divinemistress36
Illuminated
- Jan 1, 2024
- 3,141
Right the how the hell are they able to cook, clean, exist like it's not big deal it all makes me have a breakdownfelt this one on a deep level
Same!Seriously, I can't interact with my peers because seeing them do anything successfully makes me, a worthless subhuman failure, feel unworthy of even looking them in the eye.
You'd hate me then...
You are one of those creatures that has energy and motivationYou'd hate me then...
I have zero motivation and well, strictly speaking, we all have energy except for those VSED-ing.You are one of those creatures that has energy and motivation
I can't believe how some are able to work either. I would literally crumble under all of that pressure. It's just too much to manageRight the how the hell are they able to cook, clean, exist like it's not big deal it all makes me have a breakdown
Right they work 50 hours a week then come home take of care of kids, cook, clean , and still have energy to go do activities on the weekend mind blowingI can't believe how some are able to work either. I would literally crumble under all of that pressure. It's just too much to manage
They must be superhuman. How do they have so much energy? It amazes meRight they work 50 hours a week then come home take of care of kids, cook, clean , and still have energy to go do activities on the weekend mind blowing
I hear you! I don't know how they do it but I know they are miserable none wants to be the social like robot some of them they go with the flow just to please their family or partner. Look at the news "murder suicide" everyday in the US it's because they are overwhelmed mentally and have a lot of obligations they can't meet at some pointI'm a weird one. Literally all my energy goes into work. I often feel like I'm drastically failing at that though logically I know the problems are down to having drastically subpar tools to do my job (yay uk public sector), still, I'm a rat in a cage. I somehow manage to tunnel vision / compartmentalise enough to do my job however crap I feel I am at it. Everything else? No. Housework - meltdown. Cooking - impossible. Social life? What's that? I have massive anxiety about everything. It's a good day if I manage to do the dishes. A massive gargantuan achievement if I change the bedsheets. Predominantly working from home it's also a good day if I manage basic self care like showering and getting dressed as opposed to rolling out of bed two minutes from shift start and stumbling to the laptop to work for in excess of 12 hours in my pjs. My home is a tip!
I hate going to the office as I have to expend so much energy to appear like a functional human being including looking professional, but at the same time it's about the only in person interaction I ever have.
And I only do it to barely keep a roof over my head, pay bills and feed / vet care for my furry minions. It's all pointless, I have almost zero expendable income (the little I have is often spent on gaming). The last week I took off work, my productivity amounted to spending the week building a zoo in a console game and trying to master all FF7 Rebirths million mini games but I did it from my bed. Pretty much slept and gamed and that's it. I need to do so many DIY projects and decorating but it's exhausting to even think of.
I think I just fail at life. All these people with full time jobs, multiple kids to look after and chauffeur about, who keep on top of having a nice home and home cooked meals every night and all the rest of it - they are like alien beings to me. How do they do it?! I patted myself on the back for managing a single round of laundry on Sunday
I think that eventually, something's gotta give. People snapā¦ yet there are many who don't. And how?! I think they must be NPC pre programmed simsI hear you! I don't know how they do it but I know they are miserable none wants to be the social like robot some of them they go with the flow just to please their family or partner. Look at the news "murder suicide" everyday in the US it's because they are overwhelmed mentally and have a lot of obligations they can't meet at some point
And we can't possibly know what's going-on in each person home but trust me none is happy totally everyone have some type of issue they vent about in random areas with random people like night clubs but lately after my son passed away watching the news is all what I do and it's there if you watch the news.I think that eventually, something's gotta give. People snapā¦ yet there are many who don't. And how?! I think they must be NPC pre programmed sims
I'm so sorry for your loss. Those words always sound trite but I really truly mean them, as one who knows grief: I'm sorry, grief is fucking horrible.And we can't possibly know what's going-on in each person home but trust me none is happy totally everyone have some type of issue they vent about in random areas with random people like night clubs but lately after my son passed away watching the news is all what I do and it's there if you watch the news.
Thank you so much and yes it's terrifying! The person I love the most is gone just gone in seconds out if the blue! I cry at work I cry in the bathroom I cry while I'm sleeping and I'm crying now. That's why I don't trust friends I learned a lesson the hard wayI'm so sorry for your loss. Those words always sound trite but I really truly mean them, as one who knows grief: I'm sorry, grief is fucking horrible.
Losing someone you love like that is so soul destroying, life changes in an instant andā¦ like the lack of understanding and empathy people have for those of us living with chronic or acute wish to ctb, people also often lack the ability to truly be there for people who are grieving. They don't want to know or see because it's raw and painful and they can't, or don't want to witness it because they don't know what to do or say. Some things can't be fixed but they may be marginally more bearable with someone who will genuinely just hold your hand through your pain and be there without judging. Sending you love. XThank you so much and yes it's terrifying! The person I love the most is gone just gone in seconds out if the blue! I cry at work I cry in the bathroom I cry while I'm sleeping and I'm crying now. That's why I don't trust friends I learned a lesson the hard way
Tragedy will eventually hit themliterally me seeing all my high school mates succeeding in life... i hate it here sm
I have friends and two brothers but they can't feel what I feel! They were hurt but they moved on it's not their son. None can understand the pain I live with every second like my heart literally hurts. It will impossible to continue with this pain. I told my boyfriend I needed space and since then I'm ignoring him I just want to be alone. Thank you so much for your support it's nice to have someone understanding what I'm going throughLosing someone you love like that is so soul destroying, life changes in an instant andā¦ like the lack of understanding and empathy people have for those of us living with chronic or acute wish to ctb, people also often lack the ability to truly be there for people who are grieving. They don't want to know or see because it's raw and painful and they can't, or don't want to witness it because they don't know what to do or say. Some things can't be fixed but they may be marginally more bearable with someone who will genuinely just hold your hand through your pain and be there without judging. Sending you love. X
The closer the bond/connection, the deeper the grief, and yes, most people it doesn't affect their day to day so they just don't feel it so acutely. For me especially early on the emotions were so intense it became physical and I did have the constant sensation of a fist around my heart that kept squeezing. Grief gives weird physical symptoms tooI have friends and two brothers but they can't feel what I feel! They were hurt but they moved on it's not their son. None can understand the pain I live with every second like my heart literally hurts. It will impossible to continue with this pain. I told my boyfriend I needed space and since then I'm ignoring him I just want to be alone. Thank you so much for your support it's nice to have someone understanding what I'm going through
Thank you so much and I'm sorry you have had experience with grieve. It's hard but I'm glad I'm going too so I'll get to rest. I'm here for you too if you ever need to talk.The closer the bond/connection, the deeper the grief, and yes, most people it doesn't affect their day to day so they just don't feel it so acutely. For me especially early on the emotions were so intense it became physical and I did have the constant sensation of a fist around my heart that kept squeezing. Grief gives weird physical symptoms too
Sending you lots of love. You're welcome, though I wish you weren't going through this. X
Me tooSeriously, I can't interact with my peers because seeing them do anything successfully makes me, a worthless subhuman failure, feel unworthy of even looking them in the eye.