them -- BULLSHIT.
Some recommended reading resources if you seek them as another form of support:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/resources-for-learning-boundaries.30500/
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/manipulation-tactics.31123/
