Would you rather find a family member dead at home or have someone find them somewhere else?

[stilhavinightmares]

I am trying to decide where to kill myself. At home I'd only be alone for a few hours and my spouse would find me (this runs the risk of being found before it finishes me). Other options like a hotel or a wooded area, someone else would find me but my spouse would go through even more hell freaking out all night before I'm found.

 

[restless.dreams]

I think I would rather have someone else find the body. I personally wouldn't want to see a family member that way, and I don't know if I could go on living in the home where they died without constantly being reminded of what happened. Just my two cents.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

I would rather have someone else find me if possible, but unfortunately, I can't do that. I live in a foreign country separate from my family, and I'm afraid that they're going to have to spend a fair amount of money if they want to fly my body back. But by all means, if it's not going to cost your family emotionally/financially, I'd find a hotel for a night. Maybe you can tell your spouse that you need to make a business trip or go to a reunion or something.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I would rather have someone else find me if possible, but unfortunately, I can't do that. I live in a foreign country separate from my family, and I'm afraid that they're going to have to spend a fair amount of money if they want to fly my body back. But by all means, if it's not going to cost your family emotionally/financially, I'd find a hotel for a night. Maybe you can tell your spouse that you need to make a business trip or go to a reunion or something.

I don't have any reasons to be gone for a night unfortunately. I haven't been working for over a year and anything I come up with would be suspicious because we talk about everything. Thanks for your response though

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

I am trying to decide where to kill myself. At home I'd only be alone for a few hours and my spouse would find me (this runs the risk of being found before it finishes me). Other options like a hotel or a wooded area, someone else would find me but my spouse would go through even more hell freaking out all night before I'm found.

After talking to different people and getting many perspective, the best way is to CTB in a hotel room and leave everybody a note.

Others options would be hell and could bring even more unnecessary pain to all involved.

 

[ctbcat]

this whole thread is exactly why im choosing to go in a local forest (beyond of course that it's just a tranquil place & will be isolated)

 

[stilhavinightmares]

this whole thread is exactly why im choosing to go in a local forest (beyond of course that it's just a tranquil place & will be isolated)

After talking to different people and getting many perspective, the best way is to CTB in a hotel room and leave everybody a note.

Others options would be hell and could bring even more unnecessary pain to all involved.

I think I would rather have someone else find the body. I personally wouldn't want to see a family member that way, and I don't know if I could go on living in the home where they died without constantly being reminded of what happened. Just my two cents.

Thank you so much for your replies. Super helpful and insightful. I definitely won't do it at home then.

I have a decent spot in a wooded area that I scoped out yesterday, and a hotel if I wind up going that route. In nature would be the most comfortable for me. I appreciate you all!

 

[mortuarymary]

Depends on the death.
i found my husband dead in the bedroom. He had a heart attack. Apart from shock, I was ok.
if it was via hanging or something then I think that's so much worse. Especially when they try and cut you down before the police get there. Awful scenario

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Depends on the death.
i found my husband dead in the bedroom. He had a heart attack. Apart from shock, I was ok.
if it was via hanging or something then I think that's so much worse. Especially when they try and cut you down before the police get there. Awful scenario

Oh yes that definitely plays a part. I'm so sorry about your husband. Mine will be an overdose with possible SN involvement so it has a potential to be a bit messy. You're right though, it would be so awful for my spouse to manage if I were in the house. I guess I'd have to hurt her by being "missing" for some time before someone finds my body.

 

[bridge-walking]

i dont want my family to be the ones to find me. dont like if i end up on the news to so that is hard for in public places. maybe a hotel room is the best but cant really hang myself in that one and hard to get big tanks inside i think if i can find them for nitrogen method.

 

[eLdus]

I'm faced with the same decision over location and find this thread helpful, thankyou.

 

[peaches]

Thank you for this thread. One of the most difficult things for me is that I desperately need to ctb and at the same time, I have a spouse who really loves and cares for me.
This is one of the aspects that makes me feel so lonely. The love and caring my spouse who is a really good person isn't enough to override all in me that is broken.

I noticed that people write on this site that they have no one that cares for them. I also know what it's like to be that kind of alone. But finding a close and caring partner did not heal anything for me. There was/is such damage done, and it lingers and it's so deep and horrible that nothing in my life today provides comfort.
But whenever, and however, I ctb, I want to protect my spouse as much as possible.
He doesn't deserve this and I don't think anyone other people on this site could possibly understand that my unique pain is so much bigger than any source of comfort.

I really appreciate this site and all of you who speak so honestly.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Thank you for this thread. One of the most difficult things for me is that I desperately need to ctb and at the same time, I have a spouse who really loves and cares for me.
This is one of the aspects that makes me feel so lonely. The love and caring my spouse who is a really good person isn't enough to override all in me that is broken.

I noticed that people write on this site that they have no one that cares for them. I also know what it's like to be that kind of alone. But finding a close and caring partner did not heal anything for me. There was/is such damage done, and it lingers and it's so deep and horrible that nothing in my life today provides comfort.
But whenever, and however, I ctb, I want to protect my spouse as much as possible.
He doesn't deserve this and I don't think anyone other people on this site could possibly understand that my unique pain is so much bigger than any source of comfort.

I really appreciate this site and all of you who speak so honestly.

Hugs to you. Same situation here. I want to make everything as easy as possible for her. I want to protect her but there's only so much I can do now before I give all that up when I'm dead. The pain and guilt inside me for hurting my family yet wanting so desperately to die feels like hell. I feel stuck all the time.