Xanax/Alprazolam was the only thing keeping me somewhat functional and now I'm developing a tolerance

[dihgdsoigd]

I have severe anxiety and depression. Like anxiety so severe that I can't get out of bed. So I used to take Xanax like every few days...limited myself to max 2 mg. Now I take it almost every day, max 2 mg, but developing a tolerance towards it. It used to help me for a few hours...give me that euphoric feeling and help me survive throughout the day. I'd take 1 mg during the day, and 1 mg later on. Now I am developing a tolerance and I am scared. I was so anxious I couldn't get out of bed yet, took 1 mg this morning and it worked for like an hour or two and now it's gone. My anxiety is somewhat better but I still feel completely depressed/dead inside. I have to survive working and can't move back in with abusive family again. I'm already on an antidepressant that I've been on for months that doesn't do shit. I tell this to my psychiatrist and she just tells me to wait it out but I can't. I used to be on Abilify/Aripiprazole and that helped a little bit but even on the lowest dose I was ravenously hungry all the time. Again, beg her for alternatives during every visit and she refuses to add another antipsychotic to the mix. The horrible anxiety and depression makes me determined to CTB, along with other things.

 

[d33per]

Well, if need be, change your psychiatrist. That's already an essential option, but I suspect, that your psychiatrist is for the moment on the right track. U don't seem to be psychotic. You are just in a state of panic constantly. You are not delusional as far as I understand the situation. You need to grow eventually on your own. Benzodiazepines are not meant to be used for all eternity. You will develop a tolerance first, and then most certainly you will become severely addicted. What about neuroleptics? People with major panic issues might benefit from simple neuroleptics. Your doc should know all about it and much better than anyone on a pro-choice board like this one here. (Except of course someone on here is a psychiatrist too, hoho.)

What is the source of your despair, if I may ask? What's troubling you so much? You seem to be able to do your daily chores, so what gives? Is there anything that you ought to be afraid of so damn much? Realistically speaking....?

 

[Smart No More]

Alprazolam tolerance comes fast unfortunately. All benzos do. Eventually you will experience mid dose withrawals as a result. I would suggest asking to switch to something longer acting like diazepam or even Clonazepam. Your tolerance will always keep building though so the best thing to do it try to taper off and find another way to deal with this. You will need to taper using diazepam as xanax is too short acting for tapering needs. Personally I find zolpidem fills the void. Its still something you would need to use sparsely. Like once or twice per week tops. Another option might be zopiclone but it does leave you with an odd taste in your mouth. Some come to like it.

Truth is, even though benzos get prescribed long term they're really only good for short to mid term treatment. They bottom out eventually and the withdrawal is dangerous and hellish.

Finding alternative solutions has become a bit of a goal of mine but it seems there's is only so much you can do on that front so I currently stick to zolpidem and occasionally lorazepam but even with large tolerance breaks I still seem to have significant tolerance to the lorazepam whereas I can lose tolerance to the zolpidem. Its gor a much harder hitting feeling to it too. Almost trippy in a nice way. I guess that's the hypnotic value of it.

The best you can do is go into your appointments armed with info and suggestions. If she isn't listening you have to ditch her and find a better psychiatrist. Feel for you man. It's horribly helpless to be in these situations at times and eats away at you when trying to improve.

 

[dihgdsoigd]

Well, if need be, change your psychiatrist. That's already an essential option, but I suspect, that your psychiatrist is for the moment on the right track. U don't seem to be psychotic. You are just in a state of panic constantly. You are not delusional as far as I understand the situation. You need to grow eventually on your own. Benzodiazepines are not meant to be used for all eternity. You will develop a tolerance first, and then most certainly you will become severely addicted. What about neuroleptics? People with major panic issues might benefit from simple neuroleptics. Your doc should know all about it and much better than anyone on a pro-choice board like this one here. (Except of course someone on here is a psychiatrist too, hoho.)

What is the source of your despair, if I may ask? What's troubling you so much? You seem to be able to do your daily chores, so what gives? Is there anything that you ought to be afraid of so damn much? Realistically speaking....?

