yesterday everything went to shit

[scubadam]

yesterday was the first day of my final HS year. everything i missed during the summer break came back, my friends, the classes, my teachers. i had an appointment for my first driving lesson today. i was looking forward for a longly anticipated trip that was to start next friday; in the evening i went to meet with the guys i was supposed to go there with. i was so happy that it all started well for me

but of course, it all went to shit. i had an accident (which was 100% my fucking fault), which most probably will leave me unable to do anything for the following months

i can't fucking walk without crutches, and bending my leg in even a slightly wrong way brings me so much pain; i got a medication based on codeine prescribed for it. opioids at 18, fucking awesome. i have to take shots with meds every day, i'm doing them myself. as my hands are occupied all the time, doing anything while standing or walking is pretty much not possible for me. my room is slowly becoming a mess and i can't even vacuum by myself, and asking my parents to do that feels terrible. i can't clean my cat's litterbox or bring her water. my friends are very helpful, but having somebody bring me water during class or walk around with my books is extremely humiliating, even if they promise they don't mind that and they are happy to help. i have always been the person to help everybody else, but right now, i can't even fucking tie shoes on my own

the worst part? i can't fucking continue with my training for my dream job for at least few months from now. i would do everything to do that, put all my time, effort and money into it, but because of me being a dumb fuck i can't do that anymore for god knows how long

tomorrow i'll have more tests, which will determine how bad are my injuries. depending on the results, we'll see for how long will i be unable to live my normal life. i feel that i will get the worst answer, which will demand a surgery

i'm 11 months and 2 weeks clean from SH as of today, but i can feel this coming to an end

 

[Little_Suzy]

You've been injured, and you need a plan. You should request that your insurance provider send a private nurse and caregiver to your home.

Maybe you can do most of your class assignments from home and attend in-person classes for exams, labs, social events, etc. It is horrible right now, but it will pass. Many people sustain serious injuries when they are young, but we recover well over time. Crutches 'effin' suck, but they are temporary. Can you get a motorized wheelchair?

 

[scubadam]

You've been injured, and you need a plan. You should request that your insurance provider send a private nurse and caregiver to your home.

Maybe you can do most of your class assignments from home and attend in-person classes for exams, labs, social events, etc. It is horrible right now, but it will pass. Many people sustain serious injuries when they are young, but we recover well over time. Crutches 'effin' suck, but they are temporary. Can you get a motorized wheelchair?

i'm living with my parents, so this one is not a problem technically

honestly, i both can't and don't want to do online stuff. i live close to my school and have a way of getting there which doesn't require much walking, so it's fine really. motorized isn't possible, but if it turns out i'll need a surgery, i will rent a wheelchair for sure. i'll need to use crutches at home tho, my room is on the first floor w/o a lift (or a possibility to get one)

i'll manage somehow, i got work to do. it will eventually pass and/or get better, but it will require a lot of patience from me, which will be hard. thank you for your kind reply suz

 

[scubadam]

also, something i forgot to initially add is that because im not going to that trip i lost over 1200 usd

anyway, update: i got an orthosis and i can finally go to the bathroom by myself without the stupid crutches, i cant put on my shoes though. shit sucks. it doesn't hurt as bad as it used to all the time, but at times i still get pain which is unbearable. people at school try to help me all the time, which is very nice but i feel bad for it at the same time

had another tests yesterday, i might need to wait for the results up to 5 weeks for the results which is complete bs, because if i need an operation i should get it NOW. my health provider system (or however is that called) is annoying as fuck, i might need to get into private one