car crash (which would be incredibly funny in an 'open at the close' sort of way with my trauma history
yeahhhhhh~ rofl~ We literally just talked about that! xDDD
It would also be far easier for my loved ones to cope with- my brother and childhood best friend have both lost people close to them from suicide, and it's devastated them. It's painful to think of compounding their own trauma with the subject: and they've both expressed directly to me that it would hurt them badly if I killed myself. So, being offed in some other fashion- well, it would still be rough on them, I imagine, but easier to swallow than my suicide.
I'm sorry about that~ :( While no one close to anyone in my family has died by sewer slide, it is a whole lot more, well, uncomfy for them than murder (where 1 can have proper memorials and such), so I understand completely~ >_<
I would feel bad in both cases, getting just slain would feel like such a waste, not being strong enough to overcome what was coming, dying in a dumb car crash while there were greater things to do and achieve, atleast in a war it would be for the Nation.. I bet though that if I died because of any reason I will just feel guilt in the end, because I didn't fulfill my purpose and lost the vision that the past me wanted me to have. All things considered though I agree, cbt really would make my family feel bad too, what would be a shame
speaking of which, dying for a reason or purpose~ >:3 you could become a martyr whether it be for your religion or country, and then, you could become a saint or be one of those names engraved in memorials~ makes me scared to know how big the Russo-Ukraine War's memorial will be! >_<
Murdered because that way I wouldn't have to do anything. Since everybody's agreed the world would be a better place without me in it, you'd think somebody would just do the right thing and remove me. But no.
yeah, being abandoned without any social connections is the worst~ :( I hate it~ >_< I'm sorry that you have to suffer through it as well~ :( people say they care, but we all know they just lie...
Murdered, mainly because of a fear a torturous afterlife if I do ctb
same~ >_< that and parents makes me feel like I'll never ctb even though my life is such suffering~ :( If I'm already doing something really gray, I better not risk it completely by doing something definitely wrong~ >_<
I want to get ignominiously kicked to death in a grimy town centre in the pissing rain by a gang of youths, all of whom are medical students with government sanctioned licences to kill and are therefore Compassionate
rofl~ You're so silly! :3 It may be dark, but I admire it~ :)
I wish someone would just do it for me. I hate how hard it is to CTB. The only method is have is not reliable. I'm scared of failure and ending up in a psych ward loosing my job and apartment. Too chicken shit to actually try it. Everyday I wish that I don't wake up and I literally curse out loud when I do. I hate this. I need somebody to just kill me already.
relatable~ :((( even when I do get super sewer slidal, I realize that timing is everything, and I have to wait for when I have fewer responsibilities in order to actually do it, but that's when things are actually somewhat survivable, so it's all so~ >_< aaaaaaaaaaaa. In short, yes, the psych ward and getting your life ruined by it is very scary, yes :(
I'd rather CTB, but a part of me wishes I could get murdered. I deserve it for being a scum of the earth. Don't know why no one has done it to me yet.
I'm sorry you feel that way~ :( All of us are broken in this broken world, so it's not like you're uniquely terrible~ :) idk if you wish to talk about it, but if you truly feel that way, you can start treating others here with love and eventually those irl too, truly caring about them (unlike how many of us have been mistreated by others), so you can make up for your past misdeeds with better deeds~ :)