Would you want to live if you had this?

[End_Game]

I've told people in the past that I'm suicidal. Friends tell me that I should do it, and thatI have no friends. My mom said that she would kill herself too she was me, when she gets mad at me she used to say "I'd kill myself to if I was you."

With that being said, do you wish that you can tell someone you're suicidal and not have the fear of them throwing it back in your face or being a burden to them. I mean after all, you don't want to push whoever you have left away, right? So do you just wish you had someone you can just open up to about every single thought that you've ever had, including this, and just not push them away? In fact, they would love you even more for opening up to them and trusting them on that level and be there with you forever. The wish would be for them not to think of you as a burden and not look down on you some type of way. The wish would be for them not to think of you as a burden, they wouldn't look down on you. They would be affectionate, not leave your side, and be the person that makes life worth living.

Do you want this? If you had this, would you want to stay alive? Do you feel like this is the answer to your problems?

 

[R_N]

How would that help my physical illness? That wouldn't give me any reason to live and I already have few people like that.

 

[Time]

Absolutely. I think that it would be comforting & make me more accepting of my decision. (Because that wouldn't be enough to keep me from wanting to ctb.)

 

[Blue Moon]

How would that help my physical illness? That wouldn't give me any reason to live and I already have few people like that.

Everyone here has a different story.

 

[Azzy69]

Man this brings me back to my old high school days. I was new to the whole concept of mental health, and I had no clue that I was even experiencing depression - until I looked up my symptoms of course (c'mon who doesn't)...... anyway what I am trying to say is I told one of my 'friends' that I had suicidal thoughts, and she went and told her group of friends and I got reported. I haven't told anyone since. So to answer your main question, definitely. It would be a huge help.

 

[R_N]

Everyone here has a different story.

I know I am just saying that it doesn't give me a reason to live.

 

[Blue Moon]

Man this brings me back to my old high school days. I was new to the whole concept of mental health, and I had no clue that I was even experiencing depression - until I looked up my symptoms of course (c'mon who doesn't)......

I was in denial about being depressed for a long time. I felt ashamed.

anyway what I am trying to say is I told one of my 'friends' that I had suicidal thoughts, and she went and told her group of friends and I got reported. I haven't told anyone since. So to answer your main question, definitely. It would be a huge help.

In 10th grade we had some kind of class taught by one of the guidance councilors and it involved group discussions. We were asked what we would do if one of our friends told us they had suicidal thoughts. I had a back and forth with the guidence councilor where she told me that I was supposed to tell an adult what my friend told me. I said that I wouldn't run straight to an adult because it would be a breach of my friend's trust and could make them feel even worse. She said in front of the whole class almost verbatim, "I guess you don't care if your friends kill themselves."
I wish I stood up to her.

 

[Azzy69]

I was in denial about being depressed for a long time. I felt ashamed.

In 10th grade we had some kind of class taught by one of the guidance councilors and it involved group discussions. We were asked what we would do if one of our friends told us we had suicidal thoughts. I had a back and forth with the guidence councilor where she told me that I was supposed to tell an adult what my friend told me. I said that I wouldn't run straight to an adult because it would be a breach of my friend's trust and could make them feel even worse. She said in front of the whole class almost verbatim, "I guess you don't care if your friends kill themselves."
I wish I stood up to her.

So sorry about your experience, Blue Moon (hugs)
I very much agree with your point of view on that one.

 

[tuto170]

I've told people in the past that I'm suicidal. Friends tell me that I should do it, and thatI have no friends. My mom said that she would kill herself too she was me, when she gets mad at me she used to say "I'd kill myself to if I was you."

With that being said, do you wish that you can tell someone you're suicidal and not have the fear of them throwing it back in your face or being a burden to them. I mean after all, you don't want to push whoever you have left away, right? So do you just wish you had someone you can just open up to about every single thought that you've ever had, including this, and just not push them away? In fact, they would love you even more for opening up to them and trusting them on that level and be there with you forever. The wish would be for them not to think of you as a burden and not look down on you some type of way. The wish would be for them not to think of you as a burden, they wouldn't look down on you. They would be affectionate, not leave your side, and be the person that makes life worth living.

