Yesterday was my birthday and i didn't feel happy

[randomguy]

Probabbly nobody is going to reply me because the universe has been making fun of me for years, like absolutely nothing makes sense and everything around me is just a very unreal nightmare. But I felt this impulse to write something today, because yesterday was my birthday and I didn't feel happy. As a "revenge" I will shut my insecurities up and vent a little here. My mother bought some japanese food and my little brother made some cookies for me. It's weird that all the time that I was with my family I just thought that nothing of that was real, just an ilusion of happiness that would not remain for the future. So as the September 5th was going, I just felt I didn't enjoy anything of the unic day of the year I had some reason to think I'm special and it made me more and more depressed. I don't believe in afterlife so I guess that every experience we're suposed to have we will have in this earth and it makes me a little halting about ctb, since some experiences are lovely, like music, I love music so much, and my family, I know they love me in ther way. But I can't get satisfaction for nothing anymore. My heart turned into a giant blackhole that swallows everything and never is satisfied. I'm alone when I'm writting this, and I can't think about nothing more than take my rope and start partial hanging on the backyard. I have a lot of experience in myself tho, and I don't think today is the day I'll do it , but it will come soon, I hope. At least I'm going to start planning, I'm a person that work better with planning to reach goals.That's it. Sorry for whoever read this giant text.

 

[satou]

I think feeling bad on your birthday happens exactly because we are expected to be happy.

 

[ScaredOfLife]

I'm sorry your birthday wasn't a happy day for you. I turned 40 this year and I wasn't happy either. I was hoping I could feel happy for such an important birthday but it didn't happen.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

my mother is in hospice so i went to see her on my b day last month with Ben and jerry's

 

[Ashpac]

Ive hated my birthday for years. Im used to it. I know how it feels though, everyone saying happy birthday to you and youre just thinking ''shut the fuck up and leave me alone'' but really you talk to them and thank them. Thats probably just me.

 

[randomguy]

Ive hated my birthday for years. Im used to it. I know how it feels though, everyone saying happy birthday to you and youre just thinking ''shut the fuck up and leave me alone'' but really you talk to them and thank them. Thats probably just me.

Yeah... that's how I feel

 

[Ashpac]

I will tell you how much i hate my birthday.

If I could i would leave my country the night before, go to my favourite place which is gran canaria, then come back the day after my birthday just so i dont have to be around anyone i know.

 

[Richie]

Yesterday was my bday and I didn't feel happy that low I cancelled my bday meal because I didn't want to see anybody only good thing is a year older a year closer to death Ive tryed to top my self a few times on my bday eve lol really would of liked to top my self yesterday but finding it hard to buy this nitrogen gas got a scuba mask in the post just needty find away to get this gas

 

[RM5998]

Probabbly nobody is going to reply me because the universe has been making fun of me for years, like absolutely nothing makes sense and everything around me is just a very unreal nightmare. But I felt this impulse to write something today, because yesterday was my birthday and I didn't feel happy. As a "revenge" I will shut my insecurities up and vent a little here. My mother bought some japanese food and my little brother made some cookies for me. It's weird that all the time that I was with my family I just thought that nothing of that was real, just an ilusion of happiness that would not remain for the future. So as the September 5th was going, I just felt I didn't enjoy anything of the unic day of the year I had some reason to think I'm special and it made me more and more depressed. I don't believe in afterlife so I guess that every experience we're suposed to have we will have in this earth and it makes me a little halting about ctb, since some experiences are lovely, like music, I love music so much, and my family, I know they love me in ther way. But I can't get satisfaction for nothing anymore. My heart turned into a giant blackhole that swallows everything and never is satisfied. I'm alone when I'm writting this, and I can't think about nothing more than take my rope and start partial hanging on the backyard. I have a lot of experience in myself tho, and I don't think today is the day I'll do it , but it will come soon, I hope. At least I'm going to start planning, I'm a person that work better with planning to reach goals.That's it. Sorry for whoever read this giant text.

Well, so we share the same birthday and have the same reaction to the event. Join the club, and I hope you get to leave ASAP.

 

[mattwitt]

Well...

 

[PatKat]

I hope to be dead before my next birthday Oct 22nd...

 

[mattwitt]

I hope to be dead before my next birthday Oct 22nd...

Me too... Nov. 11th

 

[PatKat]

Me too... Nov. 11th

Good luck! What is your method?

 

[mattwitt]

Good luck! What is your method?

Going to sleep really fast and never waking up. : )

 

[Phro]

I'm sorry about your birthday.

 

[GoingSoonish]

I absolutely hate my birthday. I try not to tell anyone so it doesn't get noticed. It's pretty much a day of mourning but i too keep up the facade if i have to do so. I hate all the other "important" days too. The forced interaction makes it all seem fake. If you love your mom, you wouldn't wait until "mothers day" to finally give her a ring and take her out. Just do it whenever you can, or all the time. I don't get it.