You do not need to be depressed to CTB.

[midstarscream]

I was watching this scene from Family Guy the other day. Brian has a gun and a drink in his bank safe. When stewie asks him why he has a gun, Brian says that he finds comfort in knowing there's a way out of all the madness.

I think it's deeper than that. The ability to CTB is to have control over your life. When life keeps fucking you over, you can sit it down and say "Hey, fuck you. You can't keep fucking me over. I have the power to end you."

My SN will hopefully be arriving soon.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, personally I'd find it such a comfort and relief if I had a way to painlessly free myself from this existence, an end to all the suffering is all I hope for, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

 

[dinosavr]

"Hey, fuck you. You can't keep fucking me over. I have the power to end you."

Yeah but technically indeed, you have the power to end it, but not without ending yourself either. And wanting to do that makes you depressed

 

[feelinggloomy]

I find comfort in knowing that if I really put my mind to it I could CTB. It's the only way I make it through the day

 

[iloveloving]

Agreed. I am suicidal but not depressed.

 

[KillingPain267]

I don't think that last part is what they meant, but it's true. The ability to end it yourself whenever you decide not only gives comfort but indeed power. Although if I had a gun I would go into the forest nearby right now and pull trigger immediately, or rather, I would have done so over a year ago.

 

[Jeebo5021]

There is freedom in the action. Of stopping the psychic pain. I'd have to be a paraplegic and have it taken away from me. Knowing that I could get away from all the hurt is a comforting feeling.

 

[BrokeJoblessGenXer]

I️ agree…I️ suffered from depression when I️ was younger and know what if feels like. I️'m not depressed now, I️'m just tired of trying to make life work and not having any success. I️'ve applied for over 1000 jobs over the past 18 months and there is nothing there. I️'m an overqualified, white, male Gen Xer and don't check any boxes that HR is looking for in a new executive. I️'ve been one of the final candidates so many times and not been selected, after as many as 17 interviews for a single position. It's so exhausting.

I️'m not angry about reverse discrimination. It is what it is. And I️ still can't stand the racist MAGA fucks making the world a place filled with hate.

I️'ve just accepted that my life has run its course. I️'ve had a good life, done lots of great things, had lots of fun and raised an incredible daughter.

But I️'m out of money, I️ have a couple of hundred thousand in debt, my credit cards are maxed out, have no health insurance and am homeless. I had to move in with my aging parents and have zero privacy, have them constantly asking questions and none of my childhood friends stilll around to hang out with.

So I️'m broke, alone, and have no options. As I️ said, it is what it Is and I️ have decided that I️ don't want to spend the rest of my natural life like this.

But I️'m not depressed. I️ actually feel better when I️ think about finally being done. The only reason I️ haven't done it already is because I don't want to leave my daughter. But I️ can't do anything for her any more except be a burden. I️ know it will be hard on her, but she'll get over it eventually.

 

[ctb2soble]

I was watching this scene from Family Guy the other day. Brian has a gun and a drink in his bank safe. When stewie asks him why he has a gun, Brian says that he finds comfort in knowing there's a way out of all the madness.

I think it's deeper than that. The ability to CTB is to have control over your life. When life keeps fucking you over, you can sit it down and say "Hey, fuck you. You can't keep fucking me over. I have the power to end you."

My SN will hopefully be arriving soon.

Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes. In fact I just explained this very concept to my husband yesterday. I told him that although I'm not actively suicidal, I find it comforting that I can opt out of this shit show the moment I feel like I am truly done. No waiting around for an accident or old age to take me down with a slew of illnesses and/or longterm injuries. Nope, I feel better knowing I can leave this world when and how I want to. It's very freeing.

 

[AbyssalAlien]

I was watching this scene from Family Guy the other day. Brian has a gun and a drink in his bank safe. When stewie asks him why he has a gun, Brian says that he finds comfort in knowing there's a way out of all the madness.

I think it's deeper than that. The ability to CTB is to have control over your life. When life keeps fucking you over, you can sit it down and say "Hey, fuck you. You can't keep fucking me over. I have the power to end you."

My SN will hopefully be arriving soon.

This is honestly my motive lately. Feels like I am in some shitty sic com and the Universe is the audience and director, just laughing at all my failures that it set up for me and then puppets people to gaslight me into believing its my fault and I deserve it.

A gun would be the perfect fuck you. Sorry cunt, shows over, go mess with someone elses life.

That is what I want to do the universe. To "God". A big fat fuck you to its show.

 

[SackOfCrap445]

I️ agree…I️ suffered from depression when I️ was younger and know what if feels like. I️'m not depressed now, I️'m just tired of trying to make life work and not having any success. I️'ve applied for over 1000 jobs over the past 18 months and there is nothing there. I️'m an overqualified, white, male Gen Xer and don't check any boxes that HR is looking for in a new executive. I️'ve been one of the final candidates so many times and not been selected, after as many as 17 interviews for a single position. It's so exhausting.

I️'m not angry about reverse discrimination. It is what it is. And I️ still can't stand the racist MAGA fucks making the world a place filled with hate.

I️'ve just accepted that my life has run its course. I️'ve had a good life, done lots of great things, had lots of fun and raised an incredible daughter.

But I️'m out of money, I️ have a couple of hundred thousand in debt, my credit cards are maxed out, have no health insurance and am homeless. I had to move in with my aging parents and have zero privacy, have them constantly asking questions and none of my childhood friends stilll around to hang out with.

So I️'m broke, alone, and have no options. As I️ said, it is what it Is and I️ have decided that I️ don't want to spend the rest of my natural life like this.

But I️'m not depressed. I️ actually feel better when I️ think about finally being done. The only reason I️ haven't done it already is because I don't want to leave my daughter. But I️ can't do anything for her any more except be a burden. I️ know it will be hard on her, but she'll get over it eventually.

I would strongly consider getting life insurace to cover your debt for your daughter + parents. Itd be a 2 year wait for the insurance claim to cover suicide but if youre confident that youll CTB, your daughter would stand to gain a ton of money when you finally do. I hope you dont CTB, but if you do, dont go out without making some money in the meantime.

 

[TAW122]

Absolutely and well said. It is rather infuriating and ignorant how mainstream society and most people the masses and normies often link CTB to depression or of unsound mind (with 'maybe' the exception of terminal illnesses), when we have so much evidence from history that people who CTB aren't necessarily depressed, some can be heroic (even less than a century ago, in WW2), some can be rational, and also even those who are just done with life and lived fairly well (as per standards of society even).

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I agree so much. If I had control as to whether I could die or not, I'd be so happy. I'd be the happiest person on this forum until I end it all by killing myself. If I had SN along with the other drugs that gets used alongside it, I'd be so happy. Unfortunately, this isn't the reality and the reality of life is that I am trapped with no control of my life. I am basically a prisoner of existence and there's nothing I can do about that sadly