Would you get rid of your neurodivergence?

[sserafim]

This question is for neurodivergent people. If you could get rid of your neurodivergence, or have been born neurotypical instead, would you?

People often tell us that our neurodivergence is a "gift" and makes us "unique", but if I had the choice to get rid of my neurodivergence, I would in a heartbeat. So far it's only made my life miserable and hard for me to become a "real adult" or live a "real life". Honestly, fuck ASD. I hate having to live with this curse (on top of ADHD as well)

 

[SpiritualDeath]

I don't know tbh. I can't imagine what "the nt version of me" would be like, but I have a feeling that I would still suffer for being brought into this brutal existence, just in different ways.

It's never a gift. Life itself is not a gift but a curse.

 

[busybee]

I would like to become a useful part of society but I fear that I will lose that tiny bit of actual personality I got.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have autism and I would choose no, honestly. Autism isn't what I have a problem with, I just don't see any value in existing overall and I prefer the sound of not existing under every circumstance, I just wish I never existed in the first place, I have a problem with existence itself, I very strongly believe that existence just causes harm.

 

[sserafim]

I have autism and I would choose no, honestly. Autism isn't what I have a problem with, I just don't see any value in existing overall and I prefer the sound of not existing under every circumstance, I just wish I never existed in the first place, I have a problem with existence itself, I very strongly believe that existence just causes harm.

I also agree that my problem is with existing. However, I still have to live this life until I ctb, and getting rid of my asperger's/autism and ADHD would make my life so much easier. Right now they're making my life like a game on hard mode. I wish I could play on easy mode instead.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Well I bet the Asperger Syndrome is what makes it so hard for me to socialize normally with people and function in life so yes I would love to get rid of that shit.

 

[sserafim]

Well I bet the Asperger Syndrome is what makes it so hard for me to socialize normally with people and function in life so yes I would love to get rid of that shit.

Yes this is my problem entirely! I hate having ASD level 1/Asperger's. What cruel God decided for me to have Asperger's on top of ADHD? What the actual fuck? I wish that there was a button I could push to get rid of Asperger's. It's such a stupid condition for no reason. It makes it so hard to interact with people or fit into society

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's an interesting question. I can't even say autism ruined my life because I never had a life to begin with because of if lmao. It's no coincidence that autistic people are disproportionately represented in spaces like this.

I have a lot of trauma from having to be neurodivergent in a world hostile to it and from having to deal with it alone.

If I could change it I'm not sure it would much help much. Things are pretty unsalvageable at this point.

 

[aiki__0]

Yes 100%
I would not be suicidal if I did not have autism. The relentless bullying I got throughout my whole life for doing nothing to no one, being unable to keep a job, cant finish uni, I fucking hate autism

 

[sserafim]

It's an interesting question. I can't even autism ruined my life because I never had a life to begin with because of if lmao. It's no coincidence that autistic people are disproportionately represented in spaces like this.

I have a lot of trauma from having to be neurodivergent in a world hostile to it and from having to deal with it alone.

If I could change to I'm not sure it would much help much. Things are pretty unsalvageable at this point.

Yeah same, it's like I never had a life to begin with as well. I can't function as a real human being. I don't even feel like one though, I feel like I was born in the wrong planet. Sorry to hear about your trauma. I have trauma as well from being bullied in middle school for no reason. Ugh life is just hard for us aspies. And for no good reason!

Yes 100%
I would not be suicidal if I did not have autism. The relentless bullying I got throughout my whole life for doing nothing to no one, being unable to keep a job, cant finish uni, I fucking hate autism

Same! I feel like my aspergers is a major factor in me being suicidal. We weren't made for this planet or society, but still have to live in it. It's just the fact that I'm not suited for this world. Being a human being is second nature to me, I still don't know how to socialize or interact with people. Social cues and body language are second nature to me, idk how people instinctively know these things. Ugh I don't even feel like a human being, and never even wanted to be one.

Sorry to hear that you were bullied. I was bullied as well and it's just not fair for us to have to have this condition. It impacts social interaction/functioning but also makes executive function shit. It's literally like worst of both worlds. Idk why autism/asperger's even has to exist honestly. I was able to finish college with much struggle but I can't hold down a job either. I think I wasn't meant to be a human being and I'm not fit to be one….

 

[spinningship]

Tbh no. But I'm pretty privileged in that my autism lets me excel in STEM subjects so I have a passion to pursue and research to motivate me with no end in sight. That to me is more valuable than any superficial social events or whatever I might be missing out on. And I have the opportunity to be friends with a bunch of really interesting fellow autists. I acknowledge that I am a very small minority of ppl with ASD, and I think the figure is smth like only 20% manage to find employment, and if I were in that situation I would want rid just as much as everyone else.