Do you want this? If you had this, would you want to stay alive? Do you feel like this is the answer to your problems?

When i told my mother I wanted to kill myself i was put into mental hospital by her. When i try to open up to my old friends about my situation they are like "just think positive and you will be cured" and I am like wtf, is thinking positive gonna cure my schizophrenia? I would rather have no one and live alone. I have learnt that people drag you down to the bottom instead help you.

 

[zherhk]

When i told my mother I wanted to kill myself i was put into mental hospital by her. When i try to open up to my old friends about my situation they are like "just think positive and you will be cured" and I am like wtf, is thinking positive gonna cure my schizophrenia? I would rather have no one and live alone. I have learnt that people drag you down to the bottom instead help you.

People speaks just unconsciously. They just vomit their thoughts at someone who is in pain without even thinking that they could hurt more.
Just grotesque.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I would want to live if I were healthy. The other things don't matter for me.

 

[OneBigBlur]

If I had someone like that I wouldn't be killing myself. This is why I find therapy to be so heartbreaking, it's the illusion of someone caring and it reminds me that no one does in real life.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

I've told people in the past that I'm suicidal. Friends tell me that I should do it, and thatI have no friends. My mom said that she would kill herself too she was me, when she gets mad at me she used to say "I'd kill myself to if I was you."

With that being said, do you wish that you can tell someone you're suicidal and not have the fear of them throwing it back in your face or being a burden to them. I mean after all, you don't want to push whoever you have left away, right? So do you just wish you had someone you can just open up to about every single thought that you've ever had, including this, and just not push them away? In fact, they would love you even more for opening up to them and trusting them on that level and be there with you forever. The wish would be for them not to think of you as a burden and not look down on you some type of way. The wish would be for them not to think of you as a burden, they wouldn't look down on you. They would be affectionate, not leave your side, and be the person that makes life worth living.

Do you want this? If you had this, would you want to stay alive? Do you feel like this is the answer to your problems?

That desire to have someone to talk to without fear is why I'm so grateful for SS.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I already have that with my mother but the person I needed it from was my ex. So yes if he was with me and had actually loved me and listened to me when I talked about my suicidal feelings instead of just shutting me down, threatening to call cops and recently leaving me I would not ctb. (Not going to ctb over breakup it was straw that broke camel's back, I have many reasons, but he made my life tolerable enough to live)

 

[End_Game]

If I had someone like that I wouldn't be killing myself. This is why I find therapy to be so heartbreaking, it's the illusion of someone caring and it reminds me that no one does in real life.

Exactly! For this reason, therapy is a waste of time for loneliness. It only works if you give into the illusion without knowing it's an illusion. If you know, if you can see past the smoke and mirrors it's just not gonna work. How and why would it..

That desire to have someone to talk to without fear is why I'm so grateful for SS.

What is SS mean?

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

What is SS mean?

It's a shorthand for the name of this site. As for your original post, I agree. As fucked up as it is, this site is the only place where I've mentioned my feelings, that people have accepted or understood it. If only society and our families could do the same. Hell, if they even cared in the first place, most of us wouldn't be here, most likely.

 

[Malletboy]

I've been dying (no pun intended) to open up about my suicidal tendencies to someone irl. I have tons of loving family and friends but I know mentioning ctb would raise a red flag and put my family and friends on high alert. I already have tons of privacy and I know no one will intervene when the time comes but if my people are on high alert then I'll be watched much more closely then I need them to.

I honestly dont even open up about my depression too much- only one really close friend knows I'm suffering but he doesn't really even know the extent.

I'm so worried about people worrying about me. The last thing I want is for someone to be constantly in fear that I'll do something harmful to myself or always checking up on me. I'd feel so burdensome.

having someone wouldn't want to make me live, but it'd make these last few days (weeks?) on this earth so much more easy to bear.