Discussion Would you want someone to be with you as you leave?

[wordsonscreen]

This is a variation of this thread
I'd like some perspective on this as I think through what I want.

What medium would you choose?

What would you want from them?

What would support you?

What would be big no-nos during that time?

If you wish to be alone, why? or why not?

 

[booray]

If I were to die a natural death, then for sure I would want family and close friends by my side as I leave this mortal coil. Since it looks more likely that I will ctb, I think I would prefer to be alone. It's going to be difficult enough to overcome SI as it is.

 

[loopylou]

Think the suicide line or 999 will have to do for me can't find a partner my age

 

[Gonjoolie]

I have already asked my friends to be with me if I ever do decide to ctb (I have, I just haven't told them because my ctb date is like a year way). We're prob gonna do it over voice chat while playing a game like MInecraft or something.

 

[MrBigSad]

I'd like to be alone. I've always enjoyed being alone. Maybe, if someone made that desperate attempt to do the whole dramatic 'nooooo' and weep over me, I'd appreciate it.

But death is a very private thing. After all no one cared when you were alive.

 

[Ame]

Ideally, I would have liked to be euthanized in the comfort of my home with my cat and family. My family would never approve of it however, so my only recourse is to die by my own hand all alone. I fear that my method of choice could potentially harm my cat, so sadly, I don't think that I could have her with me for comfort. Someone once asked me why I had signed up to the forum. I told him that while I was lurking, I had seen some misinformation and wanted to sign up so that I could correct it and provide some evidence backed answers to certain queries. This was only part of the reason. I had been afraid of dying alone, and had hoped that by live-posting about my attempt here, that I could somehow feel connected in my final moments. I'm afraid that I am not all that altruistic.

My stance has since changed. I think that there is too much at risk to be posting here and I fear that it may be difficult for others to read. I am very much against suicide pacts, because I feel that there is so much that could go wrong. Perhaps someone gets cold feet at the very end and cannot follow through, so they are left with someone dying on them. Or worse, they may feel compelled to attempt when they are not truly ready because of some pressure to finish what they had started.

When I had learned about my late boyfriend's suicide, I had wished that he had told me of his plans directly so that I could die with him. The idea of him being in so much pain and dying alone haunts me so much. If this was something that he absolutely had to do, then I would have liked to have been able to hold him and die together. This may just be my own grief speaking and I doubt very much that he would ever agree to such a thing but it doesn't stop me from wishing.

 

[MrBigSad]

Ideally, I would have liked to be euthanized in the comfort of my home with my cat and family. My family would never approve of it however, so my only recourse is to die by my own hand all alone. I fear that my method of choice could potentially harm my cat, so sadly, I don't think that I could have her with me for comfort. Someone once asked me why I had signed up to the forum. I told him that while I was lurking, I had seen some misinformation and wanted to sign up so that I could correct it and provide some evidence backed answers to certain queries. This was only part of the reason. I had been afraid of dying alone, and had hoped that by live-posting about my attempt here, that I could somehow feel connected in my final moments. I'm afraid that I am not all that altruistic.

My stance has since changed. I think that there is too much at risk to be posting here and I fear that it may be difficult for others to read. I am very much against suicide pacts, because I feel that there is so much that could go wrong. Perhaps someone gets cold feet at the very end and cannot follow through, so they are left with someone dying on them. Or worse, they may feel compelled to attempt when they are not truly ready because of some pressure to finish what they had started.

When I had learned about my late boyfriend's suicide, I had wished that he had told me of his plans directly so that I could die with him. The idea of him being in so much pain and dying alone haunts me so much. If this was something that he absolutely had to do, then I would have liked to have been able to hold him and die together. This may just be my own grief speaking and I doubt very much that he would ever agree to such a thing but it doesn't stop me from wishing.

Recently shook hands on a suicide pack with a friend of mine. We don't have a date or method planned. But the sentiment is if I go he goes to and vice versa. It'd not nice to be alone in that hour of need but I consider it as such.

You've done everything else by yourself and ending it isn't a far stretch. I will not join you if you go before me as I feel obligated to wait until my parents go. But I am not long to follow. Perhaps you may find some of the beauty I've seen. If it is dark where you are now. Go and look upon the sky and I will gaze with you

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I think it would be nice to be chatting with people in my final moments but I wouldn't want to get any of them in trouble for not stopping me because nothing they can do would probably do that anyway...

Otherwise I'd rather just be alone.

 

[loopylou]

I'm a girl. I just want another girl to hold my hand. Understand it's too much for most tho :(

 

[MrBigSad]

Why is alone such a bad thing?

 

[ashedout]

I would want to be alone. If I had a person there, I think I would feel the need to maybe meet whatever expectations they have or would feel like a character in a play putting on a show. I'm not sure why but I wouldn't be able to go peacefully knowing someone is there having thoughts about me if that makes any sense. I am generally like that in all situations though!

