Story Years ago, I had an acquaintance who talked about being at peace with dying

[TAW122]

In the past (may have written it in another thread over a year ago), I mentioned how I had an acquaintance who at a get together (social event), at the home I'm renting from with two other roommates made a comment stating that if he died young, there would be no regrets and in general, he was satisfied with where he was in life. I was 27 years old at the time and my peers are also around similar in age, him being a year or two older than me. I'll refer to him as CJ as he a cultural Christian. Make no mistake, he is still as pro-life as usual, but at least had the ability to see reality for what it is, yet he may still live in denial and follow his instincts. Of course, there is no surprise as my two other roommates, devout religious pro-lifers immediately expressed concern and disapproval over CJ's statements. I mainly kept silent.

Additionally, he stated that he has accomplished his goals and lived pretty well (according to his standards and such). He also mentioned that when it comes to desires and goals, there will always be MORE and he isn't wrong about it. Life is a never-ending journey of copes, pleasures, and distraction from harms (boredom, suffering, etc.). A bit of background on him is that he is a football coach and also a substitute/fill teacher for kids with disabilities/special needs. Therefore, he even stated that if he died the next day, he would have no regrets (there is some modicum of truth as those who no longer exist won't have the ability/capacity to feel regret or anything – just nothingness). Sure, there would be bigger and bigger goals with sports, with his job and career, and his other ambitions and pursuits. How I felt about this situation is some relief knowing that I'm not the only person who has similar sentiments when it comes to life and being at peace with dying.

Anyways, so this story is the reason I wrote this thread. It basically raised the question of: "what would happen if I died now/tomorrow/soon? Would I be at peace, satisfied with what I had up to that point?" Fairly frequently and especially after reaching my goals and milestones I've set in life, I often ask myself these questions. At such times I often answer yes, especially if I know that I have reached a good stopping point, improved to the point of where I can see myself being ok with my predicament and tying up loose ends and ending on a high note to be a good stopping point. Additionally, I had watched a philosophy major (don't think his videos existed anymore as they are from 2010 or 2011 on YouTube) talk about happiness as well as goals and newer goals.

So with that said, what are your thoughts on this? Do you have times where you have made peace with death with respect to the things you have in your life and such?

 

[Aim]

In the past (may have written it in another thread over a year ago), I mentioned how I had an acquaintance who at a get together (social event), at the home I'm renting from with two other roommates made a comment stating that if he died young, there would be no regrets and in general, he was satisfied with where he was in life. I was 27 years old at the time and my peers are also around similar in age, him being a year or two older than me. I'll refer to him as CJ as he a cultural Christian. Make no mistake, he is still as pro-life as usual, but at least had the ability to see reality for what it is, yet he may still live in denial and follow his instincts. Of course, there is no surprise as my two other roommates, devout religious pro-lifers immediately expressed concern and disapproval over CJ's statements. I mainly kept silent.

Additionally, he stated that he has accomplished his goals and lived pretty well (according to his standards and such). He also mentioned that when it comes to desires and goals, there will always be MORE and he isn't wrong about it. Life is a never-ending journey of copes, pleasures, and distraction from harms (boredom, suffering, etc.). A bit of background on him is that he is a football coach and also a substitute/fill teacher for kids with disabilities/special needs. Therefore, he even stated that if he died the next day, he would have no regrets (there is some modicum of truth as those who no longer exist won't have the ability/capacity to feel regret or anything – just nothingness). Sure, there would be bigger and bigger goals with sports, with his job and career, and his other ambitions and pursuits. How I felt about this situation is some relief knowing that I'm not the only person who has similar sentiments when it comes to life and being at peace with dying.