This question to me is quite philosophically interesting. See in my view there would be no you to talk of without autism, you would be a completely different person. It impacts your entire way of thinking and being. So what you're really asking is if you would rather be another person. But what does it mean to want to be another person? I think if you wanted to be that person you would be that person, as your wants would align with theirs more than your own no? It's just a very confusing thing to think through, and there is some argument that makes sense in my head that i'm not quite translating well into words.

I'm probably taking the question too literally tbh. Something that has kinda changed my view on autism a bit recently is reading about the autistic neanderthal theory: http://franklludwig.com/neanderthal.html. Which basically posits that autism is a result of a certain percentage of neanderthal dna, making us essentially a genetic hybrid. People often think of neanderthals as being dumb but in fact this is just a stereotype and far from the truth and increasingly it seems they were actually smarter than us. Severe autism then is akin to a liger the mixture between a lion and a tiger where it becomes a disability because these two things really shouldn't have been breeding. Neanderthals tended to stick to small groups, and lived in the cold so had to preserve energy by not doing unnecessary things, and hence the obsession with truth. If this theory holds, we are the remnants of an alternative species just as intelligent as humans, but with a totally different way of being and I think there is something beautiful about that.

 

[abcz]

I would get rid of it. I have autism and found out when I was in 7th grade. It is not super noticeable, but I know it is there. They also thought I had adhd at one point because of it, although it was later found that I didn't have it.

In 8th grade, I went to a school and it had a program called "the spectrum program" for people with autistic characteristics. (we were moving anyways for my dad's work and the school just happened to have this) Overall, I wouldn't say the program was awful. I didn't like it because I didn't enjoy most of the activities with it. I really only liked wednesdays because it was study hall day I think so people could get help on their homework. But this took the place of any electives that one would have instead. I was lucky and got a gym game elective during my first semester, but I wasn't able to do any of the other fun electives that they also had. Another issue I had was that I feel that because of this, I was unable to make friends in my grade. I had a group of friends in 7th grade, but the two 8th graders I was friends with were going to switch schools the next year and I was terrified as I would have no one the next year. And I feel that we were def treated differently for being in this program and I hated it tbh. Because of this program, I was begging my parents to hold me back or let me go to public school because I didn't want to spend another year there and have no friends this time. I was releaved when we moved away after one year.

Since then, I have always seen it as something that makes me worse. A way to be discriminated against. I'm sorry to anyone out there that is proud of this or sees this as something positive, and I know that people can be great people while being autisitic, I just don't have good experiences with it.

 

[Sagew0789]

No I don't think I would, I've been diagnosed with ADHD and it's just who I am.
If I just got rid of it I can imagine it being difficult to adjust and deal with the change

 

[ogerpon]

Autism has shaped so much of my past and worldview and trauma that I have no idea who I would be after getting rid of it, so I probably wouldn't press the miracle button. A lot of my abuse was centered around my autistic traits and having to mask them super young to the point where I never developed a sense of identity. I'd probably be so much better off being born someone completely different that could function and that wasn't instantly targeted as an "other" from my parents to school to where I am now. I think I still would've been abused and predisposed to mental/chronic illness, but maybe it wouldn't be disabling in the way it is now.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yeah same, it's like I never had a life to begin with as well. I can't function as a real human being. I don't even feel like one though, I feel like I was born in the wrong planet. Sorry to hear about your trauma. I have trauma as well from being bullied in middle school for no reason. Ugh life is just hard for us aspies. And for no good reason!

A middle school teacher told me she was worried about what high school would be like for me. If I didn't know then what she meant I sure do now. And I think you do too. While her concerns about high school were definitely justified that was just little league. It was everything after that was the real problem lmao.

 

[viljalauss]

i wouldn't get rid of my autism cause i've learned so much how to live rn, but whatever memory problems i have (ad(h?)d) have only hurt my life and i'd 100% do without them. having real hyperfixations could genuinely help me but i can barely entertain those and i have no working memory. ngl i think memory problems are a lot of the reason i need to ctb cause i can't think through things in depth however much i give the impression i can and it fucking sucks ))))):

 

[spinningship]

i wouldn't get rid of my autism cause i've learned so much how to live rn, but whatever memory problems i have (ad(h?)d) have only hurt my life and i'd 100% do without them. having real hyperfixations could genuinely help me but i can barely entertain those and i have no working memory. ngl i think memory problems are a lot of the reason i need to ctb cause i can't think through things in depth however much i give the impression i can and it fucking sucks ))))):

agree adhd fucking sucks

 

