favourite

favourite

Student
Feb 15, 2019
191
If you were about to ctb, would you record it for the whole world to see? Would you say anything about your reasons or would you just stare contemptuously at the camera while putting a gun to your head?

Being suicidal, I often daydream about my very last day on earth. In my dreams, I always have a lot of time, my own flat, and a reliable gun and jar of xanax by my side. Then I turn my laptop camera on, sit on my bed and start ranting about everything that pushed me to the point of no return, thank my internet friends for being there for me sometimes, then I warn viewers of what they are about to see, and shot this fucking head off. I guess I would't stream this, I'd rather have it automatically posted after all is done.
 
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throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,446
No. I would never do that. I wish I could just dissapear and be forgotten.
 
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favourite

favourite

Student
Feb 15, 2019
191
I probably wouldn't too (would like to, but it's too attention-whorey imo), but I like to fantasize about it.
 
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Jayxtri

Jayxtri

Student
Mar 6, 2019
123
What is the reason for that. Will traumatize people and may call authorities on you. Moreover your death will be on the internet where you will be judged forever.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
I want it to be a statement that death is positive. At the very least, I'll be dressed smart-casual in my best, clean shaven etc. Not my normal daily old stuff with holes. I want my last few hours to be "fun". I just want to spoil myself in a few fairly humble ways. I want to record that bit, but not the suicide itself. But I want people to find my body in a way that resembles a funeral with champagne. My psych said that's not delusional LMAO! What the hell would you call that then
 
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S

Santiago

Mage
Mar 25, 2018
588
Absolutely not. Why would I want to share my last moment with the society that ruined it all in the first place
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
What is the reason for that. Will traumatize people and may call authorities on you. Moreover your death will be on the internet where you will be judged forever.
I don't give a fuck what people think of me*. I just want to stand up for my beliefs, and leave a final "I did it my way so fuck you"

*anymore
 
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Jayxtri

Jayxtri

Student
Mar 6, 2019
123
I don't give a fuck what people think of me*. I just want to stand up for my beliefs, and leave a final "I did it my way so fuck you"

*anymore
It's a personal choice no denying that. If it doesn't bother you then whatever.......it's you life and your death. Who the fuck are we to judge
 
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venom.52

venom.52

Member
Dec 20, 2018
53
No I wouldn't do that, I don't want to be a case study to be studied upon. I don't want to be a attention drawing ahole, death is not a thing you'd want likes for on Facebook and Instagram, damn social media is such a disgrace in this day and age, even if someone wanted to give a final "fuck you" like some other user pointed out, I don't think the world would give a single fuck about it and rather they'll be laughed upon and treated like a rare specimen in the media unfortunately, that'll only add humiliation for the surviving family and friends,it wont accomplish anything. Instead, I wish my final moments are peaceful and I disappear alone and quickly without too much publicity/limelight... but hey, that's my opinion though just like everyone's entitled to theirs.. As they say,To each his own!
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
It's a personal choice no denying that. If it doesn't bother you then whatever.......it's you life and your death. Who the fuck are we to judge
Sorry I didn't mean to seem confrontational! I just get easily excited. I have problems. But truce!!
No I wouldn't do that, I don't want to be a case study to be studied upon. I don't want to be a attention drawing ahole, death is not a thing you'd want likes for on Facebook and Instagram, damn social media is such a disgrace in this day and age, even if someone wanted to give a final "fuck you" like some other user pointed out, I don't think the world would give a single fuck about it and rather they'll be laughed upon and treated like a rare specimen in the media unfortunately, that'll only add humiliation for the surviving family and friends,it wont accomplish anything. Instead, I wish my final moments are peaceful and i disappear alone and quickly without too much publicity/limelight... that's my opinion though..To each his own!
I REALLY like your honesty about that. I actually have precious little common sense.

But if I don't care about my likes, nor do my family, and changing the world at all in life didn't work, so if I do it in death, it probably won't do anything. But I'm going to just shout what I believe, I don't give a fuck who likes it!! I'm just being true to myself. It's like a primal animal behaviour coming out maybe.
 
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R

Roadkill

Experienced
Dec 25, 2018
247
I would only record it if it were a decapitation... It'd be pretty funny when all the people watching it would be shrieking in horror as my severed head was rolling across the ground.. I'd try and blink a couple of times to make them scream even more
 
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C

Cookiedough8956

Wowzers
Feb 24, 2019
636
heck no! I know this sounds pretty shallow, but what happens if I look ...grotesque while passing, why would I want anyone to see that?

Other than that, no. It would hurt my family to no end, and dumb-ass ppl are gonna be passing it around getting a thrill off of it.
lots of sickos.

suicide is a personal matter
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
This is a dark fucking thread. Tho you know what, it occurred to me.

When people die, they want others by their bedside as they pass.

So what the fuck do we have? All we have is the fucking internet because suicide is illegal.

So some people might want to talk on the forum, a chatroom, or share their last moments. OK the decapitation thing makes the point clear that capturing and sharing the suicide itself is pointless and pretty sick, but the core issue is people want modern day ways of dying with people around them who give some kind of a shit
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,815
I wouldn't really record, mostly because of security reasons; I don't want to risk failure or intervention while I attempt in progress. Also, if I was going, I'd have many delayed emails, notes, and might even have a delayed video explaining my reasoning. Then I would make my exit.
 
