Discussion Would you still self-destruct if someone truly and genuinely starts loving you?

[Deleted-User-0]

I was asking myself today how would (if at all ) my attitude toward self-destruction and life change if I meet someone today who genuinely starts loving and caring about me regardless of my issues.

 

[omsoc]

Deep down I'd like to say yes but, I feel like external love can only distract me so much from internal pain, so me personally, unfortunately no.

 

[Cherrypea]

I have a partner and 2 children who love me. It makes no difference. You are still who you are inside x

 

[thereandgone]

Yes (though it wouldn't happen anyway); it's way too late for me to come back.

 

[falloutcarter13]

I imagine the answer to this is different for everybody. I see love as a resource necessary to life, just like oxygen or water. We all have access to those two, yet so many of us are at the point of no return...I imagine love is much the same. I am loved, I know that beyond doubt, and just like @omsoc said (very well), the internal pain is too much for that love to override. Love really is blind, it blinds the people closest to me of how much pain I'm in. If they could see it, they'd happily let me go and would probably even help me. So yeah...when love is missing, its probably fatal. But if a person has it, its still debatable whether or not it would be enough to make a person want to stay here. Totally depends on the person in question.

 

[redbutterfly]

i believe you cant really be loved if you dont even love yourself. so no

 

[lostangel]

It depends on what you mean by loving. If it's that tough ''love'' bs where people treat you like trash and put you down and then say ''you'll understand one day''.

But if it's the kind of love that makes you smile and be happy around them then I believe I would be kinder to myself.

 

[superkai64]

Yes , absolutely yes

 

[SNOB]

i used to think love changes all but it doesn't not anymore

 

[InevitablePattern91]

Yes.

I have a girlfriend who loves me unconditionally. She spends most of her time trying to make me feel better.

Anyway I still want to ctb as soon as possible. Sure I will hurt her :(

i believe you cant really be loved if you dont even love yourself. so no

You can be loved even not loving yourself.

But you won't feel loved the same way as you would if you also loved yourself.

That's how I feel.

I have people who loves me, but I don't feel loved because I hate myself.

 

[omsoc]

"But you won't feel loved the same way as you would if you also loved yourself."


Man, that is by far the realest thing I've ever read. This is so true. I can say this from experience, because there was a point when I was younger where I did practice self love and, when I fell in love with someone, I really felt it. It was like a stream of bliss flowing through my body, and now, that word holds very little value to me because it has been so easily thrown around.

 

[Werewolf]

Being loved and being in love really are to different things. The love that other people can provide, romantic or otherwise, will only get you so far and is dependent on you actually being able to accept it, if it makes a difference well that's up to each and everyone to decide.
But to think "If I just get a partner everything will be ok" no, that's not how it works.

 

[BRAINWORMS]

I have people who sincerely love me, and I adore them. I wouldn't have lasted this long without them. Still doesn't change the fact that I have a suicide kit ready to go at a moment's notice, unfortunately.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Yes. I have that love. I went downhill during Lockdown because I was away from them (and I hate Zoom!). Their love hasn't changed but I have

 

[pdyduc]

I think that the idea of love is beautiful and pure. i dont feel like it heals all. my partner is very kind and good, but im the problem here, and he cant help even if he understood what it meant.

 

[bigdog]

Yes

 

[muffin222]

Yes. I have serious emotional pain and mental health concerns that are largely unaffected by outside forces, positively or negatively

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Yes. This is what happen to me and unfortunately I still do it.
Feeling very sorry, because I feel like I'm doomed and only ruin lives of everybody who cares about me.
Wish I still would've been alone and maybe did ctb already without hurting anyone

 

[TAW122]

The simple answer for me is no. This is because I have many issues with life itself and I never truly enjoyed life enough to want to live and thrive. Just enough to not want to CTB or think about dying all day long. I also have philosophical reasons as to why life is meaningless and mostly full of suffering as well as why the minute amounts of pleasure is not sufficient to outweigh the general mundaneness of existence.

 

[Help_Me]

I have some serious concern about my current relationships and i question myself often am i really loved or not. I think havin such person may surely do something to make me feel better. The only problem is ... how can i forget my previous love ? No seriously... how am i supposed to do that ? Imagine being loved and not able to forget your ex at the same time. This will just tear me apart.. So in general this might help a bit, but in my case i am doomed anyway. The only possible solution (except ctb) for me could be complete memory loss, but i don't know how to trigger that...

 

[catsarecool]

While it would make me stick around for longer and help me see more positive things in life, I think at the end I would still believe that that person would be better without me. Love can't fix everything.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

While it would make me stick around for longer and help me see more positive things in life, I think at the end I would still believe that that person would be better without me. Love can't fix everything.

So true. If you are still feeling bad when somebody tries to help you so much it feels eternally bad. Instead of just ruining your own life you also make somebody feel really bad for you and keep trying things that don't work. Nothing feels as bad as realizing that your death will harm somebody who loves you and cares about you so much. And you just wish this person never met you.

 

[Thinking]

I'm blessed to have a close friend and some family who live me, but it's also a curse because it doesn't make life easier. Rather, it makes ctb waayyy harder. I'm basically alive out of obligation. If it wasn't for them I'd be long gone

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I am genuinely and truly loved by a member on this site. I plan for a future with them.

Honestly, as long as they are around, I will be. I have many other reasons for ctb, so their death wouldn't be the only one, however.. I think it's a perfectly okay reason to ctb.

If they go, I go. That's my rule. I've never loved someone this much before. They're incredibly special and important to me and losing them would be losing everything.

Hugs x

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

I have a partner and 2 children who love me. It makes no difference. You are still who you are inside x

Same situation here. I can totally relate.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I would like to say yes but that person would be making a big mistake by being in love with me. I dont want to hurt another person when I ctb.

 

[death137]

I'm truly loved by my family but I still self destruct. Like some ppl said here it depend on the person. If you are already loved and your problem isn't related to love then things change little to nothing

 

[7Tetelestai7]

I imagine the answer to this is different for everybody. I see love as a resource necessary to life, just like oxygen or water. We all have access to those two, yet so many of us are at the point of no return...I imagine love is much the same. I am loved, I know that beyond doubt, and just like @omsoc said (very well), the internal pain is too much for that love to override. Love really is blind, it blinds the people closest to me of how much pain I'm in. If they could see it, they'd happily let me go and would probably even help me. So yeah...when love is missing, its probably fatal. But if a person has it, its still debatable whether or not it would be enough to make a person want to stay here. Totally depends on the person in question.

I was asking myself today how would (if at all ) my attitude toward self-destruction and life change if I meet someone today who genuinely starts loving and caring about me regardless of my issues.

If someone loved me, life would be worth living. For me at least. As you said, it is fatal to not be loved. Dead inside, yet living. Love is conditional as friendships are conditional. Searching for a discreet and effective exit strategy. Please help me.

 

[134340]

I am truly loved and I still want to self destruct. It's different for everyone, of course. I often feel silly and selfish for still wanting to ctb when there are people who have to live without love while I seemingly have it all, but my problems didn't go away when I fell in love. My problems didn't go away when my family and friends expressed (and continue to express) their love and support for me. It helps, for sure, but I still have to live inside this brain at the end of the day, no matter who loves me or how much.

 

[Nymph]

I think my family does truly love me (including my bunny) that's why I'm waiting till my bunny passes away because I got him and it's my responsibility to take good care of him. On the other hand my parents made me for their own selfish reasons even though I didn't want to be born, so I can end it when I want to. It's very hard-that's why I don't have a set date but that's just how I feel about it. I was forced to be alive, I never wanted this