Discussion Writing "The Note"

[Lordsudbury]

Writing "the note" now which is already at 37 pages with multiple chapters, philosophies, explanations and highlighted texts. Don't want to leave anything out or leave any stone unturned as to what happened to the mental health of an otherwise very successful and handsome young man.

As I write it I find it very cathartic as it lets me air my thoughts. It keeps me going another day even, although I know the sooner I finish, the sooner I grant myself agency to "pull the trigger".

Then I BRIEFLY saw a picture of "her" while scrolling for 5 seconds on FB and my mind exploded back to PTSD trauma mode and why I'm in this situation at all.

Anyone have any stories about your suicide note writing?

 

[WornOutLife]

It's always nice (and part of a good plan) to leave goodbye notes.
I even left a letter for my dog lol

 

[Emily_Numb]

I've never written a note and honestly, I probably won't either. The trouble is for those left behind, they will read into what you have written, analyse it, take it out of context. It's so open to misinterpretation. As someone who has had a family member take their own life and left notes for people, I can assure you that the notes were more painful than receiving nothing. Even though that wasn't his intention.

A 37 page letter is going to be incredibly painful to read for those left behind. But perhaps that's what you want? Whatever anyone writes, people left behind will always read into what is written and blame themselves. It's just how it is. I speak from experience.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I have written a LOT. I listed all the bad things, trauma, mental and physical issues. Pretty much why and who drove me to it. I detailed everything my ex did to me and I'm leaving screenshots of things he said like telling me to kill myself.

I wrote a letter to my state government why they played a part in killing me since I can't get ANY help without going in debt and I receive no disability or medicaid because the state is so backwards. I know it will fall in deaf ears but it needs to be said! Those policies and particular political views point is killing people!

I wrote a long manifesto on the inherent pointlessness of life. And my philosophies and ideas about life. Lots of cynical viewpoints. I have written lots of letters to those who did me wrong (my grade school where I was inappropriately touched by pastors)

I wrote a letter to my few friends and my nice ex. My family and my husband.

Most importantly to my mom. I love her so much. I wrote a note and will be making a video telling her she is the best and there was nothing more that could be done for me.

I hope my notes can possibly spark change or bring awareness to issues people face (I doubt it but hey I'll try). And I hope everyone I love can forgive me and be happy I'm no longer suffering.

 

[Rn110bg101]

I used to have 5 notes, 2 for specific people and 3 for social medias, all pretty long... then I realized I wasn't active on 2 socials, fell out of touch with one of these people and the other wouldn't care to read a full letter, so it was useless to write things so grand.

Now I only have a social media post and a short email (maybe three lines). I plan on writing a short note for my mother as well on the day I do it (no idea what to write yet).

 

[Lordsudbury]

I've never written a note and honestly, I probably won't either. The trouble is for those left behind, they will read into what you have written, analyse it, take it out of context. It's so open to misinterpretation. As someone who has had a family member take their own life and left notes for people, I can assure you that the notes were more painful than receiving nothing. Even though that wasn't his intention.

A 37 page letter is going to be incredibly painful to read for those left behind. But perhaps that's what you want? Whatever anyone writes, people left behind will always read into what is written and blame themselves. It's just how it is. I speak from experience.

That's true I never thought about it. Granted I am stranded in a foreign country with no one here right now so not sure if my essays will ever be seen by anyone, unless photocopied and mailed around.

My mom will surely blame herself she has always felt guilty like she was a shitty mother raising me even though shes great and we're best friends and it's all good. But if I go, she will def put it all on herself for not being there and not having a father and blah blah blah right.

Thanks for bringing up the other side of things, I'll still go through with it because my suicide note is more like a sociology essay than a sobbing good bye message

 

[willitpass]

i just leave a note to all of the important people in my life and one brief letter to whoever finds it. that's what i've done for every attempt. whether each person chooses to read it is up to them. i guess i'm not really writing it to give them closure as much as i am to give myself closure

 

[Mthom2]

I found that writing mine was very therapeutic. Just getting out all the built up pain helped me feel better. Personally, I feel like leaving behind some sort of reason ultimately helps loved ones that are left behind. Otherwise, they are often left without knowing. Which can be a lot worse than losing you in such a controversial way without explanation.

 

[Lupgevif]

I am trying to make my note as short and succinct as possible. I used to fantasize about writing a book length note full of philosophies, but I stopped bothering. First, I don't think I owe anyone any reason, second, those who I thought I owed reason to just misinterpreted or distorted what I said, so it's inevitable they will do the same with my note. I'll just write it to make sure nobody attributes it to the pandemic as to not further invalidate my years of suffering prior, give some generic apologies and thanks and one or two snarky comments about expectations and capitalism.