Would you share with me any ideas what to do in my last hours?

[Tnatalie]

i. e. listen my favorite songs from all my life, reminisce most important moments?

Delete everything from my computer?
One thing I'll definietly do is set the delayed medale to my mother, to just understand me. Most likely she'll find me first.

 

[hurb]

maybe take a late look at ur childhood pictures , think bout the way ur ancestors led to this moment. text someone u had a crush on or someone u wish u texted before life made u guys stop talking. idk stuff that make u have some sort of closure

 

[kufajoy]

I will take my favorite candy after drinking sn

 

[BullsDon'tFly]

text someone u had a crush on or someone u wish u texted before life made u guys stop talking. idk stuff that make u have some sort of closure

I would suggest not to. Having contact with someone in the previous hours could make them feel guilty if they found out about the suicide and realized they were talking to the person right before it happened. A note is better I think.

My suggestion is to do whatever you cared most in your life. Have a walk, watch some photos, listen to your favorite songs, draw some birds on a paper...

 

[fadedghost]

i would reconsider ending things tonight and either not ctb or choose a place where i wouldn't found found by a family member

 

[chloeburbank]

i would make a playlist of my favorite songs (possibly a final thing to be remembered by if made public?) and go for a walk.

 

[musingsofaghost]

I'll be trying my best to hide any evidence that I was on SaSu. The people around me can get really… Vigilante. I don't want them to cause a ruckus on this website - all of us are already hurting. I've found that everyone here is kind and beyond understanding, this safe space being ruined is the last thing I want.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

I will take my favorite candy after drinking sn

What kind?

 

[hotelandrea]

for me, i'm hoping the sky will be clear enough to see the stars and moon one last time before i go

 

[doomedbynarrative]

Maybe make a playlist of your favorite songs or songs that represent you to leave behind?

 

[jazzcat621]

I'd be listening to music, cuddling up with my partner, talking with her about memories and stuff

 

[Blackthorne]

Whatever you think might give you comfort. Only you can decide what that is. If you like reading do that. If not music, a film, episodes of a TV series or simply reliving old memories.

I'm not there yet as I still need to acquire the means so I'm not at that stage of planning yet but I think that I will be listening to my favourite music and read Plato's dialogue Phaedo (in it Socrates argues that death is better than life) but that's just me. I'll probably also be thinking about the misery I will not have to go through because I chose wisely. I think/hope it will give me at least some grim satisfaction to know I cheated fate/nature out of rendering me completely miserable.

In between I'll meditate for increasing periods of time. I want to go to my death ready and detached from all worldly defilements. In Buddhism it is said that we are kept in an endless loop of life and death (samsara) due to what are called 'the three poisons of the mind' delusion, greed and aversion which bind us to existence. I don't know whether this is actually the case but I do believe purification of the mind will make the process of dying easier. That is worth striving for. If at all possible I would like to die in a happy state of mind and meditation has been proven scientifically to increase happiness. It has for me but now I'm confronted with an illness no training of the mind can fix. I still have a hard time dealing with that.

Completely up to you of course but you could try meditation and test whether it's helpful to you. There are plenty of instruction videos on YT and elsewhere. In that case I would start before your final hours though. Like everything else it takes some time to get used to.

I wish you and everyone on this site peace and liberation from suffering.

 

[Torzin]

I would very likely put up some music on my Spotify list and put my earphones on. I am greatly fond of music scores across many franchises and genres (hell, half of them were composed by John Williams). If not that, I'd read some of the sci-fi novels from my ebook reader until I passed out. Like Blackthorne, I am still a bit further away from planning and implementation, but I am using my meditation time to further cultivate my (last) desire/craving to end my life.

No one betrayed me, no one violated me (at least not physically), but... since I graduated from university, my existence feels like I have been living someone else's dreams (perhaps those of my parents, but I can't quite point blame-finger on them either). I've lost values, friendships, career...I comforted myself that I may be at least useful/helpful to other people, but even that proved false.

In any case, choose those activities that bring you passivity, calmness of mind, relaxation.