Anyways, so this story is the reason I wrote this thread. It basically raised the question of: "what would happen if I died now/tomorrow/soon? Would I be at peace, satisfied with what I had up to that point?" Fairly frequently and especially after reaching my goals and milestones I've set in life, I often ask myself these questions. At such times I often answer yes, especially if I know that I have reached a good stopping point, improved to the point of where I can see myself being ok with my predicament and tying up loose ends and ending on a high note to be a good stopping point. Additionally, I had watched a philosophy major (don't think his videos existed anymore as they are from 2010 or 2011 on YouTube) talk about happiness as well as goals and newer goals.

So with that said, what are your thoughts on this? Do you have times where you have made peace with death with respect to the things you have in your life and such?

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe it makes so much sense to feel at peace with leaving this existence, it's all we are intended for anyway, and once one dies everything will be forgotten about which is why the only thought of death comforts me, only ceasing to exist is desirable to me as one cannot suffer from the absence of everything.

 

[リンさん]

I am in general not fearful of death, because it's something I can't experience with senses of my body (because they all stop, obviously). I can experience dying, but I'm not afraid of it either.

Therefore if I were to die, I wouldn't have the capacity for regret. But right now, when I'm still alive in this form, there are things I want to do and feel like I can achieve. I want to see this life through, and at least accomplish my biggest "goals". This is the current stage of my life.

When I feel like Im finally done, and this can happen at any point, there will no longer be a need for me to stay. I find it strange to drag out your own existence when all that is left is chasing occasional joy.

 

[samsara_96]

Do you have times where you have made peace with death with respect to the things you have in your life and such?

Yes, but not because I achieved things that I originally wanted to achieve. I simply came to realize that modern life is full of empty achievements that can only drain one's hopes and dreams, leaving behind a rotten soul who is physically unwell and mentally agitated. People get tricked by the illusion of material success to engage in morally corrupt behaviors just to claim superiority to other men. However when they reach that material success, they are even more greedy, more unwell, more unsatisfied and less human. If you deny to be part of this superiority game, then you are deemed inferior to others and you get robbed from your right to live a dignified life. You get reduced to a wage worker who can claim no significance in human society.

But what they don't see is that a thing can only exist if there is a mind who remembers it. Human mind relies on causality to understand the world and if there are no traces (which can either be the event itself or its cause) of the event X, then the mind can't even think about the event's existence. Sooner or later, the modern civilization will cease to exist. If it manages to leave a trace behind it, I doubt that it will be more than a few shopping malls and fancy guns. Thus, the meaning of life shouldn't be defined with modern achievements. It should be something more universal. I believe that the most meaningful life is being respected by others in a loving community. However, the respected elites in the 21st century are hated by their communities because of social inequalities and the "common" people lack the right to be respected. Hence, it is not possible to live a meaningful life in 21 century unless you live in an isolated happy community.

So, I am satisfied with what I have in my life because I don't think that there exists a scenario in which I would approach a happier life. I also made complete peace with death but, it is not because of my achievements. It is merely because of the way I judge our existence.

 

[SilentSadness]

I don't mind dying whenever. But, I would be fearful of dying in a brutal way, which sadly seems to be the most common way.

 

[TAW122]

Just as a bump to my thread, I want to add that there were a few times during my lifetime where I did feel that way, and generally it is at the peaks of accomplishments like after fulfilling a monumental goal that I had in mind. The times where I may not be totally at peace is when I still have stuff to do and if I couldn't make it, then I would suffer. For example, the peaks were in early 2018 and mid-late 2019. I fulfilled my various personal goals and there were times where I thought to myself, well if I died in my sleep or just didn't wake up the next day, I'd be ok - because I already won. At least that's the mentality. However, during times where I'm still close to a goal or some goal I care about, while I may not have perception of death (if I did die - because I would lack the ability to experience loss, suffering, or anything), during my sentience and while my goal was in progress, I could experience regret. I do wish that if I ever find myself unable to progress a goal and facing death that I wouldn't suffer too long while experiencing failure. I hope this additional information made sense.