[sserafim]

agree adhd fucking sucks

Ikr, adhd sucks…lol unfortunately I have both asperger's AND adhd so you can guess how bad my executive function is I have no concept of time, I'm basically time-blind and my organization sucks

This is just my personal opinion though, but I'd prefer to only have adhd bc I wouldn't have social difficulties or problems interacting with others…

 

[spinningship]

Ikr, adhd sucks…lol unfortunately I have both asperger's AND adhd so you can guess how bad my executive function is I have no concept of time, I'm basically time-blind and my organization sucks

This is just my personal opinion though, but I'd prefer to only have adhd bc I wouldn't have social difficulties or problems interacting with others…

oh i have adhd and autism too. But i've heard adhd ppl have the same sorts of problems getting on with ppl. My best friend has adhd and while he can handle ppl he doesn't really have many close friends who aren't adhd or autistic.

 

[sserafim]

i wouldn't get rid of my autism cause i've learned so much how to live rn, but whatever memory problems i have (ad(h?)d) have only hurt my life and i'd 100% do without them. having real hyperfixations could genuinely help me but i can barely entertain those and i have no working memory. ngl i think memory problems are a lot of the reason i need to ctb cause i can't think through things in depth however much i give the impression i can and it fucking sucks ))))):

Same, I'm super impulsive as well and can't commit to anything. I have hyperfixations for a while just to drop them and move onto the next thing. My working memory sucks as well, I can't think things through either. The worst thing though is that I appear neurotypical on the surface and people (my parents) expect me to do the same things that NT's do. They think I should be able to successfully integrate into society just bc I was able to graduate college. But life after college is a special level of hard for us ppl with adhd+aspergers/autism

I don't know tbh. I can't imagine what "the nt version of me" would be like, but I have a feeling that I would still suffer for being brought into this brutal existence, just in different ways.

It's never a gift. Life itself is not a gift but a curse.

Literally! My life is a curse. I wish I were never born. I never even wanted to be alive in the first place

I think I would also still suffer if I were NT because life is suffering, but I think I wouldn't suffer as much…

oh i have adhd and autism too. But i've heard adhd ppl have the same sorts of problems getting on with ppl. My best friend has adhd and while he can handle ppl he doesn't really have many close friends who aren't adhd or autistic.

Yeah I've also heard ppl with adhd have social difficulties, but for a different reason. People with (only) adhd can still read social cues but can't interpret them well cuz they're too distracted. This leads to social difficulties. Tbh I think the social challenges of adhd could be better managed than those from asperger's

However, people with autism just weren't born with the rulebook: they can't interpret social cues or body language, and it doesn't come naturally. We're just not born with this ability

 

[Garf125]

Im seeking to kill myself and if I wasn't neurodivergent I doubt I would be. I believe being autistic has prevented me developing into a complete human being. I do not have a life worth living. I feel as if I have brain damage.

 

[Melly]

I know many other neurodivergent people so I'm biased, but I would rather fix society in general, not force me or others into the mold. I think neurodivergent people are important to provide another perspective and lens on everything. Perceiving things differently and functioning and existing outside of the norm would be so cool if it wasn't for the loneliness, rejection and isolation... But I don't think I'm the one who needs fixing, the world does

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Im seeking to kill myself and if I wasn't neurodivergent I doubt I would be. I believe being autistic has prevented me developing into a complete human being. I do not have a life worth living. I feel as if I have brain damage.

I agree, I probably wouldn't even on this site if I had been NT.

 

[sserafim]

I know many other neurodivergent people so I'm biased, but I would rather fix society in general, not force me or others into the mold. I think neurodivergent people are important to provide another perspective and lens on everything. Perceiving things differently and functioning and existing outside of the norm would be so cool if it wasn't for the loneliness, rejection and isolation... But I don't think I'm the one who needs fixing, the world does

Yeah but the issue is that we're forced to fit into the mold. We'll have to participate in society. I wish that society and the world could be more understanding, but sadly it's not.

 

[borderline-feline]

I hate being autistic. It makes basic tasks into insurmountable obstacles. The same goes for my ADHD. If I could get rid of them and be "normal", then I would in a heartbeat.

 

[wait.what]

I have so many bullshit health issues that I'd be a completely different person without them. For that reason, I'd rather just delete myself from existence entirely than muck about trying to fix this little bit over here and that little bit over there.

 

[リンさん]

In a heartbeat.

I fantasize very often about being normal. If I had to give up my entire personality, my experiences, anything - I would. If there was a cure, I'd take it.

 

[Install-Gentoo]

Yes.
And I dislike the term "neurodivergence" and "neurodiversity". Makes it seem like it's not a mental disorder. Makes it totally fine to abandon any attempts to cure or prevent it. Such a dysgenic ideology.