Venting Would you punish the kid who ruined your life?

[Can'tStandAnymore]

I'm talking about bullying. It happened 2 years ago. My life was terrible as fuck because of my anxiety but I was still have an amazing potential to live an incredible life as in my own perspect. At one day, once I got called gay on middle school. A person I know is mostly responsible for that event. And after this, I stupidly telled everything to my family. I was already very shy and anxious and was lack of any self confident. The day I telled these to my family, my mom overly reacted to this event, and I got traumatized from that event.

I will shortly explain the rest of this. I took antidepressant and all the thing started after then, neurodegeneration(cognitive abilities), lost of libido, flattened emotions, motor dysfunction etc. I'm not any exaggerating but this have "completely" ruined my life. And I'm here now.


What would you do in this situation? Who is more responsible? My family? My classmates? The psychiatrist I went to?

I must be dead in a one or two weeks. My family intimidating me. If I fail on exams (The last one was pretty bad, my symptoms were gone quite bad lastly), they will turn my life into a hell. They rejected every fucking damn thing I said to them. They don't believe even a bit. Just taking all technologies away from me and blaming me for not studying enough. OH GOD...
I'm better to dead until the results will come. It's so fucked up. I can't decide who is more responsible in that.

Spoiler: Good news

I'm not a homophobic anymore by the way, lol. Thank you astolfo.

 

[Alecsa]

I'm sorry life has been unfair to you. I don't really know what to say, you've been through a lot. I hope you find peace in whatever your decision may be.

They say the suicide of a person is in itself enough punishment for the people left behind. But personally I don't think my life mattered enough for that to be the case.

Personally I really can't find it in me to blame anyone for how my life has turned out. I am frail, I just wasn't cut out for things the way other are, not as fortunate either. In the end, there's no one else to blame but myself - no matter how unfair the situation is. I wasn't smart, strong, brave etc. enough.

I'm sorry you had to go through all of those, but Im also glad you found some enlightenment about not being homophobic.

Lots of warm hugs.

××

 

[salvation]

It was all the kids my whole life. i was always the kid getting beaten up thrown into trashcans and called names. Even teachers bullied me.

 

[TAW122]

No I wouldn't (maybe if you asked me when I was younger, then I probably woulda been thirsty for vengeance.), as when I got older I realized that kids are generally immature and they got their own issues. Nowadays, I wouldn't want vengeance, only want to ensure my exit from this horrible world.