Venting yet another SS close friend possibly dead

[KleinerWolf]

haven't seen her around for more than a month and half,

well I wish I didn't have the conversation with her regarding my own problem,
because there was confusion and misunderstanding built in for being delusional.

So some of you probably already know my major problem,
but basically she was curious and tipsy at the time when we had this particular conversation and asked if my situation would improve if she marries me lol
and it went downhill from there.

I feel really bad, because I'm a idealist often hanging on to unrealistic ideas/"false hopes" and I thought we could help each other or some shit.
I dont know what the f was going on in my head.

she later explained to me that she was under the influence and didnt mean it literally,
but what matters the most, as a SS internet friend, is that I hope she's okay.

Last time she spoke with me/other member, she was sorting sn and propranolol.
So it really isn't good.

I'm really sad because I was also in a soul-crushing situation, state of mind, but now I wish I had said something.
She was not her best when I last spoke to her.

I don't know. I just feel like it would be really sad if she killed herself.
And I don't know what to say to her if I'm to see her in another world.
I would probably cry like Im doing now.

I could've been a better friend.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I'm so sorry you feel this way. Had a close friend here I lost last year. Did I talk to her about it? Of course, but it wasn't my position to influence her either way, it was her personal decision.

Do I care that she went? Hell yeah. It hurts when I think about it, but I also know she was suffering greatly and felt broken beyond help in addition to her multiple health issues.

Point being, people come into and go out of our lives. Sometimes it's our fault, sometimes its not. But ultimately, everyone has to face death on their own terms and some choose to deal with it before their "time". That's their choice. Therefore, you should not feel guilty for something that is the most deeply personal decision one could make.

 

[WornOutLife]

Losing people we started talking and becoming friends sucks so much!
I've missed quite a few.

Wherever she is, I hope she's better than before and at peace.

 

[JOT]

I've been in the SS community for over two years and I've lost friends more than I can remember at this point. Some hit harder than others because I built up strong connections with them (even met them in rl). I sometimes wonder if all the exposure to suicide has desensitised me or if I'm just especially good at blocking out the grief. I miss them all and I go through the same "what if?" questions ever time. I can't offer you any advice because I haven't figured out the right way to feel myself yet, but I can tell you you're not alone in what you're going through.

 

[Pen>Sword]

I hope she reads this and understand your side of the story. She will understand. Don't blame yourself. If she's still alive and on break, time will heal her from the said conversation. This friend, wherever she is, I hope she finds peace.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I hope she reads this and understand your side of the story. She will understand. Don't blame yourself. If she's still alive and on break, time will heal her from the said conversation. This friend, wherever she is, I hope she finds peace.

I don't know if she is alive I certainly hope she is.

She was dealing with her own struggles,
and last time we spoke she was not doing too well due to the circumstances.
(it has nothing to do with the conversation we held in the past.)

 

[motel rooms]

It's a really bad idea to get attached to people like us

 

[wanttogetonthebus]

It's a really bad idea to get attached to people like us

That may be true but you still make me smile

 

[motel rooms]

That may be true but you still make me smile

Then react to my posts. Like 4 like?

It's a really bad idea to get attached to people like us

Ha. My husband really is crazy.