Discussion Would you have imagined to end up on a suicide forum?

[noname223]

With 15 I thought I would kill myself immediately if something bad happened. Well I am still here after more than a decade torture. So with 15 I would have answered no.
With 18 I lurked for the first time on a Swiss suicide forum. But I messed up the registration and was denied. I think I really started to like the atmosphere of suicide forum to this time. It fits to my depressed and melacholic mood always centered around suicide. The topic suicide is less stigmatized than in other mental health forums and there is less censorship. So with 18 my answer would have been yes.

It would be ironic if I was still here in a decade always talking about my imminent suicide.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I used to be really into video game forums so suicide forums aren't that much of a stretch for me.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I used to watch liveleak, have accounts on eating disorder forums and substance abuse forums, and was also active on Tieba forums (a Chinese website) for eating disorders and self harm before the crackdown. So it's not that surprising that I eventually found SS.

 

[stayedtoolong]

I never knew about this forum until very recently. Never thought something like this exists but I am in a way grateful as I am surrounded by likeminded people who really do understand.

 

[Cyagangy]

With 15 I thought I would kill myself immediately if something bad happened. Well I am still here after more than a decade torture. So with 15 I would have answered no.
With 18 I lurked for the first time on a Swiss suicide forum. But I messed up the registration and was denied. I think I really started to like the atmosphere of suicide forum to this time. It fits to my depressed and melacholic mood always centered around suicide. The topic suicide is less stigmatized than in other mental health forums and there is less censorship. So with 18 my answer would have been yes.

It would be ironic if I was still here in a decade always talking about my imminent suicide.

This is the first ever forum site I have been on if you don't can't Iwaku or Reddit. Honestly no but I found a video talking about this place and it indirectly helped me.

 

[wCvML2]

Maybe, there's no hidden contract you sign that you have to commit suicide if you make an account on a forum discussing suicide so I probably would have signed up even if I found out about it when I wasn't actively suicidal. It's not uncommon for people who plan how to end their lives to never use it, sometimes the plans are meant to calm our anxiety of being trapped in this world.

 

[kyhoti]

After several family members cashed their tickets in or tried to, I picked and poked around the self-help sites. It wasn't until recently that I found this place when looking for my own path for ctb. If you'd asked me three years ago, I'd have said no.

 

[Steff1337]

Since I'm chronically on and off suicidal since the age of 16, it isn't strange to me that I ended up on this forum.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Sure. I've had ideation for 25 years, on and off. In my high school yearbook, a friend actually wrote "don't kill yourself!" under my pic.

I've been depressed for as long as I can remember.

 

[amnesia999]

I didn't know this forum existed until I started doing a bunch of web searches into how to CTB a few months ago. I came upon that infamous NYT article about this site and found it. I'm not really suicidal right now but the people here are supportive, I can get my negative thoughts off my chest, and the mods aren't control freaks like they are in some other forums I could name. In other words, it's a pretty good place to hang out.

 

[N33dT0D13]

I think I wouldn't be too phased if I'd stumbled upon SaSu as a teen or tween even, felt like shit then lmao

 

[Agon321]

Honestly, I thought that these types of sites were illegal.
I thought that in such matters I should primarily look for information on the "dark web".

I am glad that I was wrong.

But to answer the question, I wanted to find a site with information about CTB, so in a sense I expected it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I never thought I would really reach a point in my life where killing myself would become as real as it did last year. It took so much to finally break me, to give up on everything and that was the day when I searched for suicide communities for the first time in my life - I felt so alone with unsolvable problems that left me no other option but to kms.

 

[lemonbunny]

I never thought I would really reach a point in my life where killing myself would become as real as it did last year. It took so much to finally break me, to give up on everything and that was the day when I searched for suicide communities for the first time in my life - I felt so alone with unsolvable problems that left me no other option but to kms.

same, exactly this

 

[Forever Sleep]

From age 10- yes. We didn't really have the internet back then though.

 

[etherealspring]

i think younger me would have felt a lot of relief and comfort if i found this website sooner. ive been chronically online since i was a tween so it's not surprising i found this forum

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I'll be honest, I had no idea a place like this even existed so no way I could've even imagined myself landing here. All in all I'm glad I found this site, one step forward to being able to express feelings I would usually be shut down for.

 

[Arachno]

Nope, if I told younger me that I would end up here I don't think they wouldn't believe it. Even though I've been having dark thoughts since young age too. Younger me would have thought that forums like these are very obscure, illegal and only exist on the dark web or something

 

[amnesia999]

dark web

Don't know if it's been proposed, but having an *.onion site that mirrored the regular site is a great idea. It could stay up if this site were ever taken down.

 

[Arachno]

Don't know if it's been proposed, but having an *.onion site that mirrored the regular site is a great idea. It could stay up if this site were ever taken down.

I'm pretty sure SaSu has an .onion mirror

 

[enduringwinter]

Yeah I've always hated my life and my existence for as long as I can remember. It just sucks so bad. I remember my childhood and even at 2yo I was in tremendous pain. I've actually gotten gradually better as I age because my economic situation and coping abilities improved.

 

[Ramsay Fiction]

No, mostly because it seemed like something that would be harder to find for some reason. Obviously I was just ignorant. Other than that, yes.

 

[3/4Dead]

not surprising at all, no.

 

[abusedanimal6]

since I was a child I knew I would turn out to be a fuck up

 

[Trying To Live]

In recent years, yes

 

[mikuhappy]

sadly yes