Dark Spring
Sobreviviendo
- Sep 29, 2020
- 116
Well, I'm going to tell a little bit of my story.
At the end of 2019 I found out the reason why my mom is fighting with her brother and all the lies I've been living.
It all started in December when my cousin decided to tell me, after 6 years, what had happened, in short my dad had been abusing her when she came to my house during our childhood and adolescence. Six years ago, she told everything that had happened to the whole family, except for me and my brothers. After she told me everything that had happened I didn't know what to do, my father was always one of the best people for me and I didn't know what to believe. I chose to believe her, after all I had no reason to lie about something so serious. A war started in my head about who the good guys were, obviously I stopped talking to my father because of the disgust I felt thinking about all the things I had been told. I have been terribly depressed since that day, about 5 months ago I started therapy to get better, I felt a lot of weight knowing this and not doing anything. My psychologist recommended that I talk to my mother at least, I finally did it yesterday, I invited her to walk in the park and I told her everything, everything that I knew, what I had been told, obviously she told me her version of the facts, that she received threats from my cousins, from her brother and that for a long time I doubted about what had happened, she told me about my cousin's attitudes that she had before and after accusing my father of being an abuser that made her doubt about whether it was a lie or the truth. I do not know what to believe the truth, I am very confused, my dad continues to disgust me because of that image I was told about him.
The worst thing came after talking to my mom, I was really upset about the situation and I told her that many times I thought about "disappearing", that made her very angry, she said that if I did something like that she would "take care of my cousin".
I feel like I ruined everything, I should never have said that, I will never be able to leave in peace after she told me what she would do.
I'm sorry to bore you with my story, it's just that I needed to get it off my chest, I thought that if I talked to her she would take a load off my mind but on the contrary, now I feel like I'm carrying a backpack a thousand times heavier.
At the end of 2019 I found out the reason why my mom is fighting with her brother and all the lies I've been living.
It all started in December when my cousin decided to tell me, after 6 years, what had happened, in short my dad had been abusing her when she came to my house during our childhood and adolescence. Six years ago, she told everything that had happened to the whole family, except for me and my brothers. After she told me everything that had happened I didn't know what to do, my father was always one of the best people for me and I didn't know what to believe. I chose to believe her, after all I had no reason to lie about something so serious. A war started in my head about who the good guys were, obviously I stopped talking to my father because of the disgust I felt thinking about all the things I had been told. I have been terribly depressed since that day, about 5 months ago I started therapy to get better, I felt a lot of weight knowing this and not doing anything. My psychologist recommended that I talk to my mother at least, I finally did it yesterday, I invited her to walk in the park and I told her everything, everything that I knew, what I had been told, obviously she told me her version of the facts, that she received threats from my cousins, from her brother and that for a long time I doubted about what had happened, she told me about my cousin's attitudes that she had before and after accusing my father of being an abuser that made her doubt about whether it was a lie or the truth. I do not know what to believe the truth, I am very confused, my dad continues to disgust me because of that image I was told about him.
The worst thing came after talking to my mom, I was really upset about the situation and I told her that many times I thought about "disappearing", that made her very angry, she said that if I did something like that she would "take care of my cousin".
I feel like I ruined everything, I should never have said that, I will never be able to leave in peace after she told me what she would do.
I'm sorry to bore you with my story, it's just that I needed to get it off my chest, I thought that if I talked to her she would take a load off my mind but on the contrary, now I feel like I'm carrying a backpack a thousand times heavier.