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venom.52

venom.52

Member
Dec 20, 2018
53
I would only record it if it were a decapitation... It'd be pretty funny when all the people watching it would be shrieking in horror as my severed head was rolling across the ground.. I'd try and blink a couple of times to make them scream even more
Now, that's some wicked sense of humour Sir! Are you associated with the Game Of Thrones screenplay writing department in any way?
 
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Fucking loving it

Fucking loving it

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
378
No. It's very personal to me.
 
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InkBlot

InkBlot

What Do You See?
Sep 17, 2018
162
I would. Just so others can use my method with proven results. Just a pain to rig it, so everyone can be safe from FBI.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
Couldn't this count, for like, extreme activism? No doubt it can be traumatic. It's like leaving a nasty suicide note for someone. I'd consider doing a video for Theresa May but I don't think it would affect that bitch in the slightest.
 
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Quinlor

Quinlor

The stranger
Feb 21, 2019
1,058
My death will be very boring for people wanting to see me.
 
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favourite

favourite

Student
Feb 15, 2019
191
Couldn't this count, for like, extreme activism? No doubt it can be traumatic. It's like leaving a nasty suicide note for someone. I'd consider doing a video for Theresa May but I don't think it would affect that bitch in the slightest.

I guess it doesnt count as radical activism if you don't throw any political bs in your rant. btw not so long ago a guy in my country set himself on fire in the act of protest against our gov. nothing changed and he was soon forgotten.

I'd just want the world to know that sadness prevails. no one to blame.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
I guess it doesnt count as radical activism if you don't throw any political bs in your rant. btw not so long ago a guy in my country set himself on fire in the act of protest against our gov. nothing changed and he was soon forgotten.

I'd just want the world to know that sadness prevails. no one to blame.
Makes voting seem pointless. Sorry to turn this political but the people have so little power
 
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C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
Couldn't this count, for like, extreme activism? No doubt it can be traumatic. It's like leaving a nasty suicide note for someone. I'd consider doing a video for Theresa May but I don't think it would affect that bitch in the slightest.
One thing I have against it is that while you'd try to make your point across on the video, the sites hosting these types of videos are gore sites like Liveleak/Bestgore,/YNC and I don't want to have a video of my most personal moment and share it with the likes of people who get off by that type of stuff imo. They don't care about your thoughts they only want to see you suffer.
 
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Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
Yes, I would. For others to consult, for professional, academic, or personal research.

Ideally, I would like to be able to allow someone to be present to not just record, but also take note of my vital signs, etc., like what Russel Ogden has done*. It is unfortunate that liability issues prevent this, as it really puts a constraint on the amount of data that's available surrounding ctb.

I would not, however, live stream it, do an interactive chat, tweet an announcement, etc.

*https://journals.lww.com/amjforensi..._of_Two_Suicides_by_Helium_Inhalation.12.aspx
Unfortunately, I couldn't find an accessible version of this paper anywhere.
 
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Jodes

Jodes

Enlightened
Nov 23, 2018
1,261
One thing I have against it is that while you'd try to make your point across on the video, the sites hosting these types of videos are gore sites like Liveleak/Bestgore,/YNC and I don't want to have a video of my most personal moment and share it with the likes of people who get off by that type of stuff imo. They don't care about your thoughts they only want to see you suffer.
Ugh - thanks. Repulsive
 
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elizabeth.luck

elizabeth.luck

Eliminate your map.
Mar 10, 2019
124
I wouldn't want my actual death to be recorded but would love to make a 30 minute video explaining all of my reasons. That would make me feel so alive. I wish I could do that.
 
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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
No. My death will be my own, no-one deserves to be witness to it. If society forces me to die alone they can bloody well fuck off. I'll explain what I want to explain in letters.

The upside to recording one's death would be that it would draw attention if that is desired but most likely people will think you're batshit crazy anyway.

It might offer evidence as to one's rational state of mind: if one is able to coherently and calmly state the reasons why and then pull the trigger without hesitation or showing great emotion or fear it should be clear enough you weren't distressed at the moment of death.
 
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R

Roadkill

Experienced
Dec 25, 2018
247
Now, that's some wicked sense of humour Sir! Are you associated with the Game Of Thrones screenplay writing department in any way?
haha... no, I am not
 
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P

Psilo

Arcanist
Dec 29, 2018
482
I hate cameras, then I hate photos, but the thing I hate the most is when people watch other people killing themself and going through so much pain. I mean there are people that enjoy watching this and its wrong.
 
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W

Walilamdzi

.
Mar 21, 2019
1,700
No, I wouldn't want to be made a spectacle of and it would be upsetting to loved ones. Ideally I would drift away in my sleep peacefully.
 
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pinkblanket55

pinkblanket55

Member
Mar 14, 2019
76
I'd consider doing it via a video call with a SS Member if someone else was willing. For 2 reasons 1) feel less alone 2) if it were say SN or SA , the other person could report back to the group about how long it takes, how much suffering etc
 
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