This is probably not exactly what you were asking for, but I had never cut before and wondered how difficult it would be. I cut mine yesterday. Not deep enough, but now I know how it feels.
that was gonna be my follow up question really, how painful is it to cut ur wrists ? how deep did u go
4 cuts across. First one slow, which sucked. The next three a bit harder. Enough to bleed good but not deep enough to cut any real blood vessels. I can see myself using this method to ctb.
Visperidia
Member
- Jul 30, 2020
- 16
I wouldn't recommend it. My father slit his wrists in the middle of the night. Lost 2 liters of blood. Docs say if I'd found him any later he would be dead. Didn't seem like a fun time to him.
he didnt lose consenciousness from the blood loss? did he scream etc?
im considering this aswell, just get some meds and cut em.
I wish I had some really strong painkillers like Perc or something. I hate pain. It's why I want to ctb. To get out of this pain
Visperidia
Member
- Jul 30, 2020
- 16
Nope, when I found him he was conscious and smoking a cigarette. He said he regretted it after he did it but he thought he was gunna die anyways so he figured he'd die doing something he reeeaalllly loves lol
He cut himself deep across both wrists but only slightly above where your hand meets your wrist. The scars will always be there.
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Isadeth
Visionary
- Jun 12, 2020
- 2,538
I used to cut, never really would have described it as pain. I don't cut anymore though, I haven't for 14 years. My father in law ctb though with slitting his wrist. One cut. 4in across 3mm deep left wrist. He bleed out fairly quickly. He had a band new 8inch cooking knife though with a built in sharpener.
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,238
curious as how you found him if i may ask, and what are his thoughts after, did he say anything about why he did it ?
Visperidia
Member
- Jul 30, 2020
- 16
Idk how I found him to be honest. It was the middle of the night and he was in the garage. I woke up and went downstairs and saw a trail of blood leading out the backdoor. I do wake up in the middle of the night 99% of the time though.
Gets kinda weird about what he said about why. Some backstory my dad has PTSD from being a soldier and was totally fine up until literally (and I mean literally) one day, he woke up and couldn't drive, couldn't work, shook uncontrollably, couldn't sleep at night. Someone had to be with him 24/7 because he was scared. My dad is like 6'3 250lbs so it was weird seeing him so scared. He kept repeating that he "didn't have any power" in his hands.
The psychiatrist said this happens when someone goes into survival mode after a traumatic experience and then their brain decides they're finally in a safe place to express and deal with the trauma. For my dad that was almost 20 years AFTER the war.
They prescribed him ativan for it. One night my mother was supposed to stay up with him until he fell asleep a bit. She was really tired and had to work early the next morning. I remember her being mad and exasperated with him, but my parents have a shit marriage. I guess at some point she left to sleep while he was still awake and said "if you feel bad just take an ativan." So he took like 8 and then felt fucked up and said he slit his wrists to "get the medication out" and not because he actually wanted to do it. Then again while he was in the hospital and drugged up he told me he'd wished he'd done it in the woods so no one found him.
Now it is about 10 years later. My father doesn't take any medication and seems perfectly fine to me to be honest. In fact he's a lot calmer and more relaxed than he was before it. But my mom did divorce him and he remarried.
:)
That is a incredible story to read, im happy that your dad got better. Can i ask what u felt in the moments when u found him and how u felt ? let me know if i m asking too much.
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