Yes- person or No- person?

[Susannah]

Do you consider yourself to be a YES- person or NO- person? I'm definately a yes- person. I used to think of this as a positive thing (I was brought up this way). Later in life, I've come to the conclusion that it's much more difficult to say NO than YES.

I'm really struggling to set limits, say NO when people ask me to help them, with practical things or psychological matters. I really admire people who know when to say NO.

I would like to know whether there's a connection between being a YES- person and depression?

 

[BPD Barbie]

I find it so hard to say no to people. It's got me into some tricky situations let me tell you that.

 

[Pallf]

I'm definitely a yes person. Always been a people pleaser. Sometimes that meant decreasing happiness for me in order to increase happinesses for others. Non-reciprocation has made me jaded and depressed.

 

[noaccount]

A "haha fuck no" person

 

[Sensei]

I know it sounds like cheating, but if I should be completely honest, I'm a "let me think about it first" person.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

a no person who always felt guilty because of it; always had to force myself to go out even with my best friends.

edit: as a kid I was the ultimate "I want to go home" person

 

[Susannah]

I know it sounds like cheating, but if I should be completely honest, I'm a "let me think about it first" person.

And then you end up saying......?

 

[enjoy]

i get so squeamish trying to say no to people but i've been slowly learning how to do it. i used to be a big 'yes' person though.

 

[Susannah]

a no person who always felt guilty because of it; always had to force myself to go out even with my best friends.

edit: as a kid I was the ultimate "I want to go home" person

Feel no guilt! I admire you ❤

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I find it so hard to say no to people. It's got me into some tricky situations let me tell you that.

easy in a world full of abusers

Feel no guilt! I admire you ❤

thanks but if you never get to see me face to face and I ghost you for months on end there's no way for you to admire me lol

 

[a_strange_day]

Both.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm a 'you are kidding aren't you?' Person.
Yeah I know, had to be a smart arse.

 

[Susannah]

i get so squeamish trying to say no to people but i've been slowly learning how to do it. i used to be a big 'yes' person though.

I would love to know how you've worked on this/learnt to say NO.
LoveS

 

[k75]

I'd say I'm in between. A maybe person? LOL

 

[Susannah]

Both.

So you're balanced....?

 

[a_strange_day]

So you're balanced....?

I like to think so :)

 

[Sensei]

And then you end up saying......?

Depends. When I have thought it through I can say both YES! and NO! very resolutely.

 

[Midnight]

I'm definitely a yes person. Always been a people pleaser. Sometimes that meant decreasing happiness for me in order to increase happinesses for others.

Story of my life... Sorry to hear you're in the same boat. I spent large amounts of money and deteriorated my own mental health a great deal this way. I curse my people pleasing character. Knowing full well i'm being used or taken advantage of i go out of my way to do so ... I'm too smart to be that stupid (if that makes sense) yet i do it anyway. It's just ridiculous.

I do realise that part of it comes from search for companionship. But man it's brought me nothing but bad things. (No surprise there because society is fucked up in that way)

 

[1DayItWillBover]

depends on the situation.

Need help at work? sure
Need me to help you move on my day off? nah

 

[dandan]

I've been a no-er since depression.
"Lets go party" , no.
"Thats pretty" , no it's not.
More than a no-er a "contrarian" too.

 

[TheSuicidalEccentric]

I just want to die

 

[Mr2005]

Do I want to spend time with my neighbour? Nope. Is it because I don't like him? Nope. Do I know how to say no without him thinking I don't? Nope. So I guess I'm a no person in every sense but I do go along with it every once in a while. Feel guilty if I don't

 

[Scooby-Doo]

I'm a yes person even though my head says no. I get took advantage of and get really pissed off with myself for saying yes. I'm too soft.

 

[Mr2005]

Since writing that he's knocked so I'm pretending not to be in

 

[Epsilon0]

Me = the biggest yes-person and people-pleaser in the universe. It's something I have struggled with my whole life.

The one good thing my illness has done for me was to teach me to say no.

No, no, no!!!

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I am "I don't know" kind of person

 

[Final Escape]

I'm a no person a lot of the time. More of a no than yes. At one time I was more a yes person in the young days. Actually no I was disagreeable even back then. I wouldn't do anything unless I percieved a benefit lol! I became more of a no person after having bad experiences with shitty people and being a people pleaser.

 

[Sayo]

A no person. I was a yes person raised by yes people, but it really just broke me, because I wasn't as much of a yes person as them and I got the worst of both worlds. I still struggle saying no due to the guilt induced by that abuse, so I tend to just avoid people entirely and struggle to maintain contact with people.

No one can decide whether I am unusually agreeable or disagreeable, which has kind of fucked with my head.

 

[Susannah]

Since writing that he's knocked so I'm pretending not to be in

I tried to use emojis "laugh" and "thumbs up".