 

[LakatosDiogenesz]

I'd prefer to be alone but it would be nice if someone made sure that I wasn't revived.

 

[loopylou]

I live next to a grave my back garden leads into it. Anyway anyone wanna meet me there

I'd like to be alone. I've always enjoyed being alone. Maybe, if someone made that desperate attempt to do the whole dramatic 'nooooo' and weep over me, I'd appreciate it.

But death is a very private thing. After all no one cared when you were alive.

Yea. They pretend to care with me but in reality I'm just a burden

 

[wordsonscreen]

If I were to die a natural death, then for sure I would want family and close friends by my side as I leave this mortal coil. Since it looks more likely that I will ctb, I think I would prefer to be alone. It's going to be difficult enough to overcome SI as it is.

This is understandable <3

~

Ideally, I would have liked to be euthanized in the comfort of my home with my cat and family. My family would never approve of it however, so my only recourse is to die by my own hand all alone. I fear that my method of choice could potentially harm my cat, so sadly, I don't think that I could have her with me for comfort. Someone once asked me why I had signed up to the forum. I told him that while I was lurking, I had seen some misinformation and wanted to sign up so that I could correct it and provide some evidence backed answers to certain queries. This was only part of the reason. I had been afraid of dying alone, and had hoped that by live-posting about my attempt here, that I could somehow feel connected in my final moments. I'm afraid that I am not all that altruistic.

Ame <3 you are such a soft soul. It is natural and okay to want connection. Being human is never perfect altruism. We can be altruistic AND want things :)

My stance has since changed. I think that there is too much at risk to be posting here and I fear that it may be difficult for others to read. I am very much against suicide pacts, because I feel that there is so much that could go wrong. Perhaps someone gets cold feet at the very end and cannot follow through, so they are left with someone dying on them. Or worse, they may feel compelled to attempt when they are not truly ready because of some pressure to finish what they had started.

This is very true also! There are several risks to exiting with people, some of which you outline.

When I had learned about my late boyfriend's suicide, I had wished that he had told me of his plans directly so that I could die with him. The idea of him being in so much pain and dying alone haunts me so much. If this was something that he absolutely had to do, then I would have liked to have been able to hold him and die together. This may just be my own grief speaking and I doubt very much that he would ever agree to such a thing but it doesn't stop me from wishing.

<3 :( I feel you. When we are hurting, we naturally want to protect ones closest to us from pain. Grieve however you need to. All expression is okay. Once again, I am so sorry. I cant imagine your pain right now. But know that you are loved and cared for. I care about you!

~

If it is dark where you are now. Go and look upon the sky and I will gaze with you

This warms my heart

~

I'm a girl. I just want another girl to hold my hand. Understand it's too much for most tho :(

I actually do get this. What we want often is not what is real but it is still okay to wish for it in our minds at least. I'll hold your hand in spirit :)

~

Why is alone such a bad thing?

No one said its a bad thing. People are allowed to want what they want. No shaming please. Everyone has a preference - all are okay.

~

I would want to be alone. If I had a person there, I think I would feel the need to maybe meet whatever expectations they have or would feel like a character in a play putting on a show. I'm not sure why but I wouldn't be able to go peacefully knowing someone is there having thoughts about me if that makes any sense. I am generally like that in all situations though!

I feel the character thing. I'm not really myself with most people- I dont even realize it until I'm already deep into playing a role. I understand <3 This actually really resonates. Knowing someone is thinking of me can make me feel.. stuck maybe? I'm hyperaware of others- almost more than my awareness of my own body. But I think I could go together with the right person in the right situation.

 

[Marktheghost]

I'd like someone to be there with me when I die.

 

[Callie Arcale]

I would not like anyone to be with me as I die. I am a very private person. I also feel worthless and don't want to impose myself on others who I feel are generally better off without me. I won't be needing any compassion or affection during the last moments. Just a quick and painless exit.

 

[Trisolaris]

I would want to be alone. No one should see my last moments.

 

[tormennted]

If I were to die in my home than I wouldnt need anyone, Id already be really relaxed. But if I go somewhere else to jump, hang or whatever method it will be, then I would definitely want to be with someone. It would be soooo lonely travelling somewhere to ctb while all the people around you are happy and living their normal lives :(

 

[nolongerhuman]

If it were up to me I would have people I care about with me. They want me alive so that can't happen. A goodbye thread on here or something similar maybe I can have. I want the last conversation I have to be incredibly mundane. What the other person did today, what they plan to do this weekend, what they think the weather is going to be like, stuff like that. No point in dwelling on the end when it's already been decided and in progress. I just don't want to die alone.

 

[Georgiana Darcy]

I have already asked my friends to be with me if I ever do decide to ctb (I have, I just haven't told them because my ctb date is like a year way). We're prob gonna do it over voice chat while playing a game like MInecraft or something.

That sounds so good. I wish you peace.
I would love for someone to be present, but do not want to put that person through this ordeal and very possibly cause him massive legal issues.