I believe it makes so much sense to feel at peace with leaving this existence, it's all we are intended for anyway, and once one dies everything will be forgotten about which is why the only thought of death comforts me, only ceasing to exist is desirable to me as one cannot suffer from the absence of everything.

Yes, once one is gone from this world, even their perception of loss or anything in particular is no longer perceivable or relevant as they would lack the ability to do so while being non-sentient. It is only the sentient (the people who are still alive and conscious) that can experience pain, suffering, pleasure, and all the problems of the world. In other words, I agree with you, and I too, have felt similarly in the past.

I am in general not fearful of death, because it's something I can't experience with senses of my body (because they all stop, obviously). I can experience dying, but I'm not afraid of it either.

Therefore if I were to die, I wouldn't have the capacity for regret. But right now, when I'm still alive in this form, there are things I want to do and feel like I can achieve. I want to see this life through, and at least accomplish my biggest "goals". This is the current stage of my life.

When I feel like Im finally done, and this can happen at any point, there will no longer be a need for me to stay. I find it strange to drag out your own existence when all that is left is chasing occasional joy.

Interesting perspective and for me yeah I've fulfilled many goals in my existence, and I suppose when things become too unbearable, plus other circumstances, time, and conditions are right, I'd also CTB just to avoid the future worst outcomes. In short, one such example would be like if I suddenly end up with horrible disability, impairment, handicap, or severe enough illness with poor prognosis, it's basically game over for me.

Yes, but not because I achieved things that I originally wanted to achieve. I simply came to realize that modern life is full of empty achievements that can only drain one's hopes and dreams, leaving behind a rotten soul who is physically unwell and mentally agitated. People get tricked by the illusion of material success to engage in morally corrupt behaviors just to claim superiority to other men. However when they reach that material success, they are even more greedy, more unwell, more unsatisfied and less human. If you deny to be part of this superiority game, then you are deemed inferior to others and you get robbed from your right to live a dignified life. You get reduced to a wage worker who can claim no significance in human society.

But what they don't see is that a thing can only exist if there is a mind who remembers it. Human mind relies on causality to understand the world and if there are no traces (which can either be the event itself or its cause) of the event X, then the mind can't even think about the event's existence. Sooner or later, the modern civilization will cease to exist. If it manages to leave a trace behind it, I doubt that it will be more than a few shopping malls and fancy guns. Thus, the meaning of life shouldn't be defined with modern achievements. It should be something more universal. I believe that the most meaningful life is being respected by others in a loving community. However, the respected elites in the 21st century are hated by their communities because of social inequalities and the "common" people lack the right to be respected. Hence, it is not possible to live a meaningful life in 21 century unless you live in an isolated happy community.

So, I am satisfied with what I have in my life because I don't think that there exists a scenario in which I would approach a happier life. I also made complete peace with death but, it is not because of my achievements. It is merely because of the way I judge our existence.

That's a spot on perspective and interesting take for sure. While in the eyes of others' my goals and achievements (which mean a lot to me) my achievements and goals hold little weight to them as it has almost no bearing whatsoever to them. However, for me, it means a lot since it allows me to feel good and at least have a tolerable enough life to not just CTB and just to hold on a little longer. There does come a point where I won't be able to hold on, but I believe that between the present and up until that inevitable moment, I want to at least be as fulfilled as possible, in other words, reach my best form before I CTB. I suppose I had a similar mindset to those who are on their deathbeds (people near end of life), so for me from present and until that moment or close, I want to make the most out of it. This way, I can have no regrets in my last moments; not that the universe as far as it is concerned (the universe is a rather non-sentient entity).

I don't mind dying whenever. But, I would be fearful of dying in a brutal way, which sadly seems to be the most common way.

I share the same sentiments as well, I'm not afraid of death as long as the process of dying isn't uncomfortable or very painful. If I had a peaceful, dignified exit, I would absolutely choose that avenue of death, but sadly I don't. Therefore, I go for a method that is quick, painless, and reliable (if done right) albeit messy.