I have detailed in my other posts...but I have suffered a lifetime of abuse due to my mother/family. Unfortunately I am still in contact with her/them because they have threatened to ruined my life otherwise (they know where I live/work and are only 15 minutes away). And I am OBSESSED and constantly worried about everything falling apart.

 

[d33per]

Without having looked at the details, you need to fix that. No meds in the world will make you functional as long as this threat persists. Authorities? Private action...?
Whatever the nature of the abuse and bullying at the moment might be - you cannot fix it through meds.
Talk to your therapist about this very specific issue. She might give you some concrete advise on what to do here.

I can just say: Do not allow others to run your life. No matter, what they threaten to do or actually do to you.

That is non-acceptable.

 

[SadGirl]

I also have the same problem, and I understand you in the part of going to the doctor and he doesn't prescribe something that improves the situation. I take antidepressants too, Sertraline and Quetiapine, and Clonazapam (only when it gives me anxiety attacks). In fact as much as Xanax, Clonazepam and all of the benzodiazepine family are addictive. Where your body gets used to a dose and needs to be increased. It's a vicious cycle that I go through too. I have a goal of not taking Clonazepam for a while, a month. Try talking to your doctor again, if there is no result try switching doctors if possible. Hope you get better, and don't give up. Hugs friend.

 

[whywere]

I agree with the others here, as far as I would seek out a new psychiatrist. I went through 3 and looking for my 4th one. I have found, at least in my experience, like my pain doctor aspect, that if the doctor does not want to include me in their assessment of me, then out they go. It is together NOT apart that makes a good outcome.

Also, I have had Clonazepam for a long time, BUT I only take it up to 4 days in a row, then wait. Clonazepam withdrawal is way worse than like Opioids or other drugs. Like @Smart No More stated that withdrawal is hellish. YES, that is why I never take it more than 4 days at a time. I have seen folks who have to be hospitalized to withdrawal from it and it can take weeks. NOW, everyone is different, and that last statement is not intended to be a one size fits all, BUT, at least for me, I will not throw the dice and gamble whether I have to go through hellish withdrawals from it. I am on Opioids from a car crash, will be for life and I am very careful with those also.

Please take good care of yourself, sending you lots of hugs, love and caring and bright blue skies.

Walter

 

[dihgdsoigd]

Without having looked at the details, you need to fix that. No meds in the world will make you functional as long as this threat persists. Authorities? Private action...?
Whatever the nature of the abuse and bullying at the moment might be - you cannot fix it through meds.
Talk to your therapist about this very specific issue. She might give you some concrete advise on what to do here.

I can just say: Do not allow others to run your life. No matter, what they threaten to do or actually do to you.

That is non-acceptable.

I will talk to my therapist, but not allowing them to run my life is waaay easier said than done, especially while living in the United States of Shitmerica.
Also, I REALLY appreciate all of the support from you guys on this forum. I know I have been manically posting, but I have been really needing this support. Thank you all so much. Please don't ban me. If I make any violations to rules, please let me know. I really need a forum like this right now in my life.

 

[whywere]

I will talk to my therapist, but not allowing them to run my life is waaay easier said than done, especially while living in the United States of Shitmerica.

I also live in the U.S., upper Midwest and yes, it is a complex zoo to get through, the doctors, insurance, heck everything, but it is worth it. I remember telling a psychiatrist that they were fired, their ego could hardly understand and/or take it and I walked out and found a new one.

All my best to you and lots of hugs!!

Walter

 

[dihgdsoigd]

I also live in the U.S., upper Midwest and yes, it is a complex zoo to get through, the doctors, insurance, heck everything, but it is worth it. I remember telling a psychiatrist that they were fired, their ego could hardly understand and/or take it and I walked out and found a new one.

All my best to you and lots of hugs!!

Walter

Thank you so much *hugs*. I live in the Northeast. Much appreciated.

 

[Smart No More]

I agree with the others here, as far as I would seek out a new psychiatrist. I went through 3 and looking for my 4th one. I have found, at least in my experience, like my pain doctor aspect, that if the doctor does not want to include me in their assessment of me, then out they go. It is together NOT apart that makes a good outcome.

