Would it be terrible if I chose to die instead of pursuing a therapy that could reduce my ptsd?

[dilapidatedMind]

I just can't handle renting a room anymore. The new roommate is kind of a bitch. I can't move though. I'm on disability and finding a place is hard and then adapting to a new place would be harder still.

My life consists of living in my room. I know no one. It's bad all the way around.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

sorry to hear you're in this place.

have you been in therapy before? did it help you at all?

personally, i would pursue the therapy first. you never know what it might do for you. you only get out of therapy what you put into it, though. it won't fix everything, but it might make life more bearable.

and if therapy doesn't end up working, it's okay to choose to die.

 

[dilapidatedMind]

sorry to hear you're in this place.

have you been in therapy before? did it help you at all?

personally, i would pursue the therapy first. you never know what it might do for you. you only get out of therapy what you put into it, though. it won't fix everything, but it might make life more bearable.

and if therapy doesn't end up working, it's okay to choose to die.

I've done years of therapy. This one seems good. But she said i'll be in more emotional distress than I've ever been in before. That plus my toxic roommate is a recipe for more suffering. I'm tired of fucking suffering!!

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i think you should still go for it, despite the emotional distress, especially if it seems like a good option. it's not as if you'll be in emotional distress for no reason.

i understand being averse to it because you don't want to suffer anymore, but it'll most likely help you to avoid more suffering in the long run.

 

[dilapidatedMind]

i think you should still go for it, despite the emotional distress, especially if it seems like a good option. it's not as if you'll be in emotional distress for no reason.

i understand being averse to it because you don't want to suffer anymore, but it'll most likely help you to avoid more suffering in the long run.

New roommate is awful. Can't do therapy with her living here. Need to move but nobody wants to rent to someone on disability.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

why is she awful? is she willing to change if you call her out on her behavior?

 

[MrBlue]

Therapy might be able to help you deal with your roommate if she's abit obnoxious. I think sometimes therapists warn you that you may be in emotional distress because your bringing back bad memories or uncomfortable questions. But I imagine a good therapist will support you through that, and won't leave you to cope with it alone.

Obviously its your decision in the long run. I haven't had any luck with therapy myself but I know lots of people do find it useful. I've been in a similar living situation as you so I know how shitty it can be not knowing anyone. I found it helps talking to someone, even if you decide therapy isn't for you. Do you have someone, like firends/partner/family that you could reach out to?

While none of us on here are therapists, I'm sure the community are more than happy to support you, even if it is just to listen to you vent about whatever's bothering you atm.

 

[Ghost2211]

Sorry to hear your in such a tight spot. Considering you're in a business relationship with your roommate you probably should talk to jet about her rude behavior especially if you're paying to be there. Therapy might help you find ways to communicate with her better, and assert yourself.

 

[FlyMe2TheMoon]

I'm sorry about your situation.
I can't say it's terrible, as death is ultimately your choice and I won't judge you for it.
If you're up for it, there's plenty of ways you can start getting better. As you mentioned, therapy is one of them. If being lonely and having no one is the issue, you could always meet other people online, maybe join some kind of support group.

 

[dilapidatedMind]

why is she awful? is she willing to change if you call her out on her behavior?

When she first moved here, she knocked loudly for me to hurry up in the bathroom. I later told her i have digestive problems. She doesn't knock anymore but complains to herself when I'm in there. There's other bathrooms for fuck sake.

I always feel like a burden in general so having someone complain about me when I'm trying to go to the bathroom makes me upset

Therapy might be able to help you deal with your roommate if she's abit obnoxious. I think sometimes therapists warn you that you may be in emotional distress because your bringing back bad memories or uncomfortable questions. But I imagine a good therapist will support you through that, and won't leave you to cope with it alone.

Obviously its your decision in the long run. I haven't had any luck with therapy myself but I know lots of people do find it useful. I've been in a similar living situation as you so I know how shitty it can be not knowing anyone. I found it helps talking to someone, even if you decide therapy isn't for you. Do you have someone, like firends/partner/family that you could reach out to?

While none of us on here are therapists, I'm sure the community are more than happy to support you, even if it is just to listen to you vent about whatever's bothering you atm.

My ptsd makes me hypersensitive to everything that is a source of conflict.

Sorry to hear your in such a tight spot. Considering you're in a business relationship with your roommate you probably should talk to jet about her rude behavior especially if you're paying to be there. Therapy might help you find ways to communicate with her better, and assert yourself.

She could just deny it and say she wasn't complaining about me but something on her phone. Living with millennials is hell. I hate my generation. So many are passive aggressive and immature,

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

is there any way you could get to know anybody/meet any potential friends? if therapy isn't an option, friends could help take your mind off things.

 

[dilapidatedMind]

is there any way you could get to know anybody/meet any potential friends? if therapy isn't an option, friends could help take your mind off things.

I made one friend recently but only as a consolation for asking her out. The friendship is too painful. I like her so much. I thought she liked me more than that but I don't know.

 

[Jean Améry]

I'm not sure what you mean by 'terrible'. Whether you want to live or die is ultimately up to you. Presumably there's no window of opportunity to CTB that'll close soon so there's something to be said for trying that therapy. If there's still time to do it later what do you have to lose? Especially since you indicated that new therapy looks promising to you.

As to your obnoxious roommate: since you've indicated it's difficult to move out (might still be worth trying to find out if there really aren't any other options than living there) the only other alternative is communication. Of course that would require a certain willingness on her part to actually listen to you. Plus you'd have to show a willingness to hear her out too: obviously I don't know anything about the particulars of this situation but it could be the case that you misread her behaviour due to your PTSD and pain. Try speaking to her solely from your own perspective (explain in detail what bothers you and why like you have here) and avoid generalizations or negative judgement on her as this will likely put her on the defensive. I doubt she'd want to hear she's a typical obnoxious, passive agressive millenial. Even if it happens to be true.

Have you discussed this problem with your therapist? Perhaps she might be able to suggest other living-arrangments. Perhaps there are services that could help you in that regard. If not she should be able to suggest beneficial ways of handling the conversation with your roommate. Therapists are supposed to be experts in human behaviour so she should be able to help you out and provide some useful pointers.

Clearly you're in a tight spot. The best of luck to you.

 

[Lupgevif]

No, it wouldn't be terrible, specially if your past experiences with therapy were bad. But if you think this time it could be different, why not? Unfortunately, it is true therapy can cause emotional distress, and many therapists do leave you to cope with it by yourself because your learning to deal with such pain is part of the process. Still, if you think you could go through it, albeit with some suffering, I'd advise you did, you will still be free to make any choice later if it doesn't work.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

how did you meet this girl? through a common interest or by chance? however you met her, you could meet new people the same way.

 

[dilapidatedMind]

how did you meet this girl? through a common interest or by chance? however you met her, you could meet new people the same way.

A cashier. I always went to her lane and then asked for her number months later. I wish she wanted to be more than friends. She's amazing. She comes across as interested in her texts. So confusing.