Wormfood
I like people... I said it
- May 23, 2022
- 131
I feel like I'm the only person who can't get his life together.
I can't seem to hold down a steady job. If I highlight how toxic, unprofessional and unproductive these workplaces are you'd think I'm trying to evade responsibility (spontaneous trait transference ).
I don't feel valued at work. I am just another cog in the system. It's been 3 days since I've called in sick. Going back to work feels like dipping my hand in a jar of mucus.
My family don't get it. I'm terrible at my job. It's only a matter of time before I'm fired in a very public and awful fashion. The company puts profit over people and I just can't deal with that. I'm told that I shouldn't care once I'm being paid but money has never motivated me and I care about people. I feel like if I walk away from this job my family will abandon me.
I feel worthless.
I've been thinking about ctb recently. I'm too overwhelmed to be effective any method. I would seriously end up damaging myself.
A close friend of mine thinks I'm not serious about catching the bus. She thinks I have infinite self control. She expects me to be chirpy. It's kinda hard when you have not showered in 2 days. She thinks I should see a shrink. Last shrink tried to seduce me ( yes, it was a dude). Hard pass on that.
My life isn't harder than anyone else's. I'm responsible for my life. I don't need anyone to save me or feel sorry for me. The problem is I feel a wrecking ball rage at work when they want me to make blood out of stone then shame me in front of others for not pulling it off. I want to pull my pin and explode ( amygdala hijack). I fear my rage. They see me as such a reserved guy but a monster dwells within (thinking of animal I've become by Three Days Grace).
I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know why I'm posting this. what are your thoughts?
I can't seem to hold down a steady job. If I highlight how toxic, unprofessional and unproductive these workplaces are you'd think I'm trying to evade responsibility (spontaneous trait transference ).
I don't feel valued at work. I am just another cog in the system. It's been 3 days since I've called in sick. Going back to work feels like dipping my hand in a jar of mucus.
My family don't get it. I'm terrible at my job. It's only a matter of time before I'm fired in a very public and awful fashion. The company puts profit over people and I just can't deal with that. I'm told that I shouldn't care once I'm being paid but money has never motivated me and I care about people. I feel like if I walk away from this job my family will abandon me.
I feel worthless.
I've been thinking about ctb recently. I'm too overwhelmed to be effective any method. I would seriously end up damaging myself.
A close friend of mine thinks I'm not serious about catching the bus. She thinks I have infinite self control. She expects me to be chirpy. It's kinda hard when you have not showered in 2 days. She thinks I should see a shrink. Last shrink tried to seduce me ( yes, it was a dude). Hard pass on that.
My life isn't harder than anyone else's. I'm responsible for my life. I don't need anyone to save me or feel sorry for me. The problem is I feel a wrecking ball rage at work when they want me to make blood out of stone then shame me in front of others for not pulling it off. I want to pull my pin and explode ( amygdala hijack). I fear my rage. They see me as such a reserved guy but a monster dwells within (thinking of animal I've become by Three Days Grace).
I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know why I'm posting this. what are your thoughts?