Also, I have had Clonazepam for a long time, BUT I only take it up to 4 days in a row, then wait. Clonazepam withdrawal is way worse than like Opioids or other drugs. Like @Smart No More stated that withdrawal is hellish. YES, that is why I never take it more than 4 days at a time. I have seen folks who have to be hospitalized to withdrawal from it and it can take weeks. NOW, everyone is different, and that last statement is not intended to be a one size fits all, BUT, at least for me, I will not throw the dice and gamble whether I have to go through hellish withdrawals from it. I am on Opioids from a car crash, will be for life and I am very careful with those also.

Please take good care of yourself, sending you lots of hugs, love and caring and bright blue skies.

Walter

The good think with some opioids (eg methadone) is that you can use the same dose indefinitely and whilst you're no doubt addicted there's never an issue of withdrawal or the need to up dosage. Of course you do nees to maintain a regular prescription but that's the same with any meds.

Honestly, from a place of love, I have to say I think you may be pushing your luck a bit with even the 4 days use of the clonozepam. 3days is absolute tops for me and then I have to leave it around a month before using again. I do have an oddly naturally high tolerance for benzos and opiates though. I'm a lightweight with some other drugs. I used a responsible mixture of benzos and Z drugs for a week and stopped dead only to experience withdrawals after a couple of days without. The worst of that lasted around a week before improving exponentially day by day. I dread to think what I'd experience after months of use. I tried various patterns of use after that and for me I can only get away with occasional use of one or two days at a time. I guess everyone is different though. There are some that manage to avoid withdrawal even after extended use. I've no idea why that is. Neither do doctors lol.

Anyone interested in reducing and tapering off benzos should look up the Ashton Manual. It's the cutting/bleeding edge of benzo info. Some very rmprecise info available there that really works.
There are some suppliments and drugs that are good for improving your gaba health. L theanine comes to mind.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I'm also taking sertraline and cloxam (benzos) and I'm afraid they will stop working but so far so good. I'm also afraid of getting addicted to benzos :/

The good think with some opioids (eg methadone) is that you can use the same dose indefinitely and whilst you're no doubt addicted there's never an issue of withdrawal or the need to up dosage. Of course you do nees to maintain a regular prescription but that's the same with any meds.

Honestly, from a place of love, I have to say I think you may be pushing your luck a bit with even the 4 days use of the clonozepam. 3days is absolute tops for me and then I have to leave it around a month before using again. I do have an oddly naturally high tolerance for benzos and opiates though. I'm a lightweight with some other drugs. I used a responsible mixture of benzos and Z drugs for a week and stopped dead only to experience withdrawals after a couple of days without. The worst of that lasted around a week before improving exponentially day by day. I dread to think what I'd experience after months of use. I tried various patterns of use after that and for me I can only get away with occasional use of one or two days at a time. I guess everyone is different though. There are some that manage to avoid withdrawal even after extended use. I've no idea why that is. Neither do doctors lol.

Anyone interested in reducing and tapering off benzos should look up the Ashton Manual. It's the cutting/bleeding edge of benzo info. Some very rmprecise info available there that really works.
There are some suppliments and drugs that are good for improving your gaba health. L theanine comes to mind.

My benzos are cloxazolam. Do you know them? There was a time when I took them every day

 

[indigomoon]

I would get off benzos if you can. I was taking Ativan and eventually built up a tolerance to the point that when I took it that it actually made my anxiety worse. I weaned off of them and feel much better in regards to the anxiety. You may want to try Buspar and see if it helps. I personally don't take it but have heard it being helpful in others.

 

[dihgdsoigd]

I would get off benzos if you can. I was taking Ativan and eventually built up a tolerance to the point that when I took it that it actually made my anxiety worse. I weaned off of them and feel much better in regards to the anxiety. You may want to try Buspar and see if it helps. I personally don't take it but have heard it being helpful in others.

I react very badly to Ativan. I will see what I can do. Thank you.