Venting Would it be selfish to meet new people when everything about CTB is already planned?

[udusa]

I have already planned it all, the method, the date (12:00am october 30th), and the "missing tasks" to complete in the 20 days I have left.

However, I've been thinking a lot about selfishness. I know committing suicide is already selfish in itself, and I have already gotten over that through various nights of reflecting on the matter. But... lately, I've been wanting to talk to more people and get to know them. I just want to take advantage of the days I have left, even though for me it has always been hard to be positive about life itself (I don't want to get into the matter of my motives for ctb)

Would that be even more selfish? It's such a stupid idea, I mean, the people I already know will have to get through the loss... Would it even be worth it to make more people suffer through that? And even less when you take into account that they would only be able to talk to me for less than 20 days...

I'm not sure if it's a good idea to meet new people when I've already decided on CTB. Has anyone else felt something like this before?

 

[ipmanwc0]

I don't think it's selfish

 

[udusa]

I don't think it's selfish

Why do you say that?

 

[ipmanwc0]

Why do you say that?

People don't get attached this easily. And if they're on ss they'll be glad for you

 

[udusa]

People don't get attached this easily. And if they're on ss they'll be glad for you

I get what you're saying but I'm not just talking about ss, for example I could try to be more social during college, but yeah I don't really know how it would affect them after all

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Absolutely not. You deserve human connection. And if they dont know you that long it wont matter because they wont even be that attached yet. Experience life before you CTB. At least thats what I'm trying to do. I have little under a year left and I wont be telling anyone my intentions to CTB but that wont stop me from trying to get to know someone before I do. You have nothing to lose. Make connections. Enjoy yourself. Dont miss out on potential relationships just because youre going to CTB. You have no idea how long theyre going to last anyway. Enjoy it while you can

 

[udusa]

Absolutely not. You deserve human connection. And if they dont know you that long it wont matter because they wont even be that attached yet. Experience life before you CTB. At least thats what I'm trying to do. I have little under a year left and I wont be telling anyone my intentions to CTB but that wont stop me from trying to get to know someone before I do. You have nothing to lose. Make connections. Enjoy yourself. Dont miss out on potential relationships just because youre going to CTB. You have no idea how long theyre going to last anyway. Enjoy it while you can

You know? You're right.

I really worry about how attached people could get just because that's something that personally happens to me when meeting new people (most of the time even less than 20 days), but they probably wouldn't care to that much of an extent.

Thanks for giving your point of view

 

[loopdaloop]

i think that the only attachment that might be immoral to make before ctb-ing is a parent-child relationship, and even that can become okay-ish after the child becomes an independent adult

feal free to socialize however you like regardless of ctb plans

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Of course it's selfish. We are all selfish. I want to kill myself to stop my pain (selfish). People around me don't want me to kill myself because that would be painful to them (selfish). I don't say this in a mean way. All people are self serving.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

You know? You're right.

I really worry about how attached people could get just because that's something that personally happens to me when meeting new people (most of the time even less than 20 days), but they probably wouldn't care to that much of an extent.

Thanks for giving your point of view

I'm glad I could help. It really only happens with like 1/10 people but every once and a while I feel an attachment to someone that doesnt even know i exist. Its very few and far between otherwise I'd think I had some severe personality disorder but mostly it doesnt happen. The point is, youre not obligated to distance yourself on the off chance someone also gets attached to you. You deserve human connection. Theres always a chance someone gets hurt but thats the potential consequence of interacting with other humans. Youre allowed to connect to others. You're not responsible for anything other than your own actions and how you treat others. You cant control how they feel or react and honestly you shouldnt want to

 

[DeepCD]

Don't ever feel that CTB is selfish! unless your intentions are to get revenge, then yes, that would be selfish. otherwise, Don't let what others don't understand make you believe that ... ever!

you are most likely traumatized/depressed and on this forum because others in your life were selfish! - no one on this website who is on here genuinely should ever feel that way ... ever!

- and as for answering your question about meeting others being selfish? ... I agree with the answers above! there's nothing selfish about meeting others! and if they're genuinely a good person, they would be thankful that they knew you before you go away. and at the end of the day, they should be happy that you are in a better place and w/peace (Even though they may get upset in the beginning, we're all only human!).

if you do meet others that you feel are worth your effort & extra energy and you give that to them; there is surely nothing selfish about that!

That's my two cents anyways,

 

[Forever Sleep]

Honestly, I would say it was selfish. That's just my opinion but- you don't know how another person will react. People can connect on a deep level in a very short space of time. Maybe they will still be glad of the connection, despite the eventual sadness and loss but, perhaps it will really distress them. I guess maybe it depends on just how close you want to get to them. Not everyone can take death in their stride though.

Personally, I wouldn't want to do it. I'm even trying to distance myself from old friendships and my CTB could well be years off- if I do it at all. Still- I perhaps feel less need for connection than you. I'd say I was a natural loner.

It's really hard to answer to be honest because it is based on a presumption of how another person will react- which isn't something we can predict. In a weird way, there are parallels with antinatilism I think. Is it right to bring a child into this world? They could have a great time but there's the very real risk that they won't. It's about knowingly exposing someone to risk and grief. Personally, I think that's something we should avoid.

Still- I wonder if it's worse to swing the other way. Some people consider deliberately making people dislike them, or actively shunning them before CTB. I don't really think that's the way to go either. That way, their last memories with you will be hurtful and they'll likely start wondering whether it was something they did. Maybe yours would actually be the better way- building some nice memories with them beforehand.

Of course- the ideal would be for us to be able to talk about suicide openly. Then, we would be able to say proper goodbyes. Then, it would be up to them on how much contact they wanted with us. They could make that decision on what they could handle.

 

[Aim]

I have already planned it all, the method, the date (12:00am october 30th), and the "missing tasks" to complete in the 20 days I have left.

However, I've been thinking a lot about selfishness. I know committing suicide is already selfish in itself, and I have already gotten over that through various nights of reflecting on the matter. But... lately, I've been wanting to talk to more people and get to know them. I just want to take advantage of the days I have left, even though for me it has always been hard to be positive about life itself (I don't want to get into the matter of my motives for ctb)

Would that be even more selfish? It's such a stupid idea, I mean, the people I already know will have to get through the loss... Would it even be worth it to make more people suffer through that? And even less when you take into account that they would only be able to talk to me for less than 20 days...

I'm not sure if it's a good idea to meet new people when I've already decided on CTB. Has anyone else felt something like this before?

I cant give you a right and wrong answer here. I mean maybe a bit selfish. But there is also different kinds of friends, like some are very close. and some are not that close. idk