would you say yes to this clown?

[Insomniac]

A few months ago, I made multiple posts venting about a guy who was messing with my feelings since we were teens. I'm 25 now.

He got married earlier this year. Unfortunately this was my main reason for being suicidal at the moment.

Now this clown sent me a link towards an article that talks about the benefits of polygamy for women, implying that he'd like me to consider becoming his second wife (I live in a Muslim country).

I can't even

 

[outatime_85]

I might be off the mark here, so correct me if I am wrong.

While Islam allows for multiple companions, if I understand correctly, there are now rules that have been put in place in certain countries that are supposed to govern that aspect of Islam.

Also, some countries seem to have restricted the practice.

The real question you need to ask yourself is whether you want to be second fiddle in a marriage or in an everyday relationship.

 

[wait.what]

You're only supposed to take more than one wife if you can treat them exactly the same, so I doubt the second fiddle thing is an issue. Unless I'm misunderstanding, it's more that this particular man is awful.

 

[Insomniac]

I might be off the mark here, so correct me if I am wrong.

While Islam allows for multiple companions, if I understand correctly, there are now rules that have been put in place in certain countries that are supposed to govern that aspect of Islam.

Also, some countries seem to have restricted the practice.

The real question you need to ask yourself is whether you want to be second fiddle in a marriage or in an everyday relationship.

This guy is in love With me but couldn't propose to me because I'm not an appropriate Muslim (I don't pray and don't dress "appropriately") I also am a hysterical woman since I have anxiety and depression. I also don't have a job. So he went for someone more appropriate who has a job and also a little prettier than me with higher education level.

However, these two (him and his wife) have been trying to stay in touch with me and frequently message me for some reason. The other day, when I stabbed my leg, it got to the ear of his wife and she stopped by to force me to go to the hospital (I don't even know how she knew, maybe my sister told her).

Idk I thought it was weird that she is so concerned with me knowing how her husband feel towards me. But some Muslim women's are weird man. She is probably the type of Muslim woman to actively try to find a second wife for her husband.

They probably expect me to be his emotional support and confident since he feels closer to me, while she'd be the one to take care of the children etc. Something like that. Basically she'd be Lady Diana and I'd be Camilla Spencer.

Polygamy is amazing. Truly.

I just can't get over the fact that they thought I'd play into this bulshit.

You're only supposed to take more than one wife if you can treat them exactly the same, so I doubt the second fiddle thing is an issue. Unless I'm misunderstanding, it's more that this particular man is awful.

It's the fact that he knows me and still had the audacity to ask me that.

I'm 100% against polygamy. It's nit because I'm brainwashed by western philosophy, I don't care about western philosophy. But being from a Muslim country, I know the reality of polygamy.

This guy is tripping bad.

Also, the arrogance to think that I'd like to share him with another when he knows that other men are orbiting me anyway. Who does he think he is.

 

[thereisthemist]

contact 90 day fiance and earn sn money now

 

[Grav]

Is there any way to block/keep him and her from contacting you?

 

[Pluto]

This situation is an insult to clowns everywhere.

 

[lofticries]

He just wants you as a side piece. It's really creepy and sad how his wife is in on it too. Avoid both of them if you can.

 

[MindFrog]

Oh wow, the gall on the guy. He sound like a f*cking skeeve.

I wonder what he'll say if you suggest a poly relationship but the other way around?

 

[Symbiote]

Let him know that you say yes only if you wear the dong in the house and that you and his new wife can take turns reaming him daily. Role reversal!

 

[Insomniac]

He just wants you as a side piece

exactly. I have a feeling he wouldn't even treat us equally. Since he only sees me as a confident and emotional support, I'd definitely be seen as less important lmao. Honestly even talking about the possibility of me being his second wife hurts my pride and ego so much.

It's really creepy and sad how his wife is in on it too

She is been like this even since they met. She immediately realised that the only way she could have him was if she was willing to include me into their relationship. Ever since I met her she'd say things like " I really wouldn't mind him taking a second wife, even if it's my sister it'd be okay" blah blah blah. She knew she couldn't have had him otherwise. I feel bad for her in a way. Even if it's not me, he'll definitely end up taking a second wife because he can afford 4 wives (in Islam, you can have up to 4 wives).

Is there any way to block/keep him and her from contacting you?

No because he is my second cousin... It's not Alabama, It's just Islam lol

Anyway we always run into each other one way or another.

 

[RedHarlequin]

A few months ago, I made multiple posts venting about a guy who was messing with my feelings since we were teens. I'm 25 now.

He got married earlier this year. Unfortunately this was my main reason for being suicidal at the moment.

Now this clown sent me a link towards an article that talks about the benefits of polygamy for women, implying that he'd like me to consider becoming his second wife (I live in a Muslim country).

I can't even

Fuck no.

 

[Insomniac]

Fuck no.

he belongs to the streets doesn't he

 

[RedHarlequin]

he belongs to the streets doesn't he

Well, you already said that he is a clown in your title, so at least subconsciously know this better than any of us!

 

[Insomniac]

so at least subconsciously

but I still do love him.. I'm beyond help I think

 

[RedHarlequin]

but I still do love him.. I'm beyond help I think

This will be a weird and maybe a bit insensitive- but I have to ask you.. are you a loner in general, or do you have good friends, valuable colleagues, understanding family, some hobbies that don't involve being by yourself all the time?
Could it be that you are so desperate of human contact (its not your fault, ewe are programmed this way) that you might take any affection shown to you?


Edit:
I am myself a total introvert, I spend 95% of my time alone and I was in a shitty relationship for 6 years. I didn't have anything to compare it to, it was my first real relationship, I got desperate to be in one, I liked some aspects of him, and was madly in love with the idea of him.
Every time I hang abound healthy people (doesn't happen too often though, and get validation from someone else, my brain is like, what the hell, what did you even do speeding so much time with him and taking all the abuse).

 

[whatevs]

He just wants you as a side piece. It's really creepy and sad how his wife is in on it too. Avoid both of them if you can.

Incredibly creepy. Has A V O I D written all over it. Thing is, these creeps look for desperate people to use or subjugate them. They know OP would actually consider it knowing her mental state.

 

[Insomniac]

This will be a weird and maybe a bit insensitive- but I have to ask you.. are you a loner in general, or do you have good friends, valuable colleagues, understanding family, some hobbies that don't involve being by yourself all the time?
Could it be that you are so desperate of human contact (its not your fault, ewe are programmed this way) that you might take any affection shown to you?


Edit:
I am myself a total introvert, I spend 95% of my time alone and I was in a shitty relationship for 6 years. I didn't have anything to compare it to, it was my first real relationship, I got desperate to be in one, I liked some aspects of him, and was madly in love with the idea of him.
Every time I hang abound healthy people (doesn't happen too often though, and get validation from someone else, my brain is like, what the hell, what did you even do speeding so much time with him and taking all the abuse).

No don't worry. You're right. I'm totally a desperate loner because there NO WAY someone who has self respect would even stay in touch with these creeps

 

[RedHarlequin]

No don't worry. You're right. I'm totally a desperate loner because there NO WAY someone who has self respect would even stay in touch with these creeps

Same here, same here. So I didn't want to make you feel bad about your life situation, I just relate to this on a personal level.